Venting Anyone Else Have BPD?

[SimplyTopHat]

So I have BPD &it's driving me crazy. I don't trust myself, but what's worse is I depend on others for reassurance &still don't trust anyone completely. *sigh*

I hate that I have it &more so hate the negativity/stigma that comes with it. Considering it's creation stems from trauma, how can a person call someone will BPD evil??
I am absolutely sick of things like:

- How to Deal with Someone with BPD
- Taking your Life Back from Someone with BPD
- How to Recover After Dating Someone with BPD

We didn't choose to be traumatized, &we struggle with our own minds and the distorted self image blessed upon us by shitty parents. Yet, it us we are the ones who "choose" to act this way.

Give me a fucking break.

 

[TVtrays]

I have BPD. I get you when you talk about the stigma. Whenever I look for help, I find a bunch of things about "what it's like to date someone with a personality disorder" saying "take your life back" and shit and I get it, but we're suffering and have everybody hating us at the same time...

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I have BPD. I get you when you talk about the stigma. Whenever I look for help, I find a bunch of things about "what it's like to date someone with a personality disorder" saying "take your life back" and shit and I get it, but we're suffering and have everybody hating us at the same time...

It's incredibly frustrating & disheartening to feel like you're despised for an existence you didn't choose & ostracized for being.

 

[Dear Flabby]

I was diagnosed at 55. The diagnosis fits.
The "so called normal world " treats BPD like leprosy.
For 30 years people thought that I was depressed (quite supportive),
and then bipolar (mostly supportive).
By the time I got a proper diagnosis of BPD, everyone was gone, except for my kind (but exhausted) husband of 30 years.
Combine that with PTSD, and I have no economic value, social value or exploitable skills.
Example: I was recently turned down for a volunteer position as an "eyeglass cleaner" at a long term care home. They could get younger volunteers who needed to pad their University applications. I have physical health problems, and so I am marginalized in every sphere.

 

[Nem]

So I have BPD &it's driving me crazy. I don't trust myself, but what's worse is I depend on others for reassurance &still don't trust anyone completely. *sigh*

I hate that I have it &more so hate the negativity/stigma that comes with it. Considering it's creation stems from trauma, how can a person call someone will BPD evil??
I am absolutely sick of things like:

- How to Deal with Someone with BPD
- Taking your Life Back from Someone with BPD
- How to Recover After Dating Someone with BPD

We didn't choose to be traumatized, &we struggle with our own minds and the distorted self image blessed upon us by shitty parents. Yet, it us we are the ones who "choose" to act this way.

Give me a fucking break.

Yes, it's silly how people treat those with bpd. I've never been diagnosed with it but I have read up on it and do see that people treat it unfairly
Peace/hugs

 

[Giraffey]

My abusive ex suffered from BPD (or rather HPD) and I am continually having to remind people that it was not the disorder that caused her to abuse me. I spent some time trying to get to know and talk to various people who suffer BPD, I wanted to know if they were similarly manipulative, dishonest, calculating and violent - I'm ashamed that I once held such a mindset but with the proliferation of articles on the internet it is hard not to follow the stereotypes and blame the illness.

It really opened my eyes to realise that the illness doesn't define the person, there are so many people out there suffering BPD who are infinitely more lovely than the majority of people who would consider themselves 'normal'. I only hope that the stigma (of which I was once guilty) is overthrown in much the same way as we can now openly talk about most other mental health issues without fear of reprisal.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I had a best friend who suffered from classic symptoms of BPD. She truly suffered. It is, imo, a condition of disordered boundaries caused by early and repeated severe boundary violations.

In my experience, there are two extraordinarily sad things about the condition.

First, the DSM description makes the person wrong. I worked in community mental health, I've seen firsthand how the label makes the sufferer an enemy and encourages, not healthy and compassionate self-shielding against the behaviors that come from a place of deep needs and not knowing how to get them met, but the use of armor and even weapons of defense against the person. The titles the OP listed are cultural examples of this.

Second, in my personal experience, it is a condition that hurts the person as well as those they want to be close to. They often need and yet reject. They often cannot accept what they want and is freely offered, and often unwittingly try to take what is not offered, or cannot stop themselves. As I said, it is a disorder of boundaries. People with BPD are often wonderfully empathetic, intelligent, warm, funny, and giving. But the boundaries and social norms seem to be staggered so that they and those who love them have to navigate hidden minefields to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted. It is heartbreaking and exhausting for all parties. It's like the toxicity that was foisted upon them in their early years is a hyperbolic imitation of the very worst long-acting, time-released psychiatric med.

Psychiatry and psychology could do so much to change the continuing victimization and stigmatization of folks with these issues by changing the damn label and effectively treating the PTSD that caused it and stop blaming them. There are good practitioners out there trying to effect such changes, and those in control of the DSM reject all suggestions that would benefit rather than continually re-victimize the recipients of the label.

It is all so goddamn sad.

The end of the story with my friend is that I had to ask her to move out because I couldn't tolerate the boundary violations any longer. We lived together three different times, and each time was worse. I do not claim to have been perfect, but she knew the reasons, and she just couldn't stop herself. I miss the shit out of her humor, her compassion for those who suffer, her insights and intellect, her advice, and the sharing of her amazing talents. But if I let her back in, she takes too much, immediately. I blame those who hurt her. Through her, they hurt me too, and kept us both from the best in our relationship that we each needed, an ensured the potential could never be met, nor her abundant potential either.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I was diagnosed at 55. The diagnosis fits.
The "so called normal world " treats BPD like leprosy.
For 30 years people thought that I was depressed (quite supportive),
and then bipolar (mostly supportive).
By the time I got a proper diagnosis of BPD, everyone was gone, except for my kind (but exhausted) husband of 30 years.
Combine that with PTSD, and I have no economic value, social value or exploitable skills.
Example: I was recently turned down for a volunteer position as an "eyeglass cleaner" at a long term care home. They could get younger volunteers who needed to pad their University applications. I have physical health problems, and so I am marginalized in every sphere.

I can certainly empathize with your struggle to get a diagnosis &with your desire to help through being thwarted by your own body. It's not easy trying to navigate this life when your mind flip flops consistently without your volition, there are no across the board treatments for it, and your physical health betrays you. I don't know completely how it has affect you over the years, though I can say that it's unbelievably draining &I'm sorry that you too have to live with this.

How are you managing now that you have a diagnosis?

My abusive ex suffered from BPD (or rather HPD) and I am continually having to remind people that it was not the disorder that caused her to abuse me. I spent some time trying to get to know and talk to various people who suffer BPD, I wanted to know if they were similarly manipulative, dishonest, calculating and violent - I'm ashamed that I once held such a mindset but with the proliferation of articles on the internet it is hard not to follow the stereotypes and blame the illness.

It really opened my eyes to realise that the illness doesn't define the person, there are so many people out there suffering BPD who are infinitely more lovely than the majority of people who would consider themselves 'normal'. I only hope that the stigma (of which I was once guilty) is overthrown in much the same way as we can now openly talk about most other mental health issues without fear of reprisal.

I can't believe you had to live through that, it sounds awful. I glad you were able to push through.

I do wish to add, however, that the fact that you were able to separate the person's actions from a overgeneralized view of the disorder as a whole. My disorder, among my physical health issues &PTSD are why I'm here on SS; in fact, trying to navigate human interaction &not understanding why my brain believes &does certain things is why I want to CTB. I'm in therapy now hoping that it will fix this push/pull, love/hate thoughts process that I have &though I am trying... I'm not holding out that I can get better. Sure there's DBT &medication, but there's also so much pain to unpack that as I do, I lose track of when I am &end dissociating &planning my death. I intend to CTB while I'm lucid &everyday I struggle with being present in this time, so that I don't impulsively CTB.

I had a best friend who suffered from classic symptoms of BPD. She truly suffered. It is, imo, a condition of disordered boundaries caused by early and repeated severe boundary violations.

In my experience, there are two extraordinarily sad things about the condition.

First, the DSM description makes the person wrong. I worked in community mental health, I've seen firsthand how the label makes the sufferer an enemy and encourages, not healthy and compassionate self-shielding against the behaviors that come from a place of deep needs and not knowing how to get them met, but the use of armor and even weapons of defense against the person. The titles the OP listed are cultural examples of this.

Second, in my personal experience, it is a condition that hurts the person as well as those they want to be close to. They often need and yet reject. They often cannot accept what they want and is freely offered, and often unwittingly try to take what is not offered, or cannot stop themselves. As I said, it is a disorder of boundaries. People with BPD are often wonderfully empathetic, intelligent, warm, funny, and giving. But the boundaries and social norms seem to be staggered so that they and those who love them have to navigate hidden minefields to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted. It is heartbreaking and exhausting for all parties. It's like the toxicity that was foisted upon them in their early years is a hyperbolic imitation of the very worst long-acting, time-released psychiatric med.

Psychiatry and psychology could do so much to change the continuing victimization and stigmatization of folks with these issues by changing the damn label and effectively treating the PTSD that caused it and stop blaming them. There are good practitioners out there trying to effect such changes, and those in control of the DSM reject all suggestions that would benefit rather than continually re-victimize the recipients of the label.

It is all so goddamn sad.

The end of the story with my friend is that I had to ask her to move out because I couldn't tolerate the boundary violations any longer. We lived together three different times, and each time was worse. I do not claim to have been perfect, but she knew the reasons, and she just couldn't stop herself. I miss the shit out of her humor, her compassion for those who suffer, her insights and intellect, her advice, and the sharing of her amazing talents. But if I let her back in, she takes too much, immediately. I blame those who hurt her. Through her, they hurt me too, and kept us both from the best in our relationship that we each needed, an ensured the potential could never be met, nor her abundant potential either.

Ah, so you've seen first hand what BPD can do to a person. It's not pleasant, I don't wish it on anyone. How did you "recover?"

I feel like this shell of a human being who can't seem to fit anywhere. Recovery isn't for me I've learned, things just don't get better for me. This isn't a pity party, just an observation about how effective I have been in making things better.

 

[MOUCHE41]

I have BPD and i hate it.

 

[Taran]

So I have BPD &it's driving me crazy. I don't trust myself, but what's worse is I depend on others for reassurance &still don't trust anyone completely. *sigh*

I hate that I have it &more so hate the negativity/stigma that comes with it. Considering it's creation stems from trauma, how can a person call someone will BPD evil??
I am absolutely sick of things like:

- How to Deal with Someone with BPD
- Taking your Life Back from Someone with BPD
- How to Recover After Dating Someone with BPD

We didn't choose to be traumatized, &we struggle with our own minds and the distorted self image blessed upon us by shitty parents. Yet, it us we are the ones who "choose" to act this way.

Give me a fucking break.

I have mood swings ... I'll be good in one mood and suicidal and negetive in other....it's hell.....I went to doctor and he told it's a regular case of bipolar..but the problem is I don't have something like manic phases or depressionface for days and days and stuff which regular bipolar people face....I have fast mood swings in hours basis...what is the thing with me? I guess I have borderline disorder..I'm not able to differentiate

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I have mood swings ... I'll be good in one mood and suicidal and negetive in other....it's hell.....I went to doctor and he told it's a regular case of bipolar..but the problem is I don't have something like manic phases or depressionface for days and days and stuff which regular bipolar people face....I have fast mood swings in hours basis...what is the thing with me? I guess I have borderline disorder..I'm not able to differentiate

If you're finding that if "feels" like bipolar in the sense of mood swings from one end of the spectrum to the other but happens hourly or so, &you're not feeling one mood for a week to weeks at a time, then yes- I would say you have BPD.

I would pushback, don't let them tell you what you're feeling, especially if you know they're wrong. Oftentimes DRs are reluctant to give this diagnosis bc of the work that comes with trying to manage &treat it. Bipolar is easier to treat on paper, there are medications they know work &it's more "predictable" so to speak. BPD seems to follow no rhyme or reason.

Hope this helps, good luck.

p.s. Look up the DSM-V it gives a breakdown of how psychs diagnosis MH disorders and list the criteria for each.

 

[noko]

My mind is a mess and I can't remember now how I came up with this, but I had a theory in past that BPD is caused by excessive amounts of prostaglandins. This can be easily fixed if it's true, you could try taking an ibuprofen and see how you feel. There has also been a study done about how over the counter painkillers affect emotional distress, link . I hope this helps.

 

[BPD Barbie]

BPD and Bipolar here. What a shit show of a diagnosis it is.

 

[BFishy]

I had a best friend who suffered from classic symptoms of BPD. She truly suffered. It is, imo, a condition of disordered boundaries caused by early and repeated severe boundary violations.

In my experience, there are two extraordinarily sad things about the condition.

First, the DSM description makes the person wrong. I worked in community mental health, I've seen firsthand how the label makes the sufferer an enemy and encourages, not healthy and compassionate self-shielding against the behaviors that come from a place of deep needs and not knowing how to get them met, but the use of armor and even weapons of defense against the person. The titles the OP listed are cultural examples of this.

Second, in my personal experience, it is a condition that hurts the person as well as those they want to be close to. They often need and yet reject. They often cannot accept what they want and is freely offered, and often unwittingly try to take what is not offered, or cannot stop themselves. As I said, it is a disorder of boundaries. People with BPD are often wonderfully empathetic, intelligent, warm, funny, and giving. But the boundaries and social norms seem to be staggered so that they and those who love them have to navigate hidden minefields to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted. It is heartbreaking and exhausting for all parties. It's like the toxicity that was foisted upon them in their early years is a hyperbolic imitation of the very worst long-acting, time-released psychiatric med.

Psychiatry and psychology could do so much to change the continuing victimization and stigmatization of folks with these issues by changing the damn label and effectively treating the PTSD that caused it and stop blaming them. There are good practitioners out there trying to effect such changes, and those in control of the DSM reject all suggestions that would benefit rather than continually re-victimize the recipients of the label.

It is all so goddamn sad.

The end of the story with my friend is that I had to ask her to move out because I couldn't tolerate the boundary violations any longer. We lived together three different times, and each time was worse. I do not claim to have been perfect, but she knew the reasons, and she just couldn't stop herself. I miss the shit out of her humor, her compassion for those who suffer, her insights and intellect, her advice, and the sharing of her amazing talents. But if I let her back in, she takes too much, immediately. I blame those who hurt her. Through her, they hurt me too, and kept us both from the best in our relationship that we each needed, an ensured the potential could never be met, nor her abundant potential either.

I feel all of your pain. I was pulled in close and when my love was at its peak I hot pushed away and ultimately thrown away. I had to have her leave for my own wellbeing because it was toxic to me and everyone in my household.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Ah, so you've seen first hand what BPD can do to a person. It's not pleasant, I don't wish it on anyone. How did you "recover?"

Thanks for the understanding. I don't wish it on anyone either. I "recovered" (haha, I see what you did there ) by acceptance that I cannot change it; by stopping myself returning to the slot machine that I and she will ever get the elusive jackpot of a healthy, balanced, and mutually rewarding relationship; and the book Boundaries is an enormous help. I recommend it for BPD and non-BPD folks alike. But I will always miss her and mourn the loss. I at least have some great memories that still make me laugh.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

Thanks for the understanding. I don't wish it on anyone either. I "recovered" (haha, I see what you did there ) by acceptance that I cannot change it; by stopping myself returning to the slot machine that I and she will ever get the elusive jackpot of a healthy, balanced, and mutually rewarding relationship; and the book Boundaries is an enormous help. I recommend it for BPD and non-BPD folks alike. But I will always miss her and mourn the loss. I at least have some great memories that still make me laugh.

Couldn't resist, just wanted to keep things light. :)

&I hear what you mean, I don't envy the person who dates a borderline whose in throws of their disorder.

I don't know how old you are, or when this occurred, but I have seen changes in the way that I process my thoughts from when I younger (early 20s) till now (30) &I can say that I would be much easier to date now than before, although I have a feeling it would still be challenging (been out of the "game" voluntarily for 2years now). In the past the elapsed time between impulse &action was MUCH shorter (Also have ADD) &I would imagine that would have made me a terror, so to speak.

With that said, I am glad that you're able to remember your friend for who she was &how she positively affected you, in lieu of remembering how the disorder disrupted her ability to rationalize her emotions or thoughts. That's not easy &it take a big person to set aside those instances to see the person beneath.

Oh &I might just give that book a read, who's the author?

BPD and Bipolar here. What a shit show of a diagnosis it is.

I can't imagine what that must feel like living with both of those diagnoses. I can't imagine it being pleasant at all.

If I may ask, what does that it mean to you having both? How do you find it presents itself in your life? &How are you able to manage both, one is a roller coaster, let alone two mood disorders... how do you do it? Where do you find the strength?

I apologize if this is invasive, it's just that my interest in MH started a long time ago (teens )when I went online to find out what was wrong with me. So to have the opportunity to ask someone directly about it, I feel oddly giddy &intrigued.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Couldn't resist, just wanted to keep things light. :)

&I hear what you mean, I don't envy the person who dates a borderline whose in throws of their disorder.

I don't know how old you are, or when this occurred, but I have seen changes in the way that I process my thoughts from when I younger (early 20s) till now (30) &I can say that I would be much easier to date now than before, although I have a feeling it would still be challenging (been out of the "game" voluntarily for 2years now). In the past the elapsed time between impulse &action was MUCH shorter (Also have ADD) &I would imagine that would have made me a terror, so to speak.

With that said, I am glad that you're able to remember your friend for who she was &how she positively affected you, in lieu of remembering how the disorder disrupted her ability to rationalize her emotions or thoughts. That's not easy &it take a big person to set aside those instances to see the person beneath. ♥

Oh &I might just give that book a read, who's the author?

We were friends for over 10 years, beginning in my early 30s. I'm now 48.

She was also a recovering alcoholic from long before I met her. I've lived through a lot of dry drunks and the manipulative behaviors that go with it. I remember all her baggage and behaviors (including challenges rationalizing emotions and thoughts), and I remember all her good. The former keeps my boundary up, the latter maintains the compassion and love, and preserves the good memories.

Props for your self-awareness and ongoing maturing and growth.

The book with author names is in this thread, along with some others I've found particularly helpful in dealing with childhood control and abuse (note in the descriptions how I'm conscious of the use and impacts of labeling):

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resources-for-learning-boundaries.30500/

 

[Suicidefantasy]

I have BPD too. I just joined the site I apologize if this isn't how I post a reply I'm not great at this stuff. Dealing with BPD is the most painful thing in my life, and to my understanding painful to those around me as well. If I could take away the BPD I would. On the other hand I'm a human lie detector so I never have to let my guard down to know if someone will hurt me..

 

[SimplyTopHat]

My mind is a mess and I can't remember now how I came up with this, but I had a theory in past that BPD is caused by excessive amounts of prostaglandins. This can be easily fixed if it's true, you could try taking an ibuprofen and see how you feel. There has also been a study done about how over the counter painkillers affect emotional distress, link . I hope this helps.

I see the journal you've posted &I'm wondering, what prompted the belief in OTC pain killers. It's an interesting view.

We were friends for over 10 years, beginning in my early 30s. I'm now 48.

She was also a recovering alcoholic from long before I met her. I've lived through a lot of dry drunks and the manipulative behaviors that go with it. I remember all her baggage and behaviors (including challenges rationalizing emotions and thoughts), and I remember all her good. The former keeps my boundary up, the latter maintains the compassion and love, and preserves the good memories.

Props for your self-awareness and ongoing maturing and growth.

The book with author names is in this thread, along with some others I've found particularly helpful in dealing with childhood control and abuse (note in the descriptions how I'm conscious of the use and impacts of labeling):

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resources-for-learning-boundaries.30500/

I appreciate your conscientiousness when choosing your words. It means more than you may know, especially for a sensitive person who is greatly affected by the words/phrases &body language of others.

&I thank you- every day is a struggle, &I am genuinely surprised I've made it to 30. When my thought was always that I would be dead by 18.

I'll be sure to give it a read, thanks again for sharing your story.

I have BPD too. I just joined the site I apologize if this isn't how I post a reply I'm not great at this stuff. Dealing with BPD is the most painful thing in my life, and to my understanding painful to those around me as well. If I could take away the BPD I would. On the other hand I'm a human lie detector so I never have to let my guard down to know if someone will hurt me..

Welcome to SS, though I am sad for you, and whatever lead to you here.

I second your sentiment &can empathize with the difficulties that come with BPD.

Oh! I'm a human lie detector too, it's the "superpower" we walked away with as a result of predicting lies & avoiding abuse or neglect. It offered protection when we were children. Now much of those same defence mechanisms have become the schemas by which we protect ourselves &can seem maladaptive or out of place in a world of adulthood.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@SimplyTopHat

I appreciate your conscientiousness when choosing your words. It means more than you may know, especially for a sensitive person who is greatly affected by the words/phrases &body language of others.

I am so honored by that. Thank you.

Sending lots of compassion and affection, and cheering you on.

 

[Yomyom]

I never went To a psychologist, so I was never diagnosed, but read 6 months ago The symptoms, and I was in shok, it's like all my life in this Disease, so impulsive and so alone

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I never went To a psychologist, so I was never diagnosed, but read 6 months ago The symptoms, and I was in shok, it's like all my life in this Disease, so impulsive and so alone

It can feel like such a relief to find this diagnosis, for me it offered the answers to why I always felt other.

Have you been able to find comfort in knowing it's not you yourself that's flawed, but the sum of your circumstances during childhood? What are your thoughts about getting an official diagnosis?

 

[wildmoon]

I have BPD. A lot of people do not know what it is when I mention it and some who do know about have sterotypical ideas of what it is and think we are all like Glenn close from Fatal Attraction. There are some channels on youtube who discuss it and they are not very kind. it's a spectum disorder, some do not realise that we do not all present the same. It's really hard to live with, like the poster above I was diagnosed late. The best thing about diagnosis was the relief of knowing what the issue was. I always knew it was more than just depression and previous doctors had never picked up on it.

 

[Yomyom]

It can feel like such a relief to find this diagnosis, for me it offered the answers to why I always felt other.

Have you been able to find comfort in knowing it's not you yourself that's flawed, but the sum of your circumstances during childhood? What are your thoughts about getting an official diagnosis?

I have no reason to get diagnosis Because my cause of suicide is not related to the disorder.
When I understood it, there was a quite in my head for a moment, like big peace.
But I don't think it changed something

I do hope to get exemption of hell on a mental basis, it worked for me in the military at least ...

 

[wildmoon]

I notice the question: have you dated anyone with BPD..no, but I attract a hell of a lot of narcissists!

 

[Cleanrabbit12]

Yes, it's silly how people treat those with bpd. I've never been diagnosed with it but I have read up on it and do see that people treat it unfairly
Peace/hugs❤

Yes, it's silly how people treat those with bpd. I've never been diagnosed with it but I have read up on it and do see that people treat it unfairly
Peace/hugs❤

I have it and know how you feel

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I have BPD. A lot of people do not know what it is when I mention it and some who do know about have sterotypical ideas of what it is and think we are all like Glenn close from Fatal Attraction. There are some channels on youtube who discuss it and they are not very kind. it's a spectum disorder, some do not realise that we do not all present the same. It's really hard to live with, like the poster above I was diagnosed late. The best thing about diagnosis was the relief of knowing what the issue was. I always knew it was more than just depression and previous doctors had never picked up on it.

I agree with you in that. There are far too many people who wish to have an opinion on how to treat a borderline or how we operate, but these same people have met one person &assume they know us all. It's disgusting. While they are entitled to their feelings I believe it's wrong to judge people as a whole bc one person was "irrational," or "manipulative."

How do you navigate telling people nowadays?

I have no reason to get diagnosis Because my cause of suicide is not related to the disorder.
When I understood it, there was a quite in my head for a moment, like big peace.
But I don't think it changed something

I do hope to get exemption of hell on a mental basis, it worked for me in the military at least ...

I'm sorry to hear that discovering this diagnosis didn't offer you any relief. *hugs*

I don't know if I'm following this train of thoughts correctly, what do you mean by getting an exemption?

I notice the question: have you dated anyone with BPD..no, but I attract a hell of a lot of narcissists!

I appreciate your taking time to comment, and I'm curious if you're likening dating a borderline with dating a narcissist.

Why do you think it is that narcissists are drawn to you?

 

[Yomyom]

I'm sorry to hear that discovering this diagnosis didn't offer you any relief. *h

I don't know if I'm following this train of thoughts correctly, what do you mean by getting an exemption?

Sarcasm, I got a exemption from the army On a mental basis (mostly anxiety and depression according To a military social worker (
So I hope hell also have this kind of exemption

 

[wildmoon]

I agree with you in that. There are far too many people who wish to have an opinion on how to treat a borderline or how we operate, but these same people have met one person &assume they know us all. It's disgusting. While they are entitled to their feelings I believe it's wrong to judge people as a whole bc one person was "irrational," or "manipulative."

How do you navigate telling people nowadays?

I appreciate your taking time to comment, and I'm curious if you're likening dating a borderline with dating a narcissist.

Why do you think it is that narcissists are drawn to you?

I came across a guy who dated a lady with BPD and now he says all BPD women are horrible and anyone who is thinking about dating somebody with BPD should stay away from them. That's totally unfair and disgusting.

And no, I was definitely not comparing the two at all. The question was have people dated somebody with BPD and I answered no. I just added that I seem to attract narcissists, because the topic was about dating people and I thought I would share that information.

Why do I attract them? I actually heard that it is not uncommon for NPD and BPD to have relatonships. Maybe because I have a lot of empathy but also, because my father is a narcissist and so, it is something in me that finds them. This is something I have learned to be very careful of because narcissistic abuse is not something I ever want to experience again.

I am not sure , when it comes to telling people I just tell people I feel I can talk to and others, I would mever consider it. It really depends. Yourself?

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I came across a guy who dated a lady with BPD and now he says all BPD women are horrible and anyone who is thinking about dating somebody with BPD should stay away from them. That's totally unfair and disgusting.

And no, I was definitely not comparing the two at all. The question was have people dated somebody with BPD and I answered no. I just added that I seem to attract narcissists, because the topic was about dating people and I thought I would share that information.

Why do I attract them? I actually heard that it is not uncommon for NPD and BPD to have relatonships. Maybe because I have a lot of empathy but also, because my father is a narcissist and so, it is something in me that finds them. This is something I have learned to be very careful of because narcissistic abuse is not something I ever want to experience again.

I am not sure , when it comes to telling people I just tell people I feel I can talk to and others, I would mever consider it. It really depends. Yourself?

Ugh. That man needs to be stopped. That hurts my soul- right down to my core.

Excuse my defensiveness, I was wry bc I thought you were likening Borderline women to Narcissists. Fundamentally they are different, &I find a lot of people use that term to describe someone who is simply self centred. So I got defensive.

Sorry to hear that you've been in relationships like that. I can't imagine what that would have been like/meant for you. :/ I thank you for explaining your perspective.

At this point my inner circle knows. Closest friends from high school &ppl who i truest deeply. Though it does take a substantial amount of time before I feel comfortable enough thtg