Anyone else here an orphan?

[NaturalBornNEET]

Anyone here an orphan or have a deceased/absent parent?

I never met my dad and my mum caught the bus (heroin OD iirc) when I was 5

how do you think it effected you? I dont know enough about psychology and when I try to think on it im not really sure how it wouldve effected me but I know it has

one positive is not having to deal with the grieving parents dilemma that a lot of suicidal people have to face

 

[sleepyghost]

Did you have a legal guardian/foster care etc at any point… or any grandparents?

 

[S like Siren]

I preferred to be an orphan than having the shitty family that i had...but i feel i have noone that i have no family, not belonging to noone and nothing

 

[silverspring]

Technically not a textbook orphan, but, I was taken away from my drug addicted parents (along with my seven older siblings) when I was barely one year old. Lived with my grandma for a bit. By the time I was three I was a ward of the state/in a conservatorship pretty much, with my aunt and uncle who stepped in as "mom and dad" til I turned 18. My biological father went to prison for murder when I was in the second grade and was locked away, also, until I turned 18. My aunt and uncle did their best with me and I have had trauma regarding seeing my father since he got out of prison and my biological mother is a damn joke. End of story summary: as I said, I'm not a textbook orphan, but I have no sense of family and feel disconnected from all of them. It really fucking blows- I can't get close to anyone now. A loner for sure.

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Did you have a legal guardian/foster care etc at any point… or any grandparents?

I went into foster care for a bit then moved country to live with my aunt and uncle

Technically not a textbook orphan, but, I was taken away from my drug addicted parents (along with my seven older siblings) when I was barely one year old. Lived with my grandma for a bit. By the time I was three I was a ward of the state/in a conservatorship pretty much, with my aunt and uncle who stepped in as "mom and dad" til I turned 18. My biological father went to prison for murder when I was in the second grade and was locked away, also, until I turned 18. My aunt and uncle did their best with me and I have had trauma regarding seeing my father since he got out of prison and my biological mother is a damn joke. End of story summary: as I said, I'm not a textbook orphan, but I have no sense of family and feel disconnected from all of them. It really fucking blows- I can't get close to anyone now. A loner for sure.

same im an abject loner, I have no friends and I dont interact with my extended family. I am grateful to my aunt and uncle for feeding me and putting a roof over my head but I never bonded with them and I dont see them as a mother and father figure

I know not much about my dad except that hes alive, I only found out a few weeks ago that apparently I have unknowingly walked past him in public twice and him and my aunt noticed each other but he didnt bother to do anything... honestly it really hurt to find out

I preferred to be an orphan than having the shitty family that i had...but i feel i have noone that i have no family, not belonging to noone and nothing

same im so relieved my mum died and I was able to escape the hellhole she put me in, she was a druggy piece of shit and let many sadistic psychopathic druggy boyfriends into her life who tormented me and her

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Yes l'm a orphan and have been on my own in the cold dark world since l was 22yrs old! The Army became my family for 9yrs and l hoped to die a soldier's death but l survived due to my skill set and some luck! Dog's have been my family ever since! Since Dog's are more deserving than humans!!!

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Yes l'm a orphan and have been on my own in the cold dark world since l was 22yrs old! The Army became my family for 9yrs and l hoped to die a soldier's death but l survived due to my skill set and some luck! Dog's have been my family ever since! Since Dog's are more deserving than humans!!!

animals make great companions!

I love cats especially but its been years now since ive been able to interact with one QwQ

unfortunately tho I cant conversate with animals which is something I am starved for (why I signed up here), sometimes I wonder if im a highly inhibited anxious extravert but its been so long since ive been in a social situation with many people that I cant remember if I lose energy or gain energy from it

 

[unkuto]

I'm not actually an orphan but I lost both of my parents. My mom was cruelly killed when I was 11. She went out one evening and never returned. 3 months later she was found in the closest forest outside of city limited decapitated. They never found who and why did it.
My dad died two years ago from terminal stage of lung cancer. He begin to cough really bad and complaint about chest pain but doctors were dumb enough to detect lung cancer and instead they decided to start treatment for tuberculosis which took six months. It didn't help because he never had it and dad's condition got worse and worse. When they finally sent him to the capital city and did full check they found he got a terminal stage of lung cancer where it spread almost through entire body: from bones to inner organs. They decided to just release him home to die because they were afraid to start chemo or use other methods as he had a stroke in the past and they were afraid he is going die during it. Cunts. He was going to die either way. Why at least not try even if there is 0,00001% chance that it would help? His last month of life was a nightmare. I wish nobody would have to deal with that in their life. Dying from cancer is really scary. At least his final sufferings did only last a month and not longer. Even the heavy drugs they were giving him were useless. Just for a month he lost nearly all his weight and looked like a skeleton.

 

[S like Siren]

the hellhole she put me in, she was a druggy piece of shit and let many sadistic psychopathic druggy boyfriends into her life who tormented me and her

I'm so sorry for all the awful thing you went throught

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

I'm not actually an orphan but I lost both of my parents. My mom was cruelly killed when I was 11. She went out one evening and never returned. 3 months later she was found in the closest forest outside of city limited decapitated. They never found who and why did it.
My dad died two years ago from terminal stage of lung cancer. He begin to cough really bad and complaint about chest pain but doctors were dumb enough to detect lung cancer and instead they decided to start treatment for tuberculosis which took six months. It didn't help because he never had it and dad's condition got worse and worse. When they finally sent him to the capital city and did full check they found he got a terminal stage of lung cancer where it spread almost through entire body: from bones to inner organs. They decided to just release him home to die because they were afraid to start chemo or use other methods as he had a stroke in the past and they were afraid he is going die during it. Cunts. He was going to die either way. Why at least not try even if there is 0,00001% chance that it would help? His last month of life was a nightmare. I wish nobody would have to deal with that in their life. Dying from cancer is really scary. At least his final sufferings did only last a month and not longer. Even the heavy drugs they were giving him were useless. Just for a month he lost nearly all his weight and looked like a skeleton.

that sounds fucking horrible im so sorry. I hold deep grudges towards the men who had a hand in my mothers death. But for your mothers murderer to get away unpunished... I couldnt even imagine the pain and I wouldnt know where to direct all that hatred and rage, cuz I know thats what id feel

also fuck those doctors

 

[Life_and_Death]

Technically yes.
I grew up with a "mom and dad" but I consider myself emotionally orphaned and emotionally homeless.
While my mother is my bio mom the person who I called "dad" for 13-14yrs was not. (I disowned them at 16, walked straight into his work and said I don't want either of you talking to me again or I will call the cops. And then calling them a disgrace or something like that. It's missing about 2yrs because we didn't even met him until after I turned 2 and moved to another province.) On top of not being my bio dad he was also abusive. Mentally, not so much physically and sexually is questionable.
My mother was abusive. Mentally and physically. One day my "dad" was laying sod. She had me drive across it on my bike. She said it would be funny. It was funny for her. I got yelled at while she was standing behind me laughing her head off. I also took all the wooden spoons out of the kitchen drawer and hid them behind my bed. It's been things here and there like that, not to mention I also raised their damn child from the ages of 11-16. I love my brother and I would never fault him for her actions, but really, you PLANNED a child just to get high all the fucking time so I could play live in babysitter!
And then when I was 18 I met my bio dad. Yeah, I had the privilege of not being rejected by 1 set of parents but 2. "hey mum (stepmom) where's dad" "oh his account got hacked" and he didn't care enough to get you to let me know? Really? Plus he has 4 other kids to care about (2 his 2 stepmoms) forget about the one that was taken from your life and you've lived without for 18yrs that you know has mental problems caused by your fucking ex and is suicidal, yeah fuck her (me).
So... Yeah.... Emotionally orphaned. People say you shouldn't wish for things like this but..... I wish I was orphaned.... No family has to be better then being rejected twice. At least you know where you stand when you have no one...
And that's just parents, my aunt's (no uncles) and friends all left me too. Cleaning out my fb recently.... If it wasn't for my little brother id probably just delete my account. All the "hey"s and "good morning"s that went unanswered.... Why the fuck did you even add me if you don't care about me.
Sorry I went on a bit of a rant.... Recently realizing how alone I am hasn't been feeling the best.

I don't understand what I did.....

 

[FinalPeace]

Not a textbook orphan but was abused and disowned by parents before I was a preteen. Was in foster care then went back to parents before I was disowned again. One parent is not biological. They both lie about it and won't come clean.

Lived with an abusive older partner until adulthood then became a ward of the court, only to reenter the shelter system before being placed in independent housing.

I've been emotionally homeless all my life. Let's not talk about the handful of fake friends that call you family but dont treat you the same as actual family. Fuck 'em all. I'm now a perpetual loner.

Been suicidal for decades but things came to a head in the last few years. And thanks to a bunch of asshole trailer trash Karens and some other events I have no more fake imaginings of a successful life holding me to this earth. Good riddance to this shithole!

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Technically yes.
I grew up with a "mom and dad" but I consider myself emotionally orphaned and emotionally homeless.
While my mother is my bio mom the person who I called "dad" for 13-14yrs was not. (I disowned them at 16, walked straight into his work and said I don't want either of you talking to me again or I will call the cops. And then calling them a disgrace or something like that. It's missing about 2yrs because we didn't even met him until after I turned 2 and moved to another province.) On top of not being my bio dad he was also abusive. Mentally, not so much physically and sexually is questionable.
My mother was abusive. Mentally and physically. One day my "dad" was laying sod. She had me drive across it on my bike. She said it would be funny. It was funny for her. I got yelled at while she was standing behind me laughing her head off. I also took all the wooden spoons out of the kitchen drawer and hid them behind my bed. It's been things here and there like that, not to mention I also raised their damn child from the ages of 11-16. I love my brother and I would never fault him for her actions, but really, you PLANNED a child just to get high all the fucking time so I could play live in babysitter!
And then when I was 18 I met my bio dad. Yeah, I had the privilege of not being rejected by 1 set of parents but 2. "hey mum (stepmom) where's dad" "oh his account got hacked" and he didn't care enough to get you to let me know? Really? Plus he has 4 other kids to care about (2 his 2 stepmoms) forget about the one that was taken from your life and you've lived without for 18yrs that you know has mental problems caused by your fucking ex and is suicidal, yeah fuck her (me).
So... Yeah.... Emotionally orphaned. People say you shouldn't wish for things like this but..... I wish I was orphaned.... No family has to be better then being rejected twice. At least you know where you stand when you have no one...
And that's just parents, my aunt's (no uncles) and friends all left me too. Cleaning out my fb recently.... If it wasn't for my little brother id probably just delete my account. All the "hey"s and "good morning"s that went unanswered.... Why the fuck did you even add me if you don't care about me.
Sorry I went on a bit of a rant.... Recently realizing how alone I am hasn't been feeling the best.

I don't understand what I did.....

living with drug addicts is a terrifying experience especially when the drug addicts are supposed to be the ones who look after you, its a chaotic and abusive environment and I can understand wanting to remove yourself from it

before I CTB I want to meet my dad who left before I was born but I think being rejected by him is a very likely outcome, if that happens I think it may be the final push I need to get the courage to end it all... ill be so angry ill make sure to make known the reason for my suicide was his rejection of me, not like he would care anyway tho...

 

[LONE WOLF.]

animals make great companions!

I love cats especially but its been years now since ive been able to interact with one QwQ

unfortunately tho I cant conversate with animals which is something I am starved for (why I signed up here), sometimes I wonder if im a highly inhibited anxious extravert but its been so long since ive been in a social situation with many people that I cant remember if I lose energy or gain energy from it

Hi @brainless, You don't need to be able to speak Animal so much as to be able to read their facial expressions and their body language, Being able to do this brings you and the animal really close together and you'll form a Strong bond! Best of luck Friend

 

[KimKevorkian]

Yes l'm a orphan and have been on my own in the cold dark world since l was 22yrs old! The Army became my family for 9yrs and l hoped to die a soldier's death but l survived due to my skill set and some luck! Dog's have been my family ever since! Since Dog's are more deserving than humans!!!

Dogs are the best. Went to Best Friends once and saw many of those beautiful, SWEET< SWEET pitties that fucker Michael Vick tortured. He's a dude whose head should be Osterized. Thug mofos. What barbarians. Beautiful dogs that would lick you to death, that's all.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Sometimes I wish I have been an orphan

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

My father died when I was in elementary school, but was an alcoholic (and a likely drug addict too from the company he kept and stories I've heard) and had tried to shoot himself in front of me and one of my grandparents before he was inevitably killed by one of his hard-drug addled friends.

Ever since the day I was born, my mother didn't want me, and passed me off to my grandparents. Several times they would try to prompt her to interact with me, but even when she stayed in their house, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. When I became an adult, my mother wrote to me and said that due to her illness (and probably ECT treatment) she was incapable of feeling love for me as a newborn.

Because my mother didn't bond with me as an infant, no attatchment was formed. To this day, I have no relationship with my mother. Pretty much all of my childhood memories are of my grandparents or my aunt, who ended up turning abusive in the years prior to her death. I've never known the love of a mother or father, as my father's mother triumphantly exclaimed how I wasn't meant to be born and her son had never wanted children.

At 16, I was signed over to a Foster family, whom I dearly cherished, but at times it was made abundantly clear that they were milking the money they got from taking care of me, and nurture was an afterthought. I ran away shortly before adulthood. Despite trying to recconect recently, things are not the same, it feels very somber and derelict. So even my foster parents don't seem to care anymore.

One of the only two people who ever loved me, my grandfather, died an excruciatingly painful death when I was a teenager and it has haunted me ever since. When my grandmother dies, I will be completely alone in this world. Any other attatchment I have formed is ephemeral and contingent on providing sex and romance, and if that ends, my partner will kick me to the curb.

I can relate to feeling as if there is there is no one to mourn for you and nothing stopping you, when the prevailing sentiment sprinkled into discussions of suicide is, "omg, think about your family! Reach out to your family for support!" only to be met with radio silence when we explain that we have no family. They sure as hell aren't going to care enough to let us into their tribe, but they will insinuate that there must be somebody out there who will.

 

[FinalPeace]

Ever since the day I was born, my mother didn't want me, and passed me off to my grandparents. Several times they would try to prompt her to interact with me, but even when she stayed in their house, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. When I became an adult, my mother wrote to me and said that due to her illness (and probably ECT treatment) she was incapable of feeling love for me as a newborn.

Because my mother didn't bond with me as an infant, no attatchment was formed. To this day, I have no relationship with my mother. Pretty much all of my childhood memories are of my grandparents or my aunt, who ended up turning abusive in the years prior to her death. I've never known the love of a mother or father, as my father's mother triumphantly exclaimed how I wasn't meant to be born and her son had never wanted children.

I can totally relate to this. Although I was physically disowned as a preteen I was emotionally disowned before age 5. I was always left alone and never had anyone to talk to. I never bonded with parents.

At 16, I was signed over to a Foster family, whom I dearly cherished, but at times it was made abundantly clear that they were milking the money they got from taking care of me, and nurture was an afterthought. I ran away shortly before adulthood. Despite trying to recconect recently, things are not the same, it feels very somber and derelict. So even my foster parents don't seem to care anymore.

I really hate and blame the foster care system for this. There are way more parents doing it for an income than people really understand and believe. Families who do this destroy children's hopes and dreams. It becomes very obvious, very quickly either through disparate treatment of siblings or the lack of interaction with the fostered child. I personally relate.

One of the only two people who ever loved me, my grandfather, died an excruciatingly painful death when I was a teenager and it has haunted me ever since. When my grandmother dies, I will be completely alone in this world. Any other attatchment I have formed is ephemeral and contingent on providing sex and romance, and if that ends, my partner will kick me to the curb.

In my case love was always temporary and conditional. The one relative that I thought loved me, replaced me with other foreign relatives. These foreign relatives financially suck my relative dry. On the other hand I've never asked for or needed a dime but it doesn't seem to matter. I guess my relative's need to be seen as a foreigner and be affiliated with foreign culture has always trumped me.

I will never have a safe emotional home and have never been able to form a completely healthy relationship or attachment with anyone. The majority of people in this world treat others as disposable. I have rarely met anyone who has intentionally sought to nurture a mutually fulfilling relationship with pure intentions of exchanging love and acceptance; neither in the romantic or platonic sense. There are very few who think of attachment and relationships in this manner.

Most relationships suffer from power struggles or the dreaded mask syndrome where each person hides their most vulnerable self. I hate to be lied to. I would love to know what it feels like to be highly valued by someone.

I can relate to feeling as if there is there is no one to mourn for you and nothing stopping you, when the prevailing sentiment sprinkled into discussions of suicide is, "omg, think about your family! Reach out to your family for support!" only to be met with radio silence when we explain that we have no family. They sure as hell aren't going to care enough to let us into their tribe, but they will insinuate that there must be somebody out there who will.

Yes I hate when people express these sentiments as an auto-reaction. It almost seems pre-programmed when they have no response. In my case I don't care for, need or even want to be mourned. If I couldn't have your expressions of care while on earth then it doesn't and will never matter to me after I'm gone.