BPDbitch
Experienced
- Nov 10, 2019
- 248
I'm a MH nurse and I always find it so ironic how I'm constantly suicidal. One aspect of my job is keeping suicidal people alive. I doubt my patients know I can relate as much as I can.
Thank you I think my own experiences help me not be as judgemental as some healthcare staff are regarding suicide (lord knows I've met many of them and it infuriates me). I'm firmly pro choice but I do think that a lot of the people we work with aren't 100% on suicide and I wouldn't want someone to harm themselves on a whim.That is so interesting that you are a MH nurse that helps keep suicidal people allive while you, yourself, are suicidal. Talk about taking your work home with you. Ha! (just kidding). Nonetheless, your work is important and honorable. It takes a special kind of person to do what you do.
It's strange, I guess, but more common than people probably think. I've questioned myself a lot, wondering how I can help others when I've been suicidal for more than half my life. I love the feeling when I've done even something small to help another person so that gets me through mostly. People can get pulled back from the edge and it's an honour to play a part in that. It's also sad in a way because it was my dream job from childhood and now that I'm here I'm like 'time to hang myself folks!' My damn personality disorder got me fucked up . Oh and personality disorders get slagged off amongst MH staff A LOT and it infuriates me because they don't know that I have one and share a job with them.What is it like to be a MH Nurse and also suicidal? Does your job give you more or less hope?
I'm currently working OAMH hospital inpatient. Thankfully the regular staff on my ward are all stars, and there's only a few bank staff who's attitudes have ticked me off. I have heard horror stories from other hospitals and wards though, and it really boils my blood. Burnout happens, but when staff don't care about patients it's time to leave the job.Curious as to your work venue -- inpatient, IOP, community mental health, private practice, etc. If inpatient -- hospital, private facility, exclusive private facility, etc. Each environment has different kinds of staff and atmospheres, often influenced by funding.
I worked front-line CMHC admin, have voluntarily been in some various inpatient environments. In all of them, patients were viewed as separate and less-than, often disempowered, sometimes abused, depending on the environment, organization leadership, and the dollars the facility was chasing.
Oh and personality disorders get slagged off amongst MH staff A LOT and it infuriates me because they don't know that I have one and share a job with them.
that makes me so sad.Curious as to your work venue -- inpatient, IOP, community mental health, private practice, etc. If inpatient -- hospital, private facility, exclusive private facility, etc. Each environment has different kinds of staff and atmospheres, often influenced by funding.
I worked front-line CMHC admin, have voluntarily been in some various inpatient environments. In all of them, patients were viewed as separate and less-than, often disempowered, sometimes abused, depending on the environment, organization leadership, and the dollars the facility was chasing.
You put this is so beautifully - "The labels become the person. The labels make the person wrong, as if they have a character disorder, rather than having developed coping mechanisms that helped them function in and survive toxic environments and caregivers." I'm glad I read this tonight for several reasons.Yup, I've seen that. The labels become the person. The labels make the person wrong, as if they have a character disorder, rather than having developed coping mechanisms that helped them function in and survive toxic environments and caregivers. I once worked with a psychiatrist who proposed some brilliant and humanizing changes to the DSM, which were rejected.
When I worked front line at a CMHC, there was a client with extreme BPD, I got into the mindset of having shields against her, because I really had to maintain boundaries, but it became more like a game of How am I going to win today? The labels create enemies out of hurt people and block creative thinking for how to get along and to empower them as well as the clinicians and staff.
I'm currently working OAMH hospital inpatient.
Burnout happens, but when staff don't care about patients it's time to leave the job.
Older adults' mental health :)I'm not from Europe. What is OAMH? (Your use of the term slagging off made me think European.)
So very true. And so rarely happens. It can really poison the environment and harm patients and co-workers. Leadership can have a major impact on mitigating that though. It becomes really obvious when a good leader leaves and a new one comes in. When employees are empowered, respected, and heard, it trickles down to the patients.
What did your personality disorder do? I have a mood disorder that has cost me so much. If you want to PM about that instead of post here feel free. Would love to hear more.It's strange, I guess, but more common than people probably think. I've questioned myself a lot, wondering how I can help others when I've been suicidal for more than half my life. I love the feeling when I've done even something small to help another person so that gets me through mostly. People can get pulled back from the edge and it's an honour to play a part in that. It's also sad in a way because it was my dream job from childhood and now that I'm here I'm like 'time to hang myself folks!' My damn personality disorder got me fucked up . Oh and personality disorders get slagged off amongst MH staff A LOT and it infuriates me because they don't know that I have one and share a job with them.
I'm currently working OAMH hospital inpatient. Thankfully the regular staff on my ward are all stars, and there's only a few bank staff who's attitudes have ticked me off. I have heard horror stories from other hospitals and wards though, and it really boils my blood. Burnout happens, but when staff don't care about patients it's time to leave the job.
Basically for years I worked so hard against everything standing in my way to get this job, then as soon as I did I'm like "nah I'd rather just die than do this". Mental illness is a strange thing. If you'd like to talk more over pm I'm more than happy toWhat did your personality disorder do? I have a mood disorder that has cost me so much. If you want to PM about that instead of post here feel free. Would love to hear more.
I really hate crashing someone's convo but BPDbitch, can you talk to me about BPD because I'm really struggling with it and combined with a divorce, I feel really messed up. I don't really know what this is.What did your personality disorder do? I have a mood disorder that has cost me so much. If you want to PM about that instead of post here feel free. Would love to hear more.
I'd be happy to chat with you! Can imagine it's tough going through a divorce with BPD as relationship breakups feel like the end of the world. Pm meI
I really hate crashing someone's convo but BPDbitch, can you talk to me about BPD because I'm really struggling with it and combined with a divorce, I feel really messed up. I don't really know what this is.
I relate so hard to the last part there , the job is definitely a good distraction from my personal problems. Kudos for working in prisons and forensics, I'm not sure I could do it.I found this a really interesting thread. I was kind of working in the mental health field also for years. I started off as a prison officer, I worked in the hospital inpatient wing which involved working with seriously suicidal and mentally impaired prisoners but also along side some very psychotic criminals.
I then moved to work in the addiction field in residential rehab, all the while putting other people's lives back together as I was holding onto mine by my finger nails. I used to Bury myself in work, not take days off or vacation time because somehow it was easier to treat others problems than face up to my own.