hopelessgirl
Happy Unbirthday
- Oct 12, 2021
- 499
I am lying in bed till like 3-4 in the afternoon every day. Staring into the ceiling. Thinking about CTB. Going to bed early in the evening around 10PM.
The rest of the hours when Im out of bed I mostly Google CBT or am on here. Sometimes I force my self to play some computer games. I am just waiting to die.
Anyone experiencing this?
I'm not even on my phone or the computer when Im lying in bed. I don't turn my phone on anymore because I don't want to talk to anyone, and I don't go on social media for the same reason..
Ordered SN but it won't arrive until between the 15th November and 3rd of December. it seems like an eternity and I'm almost so desperate to go for the long drop hanging. Im a climber so I have a climbing rope of course. It is literally made for falling. Which when I write this might be a problem of course, because it is slightly dynamic to make the falls softer. I don't think it was made for necks anyways, and the shorter the rope is the less dynamic it is (since I´ll only be using like 2 meters of it more or less don't remember).
Anyways I literally can't find any motivation to get out of bed or do anything at all. Because of my anxiety I don't listen to music anymore or watch movies. I don't even bother drinking water or barely eating any food. I just eat what my roommate gives me ( yeah he's a fucking saint). I do take my meds for bipolar but they obviously don't work.
The rest of the hours when Im out of bed I mostly Google CBT or am on here. Sometimes I force my self to play some computer games. I am just waiting to die.
Anyone experiencing this?
I'm not even on my phone or the computer when Im lying in bed. I don't turn my phone on anymore because I don't want to talk to anyone, and I don't go on social media for the same reason..
Ordered SN but it won't arrive until between the 15th November and 3rd of December. it seems like an eternity and I'm almost so desperate to go for the long drop hanging. Im a climber so I have a climbing rope of course. It is literally made for falling. Which when I write this might be a problem of course, because it is slightly dynamic to make the falls softer. I don't think it was made for necks anyways, and the shorter the rope is the less dynamic it is (since I´ll only be using like 2 meters of it more or less don't remember).
Anyways I literally can't find any motivation to get out of bed or do anything at all. Because of my anxiety I don't listen to music anymore or watch movies. I don't even bother drinking water or barely eating any food. I just eat what my roommate gives me ( yeah he's a fucking saint). I do take my meds for bipolar but they obviously don't work.
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