Discussion Anyone else in their early 20s who have completely given up on life?

[Octavina]

I don't want to make this too much about myself but some context.
dozens of suicide attempts and ideation since 13
manic depression and BPD
Asperger's syndrome (made my life worse)
And finally
Severe bulimia that has been untreated since 2019. I tired to get help from various mental health teams but they have done jack s**t, even when I have now developed cardiac abnormalities and Hypokalaemia, they're just like, 'go get an IV infusion and let the NHS nurses and doctors deal with that, even though I'm going constantly back to hospital because of this, when I could be getting therapy and help for the ED.
So yeah anyone else feel the same? I'd love to hear!

Also bonus points if you've been told the phrase 'you're so young, and you have your whole life ahead of you' bs
(If I had £1 for everytime someone told me this I would most definitely be able to afford Nembutal right now)
Love you all my SS family

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Same feel but my situation is simpler.

Want gf but am incel NEET, it's over. 23 yo.

 

[Symbiote]

In my 20s I was okay with just throwing me away, since I knew that when I hit my 30s, it'll be the same. Well I'm getting close to the 40s range and things feel more numb than before with the occasional outburst here and there.

 

[WornOutLife]

I've been suicidal since I was 12 so, I understand the hell you're going through.
Now, I'm 33 and I just can't believe my eyes when I look at myself in a mirror. I'm like "What are you STILL doing here bruh?"

My only conclusion is that my problem is not having the right method nor the guts to go for it. (Also, the goddamn Argentina's customs doesn't help at all. They suck and there's no way for me to get SN or N)

 

[yive]

Want gf but am incel NEET, it's over. 23 yo.

i'm incel neet too, don't want to work or study, don't want to die an old man, don't want to suffer, don't want to play this stupid "game" by the rules etc, etc, etc...

 

[Octavina]

I've been suicidal since I was 12 so, I understand the hell you're going through.
Now, I'm 33 and I just can't believe my eyes when I look at the mirror. I'm like "What are you STILL doing here bruh?"

My only conclusion is that my problem is not having the right method nor the guts to go for it. (Also, the goddamn Argentina's customs doesn't help at all. They suck and there's no way for me to get SN or N)

Ugh this hits me hard. The UK hasn't made it hard to get SN, and I have purchased it from Russia twice now, I feel bad that I ended up wasting it or ended not going through with it because I failed last time. I don't want to encourage ctb but I want your pain to end, the accessibility to one of the most popular methods at the time is starting to get tighter to obtain.

 

[SweetDreams500]

I'm 25, but been suicidal since 17. It's pretty much over for me. There's no way out of my current predicament. I will kill myself.

Same feel but my situation is simpler.

Want gf but am incel NEET, it's over. 23 yo.

is it because of looks?

 

[nolongerhuman]

Yeah I'm 22 and just can't deal with the emotional volatility my mental health problems cause anymore. I tried to get 'fixed' but after 5-6 therapists and no difference I've given up hope that it can get better. I can't and won't do six more decades of this.

 

[DarkWolf]

I'm so fed up with the 'you're so young' comments. I'm in my 20s, it feels like no one takes me seriously. I suspect I have more than one 'mental illness' as the normies call it but I've never been diagnosed with anything.

 

[HopelessFight]

In my early 20's, I was in a similar situation. Especially BPD made my life unbearable. If the SN method was known back then, I'd have immediately taken it without a single doubt.

To give you some hope: BPD often improves when you get older, near your 30's many patients are in a much better situation. While I'm not 100% recovered, I rarely suffer from BPD anymore now (almost 30). I do have another disease making my life unbearable now, but for people with BPD there is actually some hope, but it depends on some factors, like how your personal life develops. I got lucky finding a good paying job and moving out from a toxic family, which probably did a lot to the recovery.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

I'm 27 and a incel/volcel/hermitcel (depend on mental state). But to be honest, at this point, sex or relationship with a girl won't cure my depression realism and suicidal thoughts.

Currently jobless, trying to finish fullstack Javascript bootcamp and hope to get a job as a web developer.
Hope to get my own room or apartment, but consider how expensive is it to live in this city, it could be a dream, while I have zero work experience in tech industry.

It's very easy to buy SN in my country though. But I just want to die alone without any intervention. I have thought about CTB in a hotel room but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to that resolution.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

I'm 24 (technically 23; birthday in December) and I've been suicidal since 15. I want to go so badly now; might ctb in eight weeks. This society is a shithole full of suffering & humanity is horrifically cruel. I wish I was never born at all.

 

[vrotka]

I'm 23, been feeling like I shouldn't be born since I was 6 i think. Actual suicidal ideation came when I was 12 maybe? Had two attemps or I guess suicidal gestures so far, one at age 16, then at almost 22. I always been struggling with social situations and acting "normal" so I'm starting to suspect some level of autism. Saved myself a year ago by applying to uni, now I'm falling behind the work real bad due to depression and adhd. It feels like I'm inches away from ending it because I see no future for myself the way I am.

 

[jakaka]

24 and realistically have only ruined my life in the past 6 months. But the damage is too far gone. I am self sabatoging to the point of no return. Never struggled with depression previously but hit an episode due to lack of routine and direction. Always have had very bad bouts of anxiety and it hit its peak and got so bad to the point of turning borderline psychotic due to sleep deprivation. Now I'm back to normal but everything I had and was is gone. Too many regrets. Can't het back what was. Cannot move on knowing what could have been if I hadn't have ruined it. My moods have always been questionable as well. Anger issues when I was younger and more so developed into a control freak. I had my shot together real well. Never saw this coming.

 

[fufa]

20 y/o getting a degree that I hate.
Decent career prospects but I'll loathe it anyways.
I don't enjoy anything, kissless virgin, meds don't work, therapy is BS, etc.
My mental state has been on a downward spiral since I was 10.
Probably going to melt my brain with psychedelics and shoot myself.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

is it because of looks?

I'm average looking, nothing super weird about my appearance. I'm simply not normal enough for job/gf/studies/friends and even hobbies. I'd have to somehow find someone as fucked up and fucked up in the exact same way, that then chooses me instead of the 100 entrepreneurs with "fascinating" lives that they could get by using tinder for five minutes. Now, even if I got a gf my penis is destroyed from porn abuse so I'd have to fix that and knowing myself I'd get bored with the relationship after two weeks and just leave after I lost my virginity and realized it wasn't a big deal. Figure this since that's what's happened with friends/educations/jobs, I just don't stick to anything.

 

[Odwin]

Mhh, my case was a bit different. With 23 I decided, if nothing major changes before I get 30. I just kill myself.

Well now I am here.

 

[Bamman]

Only in my mid 20s and I have a form of encephalopathy affecting my body and mind so I don't want to keep going and get worse. I feel scared and hopeless most days.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Mhh, my case was a bit different. With 23 I decided, if nothing major changes before I get 30. I just kill myself.

Well now I am here.

Hmm, what didn't change that you wanted to change, if anything? I'm looking at being a NEET in mom's basement until 30 or so and then commit to suicide. So that my little sister will be older and more able to handle it, and that it will no longer look like I have some good future ahead of me if I only "applied myself".

 

[Bamman]

I've been suicidal since I was 12 so, I understand the hell you're going through.
Now, I'm 33 and I just can't believe my eyes when I look at myself in a mirror. I'm like "What are you STILL doing here bruh?"

My only conclusion is that my problem is not having the right method nor the guts to go for it. (Also, the goddamn Argentina's customs doesn't help at all. They suck and there's no way for me to get SN or N)

I imagine if most of us had N this forum would be drastically smaller...

 

[Odwin]

Hmm, what didn't change that you wanted to change, if anything?

Something how I feel about things.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Chronic illness at 23 sent me on a downward spiral and made me apathetic towards life. I'm 27 this year, and I feel like a brain-dead child kept on life support while her earthbound soul enters yet another spin of the 'meh-go-round' of life.

This couldn't be more accurate.

 

[Carrotcake]

I don't know, I keep having these moments where I'm like "if I get my shit together now, I could still fix it". But I never do of course. So then the moment of "all is inevitably lost" follows.

 

[hahabye]

It suprisises me to see here how many people have been suicidal since their early teens... I always I was the only one like this.

Something was always off about me and now that I've been on and off suicidal for over 12 years, I am definitely done with all of this and ready to go.

 

[Poisonblood]

I've been suicidal since 12 years old and it has intensified now that I'm in my 20s. The older I get, the more I realize how shitty, vile and stupid most humans that infest this planet are. It's a curse but there's a silver lining to it: it gives me strong motivation to CTB, which wouldn't be possible if I'm living a happy life.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yup. I'm late 20s, 27 to be exact. Never had a girlfriend, never kissed, never held hands, still a virgin etc etc. Total incel. Honestly any woman who does show interest at me at this point would have to be really fucking stupid/naive because all of those are literal red flags. It's normal to be all those things but it's just not normal to be all those things at this age. Even early 20s it's fine to still be relationshipless but it's just embarrassing once you're past 25 in my opinion.

As for jobs I also have nothing now. I guess I'm basically a NEET too. I did just get my degree in Business last summer but it was literal BS and I don't feel like it's fair to any company to try to get a job if I'm already consumed by heartbreak to the point where I will die for sure next year.

 

[LostSoul1609]

20 yo here.
Toxic family, extremely toxic parent, toxic friends. Living a numb life which is only composed of work hours and bad moments. I also work at a very well payed job that I hate with all my strenght.
I suffer from Major Depressive and Anxiety disorder, been on meds for a lot, now I only take antidepressants. Tried many things to boost up my life, went to therapy for a year, tried theatre, art (I love art, still love it) but it didn't really work out. Been on dates with women and men, but starting a relationship when you're constantly idealizing suicide ain't easy, plus shitty parents kinda affect the way you attach to people and how you socialize.
I've been contemplating suicide since I was 11, at this point I just want to go in peace, probably SN or Night Night.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I've been suicidal since I was around 12/13 due to trauma, and I'm now 21 with incurable ptsd and multiple disabilities. Like the rest of you, I am so tired of hearing these platitudes about being so young and life potentially getting better.

Not only did I lose pretty much all of my teenage years due to sicknessss and abuse, but now I get to spend the golden years of my youth laid up in bed while everyone around me goes out, parties, and travels the world.

I'm doing a degree that makes me want to tear my hair out. It takes all my energy just to function with limited capacity due to how physically sick I am everyday. My quality of life is abhorrent and people want to try to force me to live so that I can experience "the joys yet to come."

Ah yes, the joys I have yet to experience, like constantly fearing homelessness and further suffering because I'm too disabled to work and I can't get benefits!

 

[IanUK]

I'm nearly 60 but had the thoughts all my life however much of my attitude comes from a general disgust of my fellow humanity. I am not a lover of humans which makes living with our species a daily battle

 

[SweetDreams500]

I'm average looking, nothing super weird about my appearance. I'm simply not normal enough for job/gf/studies/friends and even hobbies. I'd have to somehow find someone as fucked up and fucked up in the exact same way, that then chooses me instead of the 100 entrepreneurs with "fascinating" lives that they could get by using tinder for five minutes. Now, even if I got a gf my penis is destroyed from porn abuse so I'd have to fix that and knowing myself I'd get bored with the relationship after two weeks and just leave after I lost my virginity and realized it wasn't a big deal. Figure this since that's what's happened with friends/educations/jobs, I just don't stick to anything.

I'm a bit like that, I don't really stick to anything. I'm also insufferable, and I have a colossal envy problem that makes almost every social interaction very painful and unpleasant.