Anyone else going soon and terrified?

[Hope:-)]

I am going soon and I'm terrified. I am in the process of stockpiling everything I need and things are moving pretty fast. I decided to move the date I am going forward a bit. I am mostly fine during the day, but wake up terrified. Anyone else in the same position? Going soon and terrified?

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

Hello fellow sufferer. I am starting to get intense waves of SI thinking about the inevitable in a few days. I hope you can come to peace with this decision and that death welcomes us kindly.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I plan to go soon, but its more despair that CTBing is my best option.

 

[PeacefulDreams]

I'm only a little scared, because I don't have much courage that it will work anyway. I'm gonna have to ctb sooner or later.

 

[hellispink]

I am going very soon. I feel calm sometimes, but other times I get very anxious and scared. I need to be gone.

 

[y'ffre]

No, but If I would consider it, I would be terrified. There is an interesting paradox here for me.
If I feel terrible and if I can't find the strength to continue my life, I consider suicide, and suicide terrifies me. If I don't feel bad and I can find the strength to continue, suicide doesn't terrify me that much but I have no desire for it.
Very cool indeed

 

[Hope:-)]

Yes. major si. And I feel like explaining to some people before I go why I am so unhappy but there's no point- they'll just say I need medication. The people I want to explain things to are never going to understand anyway. I feel like writing them a letter but given the things they have said and done it will probably be pointless. Will just keep checking in here I guess. I am a bit freaked out by how different all the sn methods are here. but I will do my best, Just gonna follow stans guide precisely. I've heard the terror subsides a bit. I'm really hoping that's true as this is horrible.

 

[Tiger]

i have decided the date it's august 23rd, i have got core stuff i.e sn but yet gather other small things like weighing machine,50ml beaker,some medications mentioned in S G. i guess i'm going little sooner than you all.

 

[jcksonb22]

yes soon. im not scared, just very depressed. i believe there is no afterlife.

 

[Hope:-)]

Feel a little calmer now. Just wish I had n. I wouldn't be here now if I did. Scared of my method (sn) which doesn't help, but yeah, a little calmer.

 

[rationaltake]

I totally understand. Ignore me if it doesn't help but I sometimes find deep breathing calming.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It is one thing to fantasize about this and another to actually go through with it… I sympathize

 

[Muse]

I am. Just a few days. I am in pain and afraid

 

[Hope:-)]

I totally understand. Ignore me if it doesn't help but I sometimes find deep breathing calming.

That is helpful. Thankyou. It's easy to forget these things.

And yes, now I know I'm actually going to do it, there's no me rolling around 'I want to die' like when I was younger. Now, its just light of day practical planning and it can turn your blood cold sometimes.

I am. Just a few days. I am in pain and afraid

Sorry. We posted at the same time. Is there anything we can do to help?xx

 

[Muse]

That is helpful. Thankyou. It's easy to forget these things.

And yes, now I know I'm actually going to do it, there's no me rolling around 'I want to die' like when I was younger. Now, its just light of day practical planning and it can turn your blood cold sometimes.

Sorry. We posted at the same time. Is there anything we can do to help?xx

I am desperate. Everything keeps going bad. I just need a hug and promise that all will be ok. I am terrified.

 

[Hope:-)]

I am desperate. Everything keeps going bad. I just need a hug and promise that all will be ok. I am terrified.

If its any consolation I can definitely relate. Everything WILL be ok in one way or another. Are you sure this is something you want to do?xx

 

[Muse]

If its any consolation I can definitely relate. Everything WILL be ok in one way or another. Are you sure this is something you want to do?xx

I am sure. I want to Do it for so long. But I have SN since may or April. I am tired of all these bad news in my life. One after another.

 

[Hope:-)]

I am sure. I want to Do it for so long. But I have SN since may or April. I am tired of all these bad news in my life. One after another.

I relate. One thing after another. I hope you find a way out whatever that looks like to you xx

 

[Hope:-)]

If everything goes as planned with getting the meds I have decided I will go within the next month. I am very scared and sad and angry that it has come to this. If I'm honest I do have anger towards certain other people about things but they will never understand why so I'm just going to cut up my money between people and call it a day. Feeling lonely.