![ReverendGreen](/data/avatars/l/8/8921.jpg?1561912719)
ReverendGreen
Sleepy
- Jun 27, 2019
- 123
I can't stand most food, used to be severely underweight until I started forcing myself to eat something everyday. Usually just pasta though.
I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of it.
This is exactly what im going through and its a terrible terrible feeling. I had anorexia nervosa and bulimia from the age of 12 to the age of 15. Once out of it, the problem didnt left; it changed into something else. I realized i hated my body for how skinny it was so i tried everything possible to gain weight. It became an obsession i would say. The "skinny" body was out of fashion; at that point you had to be thick to be considered beautiful. Eventually i did gained weight and was pretty happy with my body, but i would track every gram and calorie to make sure mu thick body stayed that way. I knew it was an eating disorder, but i would tell myself "no, only people who want to be skinny have eating disorders and i want the opposite; so im fine."... Everything was fine, untill i moved in with my fiance, who constantly made comments about what i was or wasnt eating and he made me feel like im nothing but a fat cow. I remember him being extremely upset about me eating a frozen pizza. Another time about me eating 2 sandwiches. I now barely eat anything to lose weight again? Im at the point where i've decided to take my life so i could care less about being skinny to be honest...Anorexic at 15-16, at some point became more bulimic (starved not puked), recovered a bit but now it's binge eating/emotional over eating, which I hate most probably, because even though I'm healthier than I was, I'm quite fat.