Anyone else giving in to alcohol?

[torturedbylife]

Since this quarantine started I began to be more and more attracted to alcohol. In the past I used to drink only at special occasions, now I do it several times a week and I'm worrying that I will get addicted soon. But what can I do since I have no support and the world and its people are too harsh to me? All the coping methods I used to have don't work anymore. Not even my favorite game helps me anymore. Alcohol is the only thing that remains. It kinda numbs my suffering and negative feelings and I feel a weird sensation like flying. I laugh more after I drink and to be honest it adds a little bit of color to this black and white world. So it's no wonder why I'm so attracted to it. But I worry that soon it will dominate in my life and things will become even worse because I wouldn't be able to do anything because of it.
I hide my alcohol from my parents because they don't let me drink anything. They don't let me do anything actually and I feel like in jail here. Anyways, I used to buy one bottle of brandy per week but thats not enough anymore for me so tomorrow when I'll go shopping I'll buy two. Too bad alcohol is expensive. Every okay thing in this life is either expensive or not allowed.
Anyways sorry for my rambling, I'm just wondering if there are others on here who can relate about becoming addicted to alcohol.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I relapsed in early 2020, yes, but was able to keep it somewhat under control. The first few weeks are always great, but as tolerance builds, my baseline mood becomes lower and the misery begins.

If you want to stop, buy some valerian and chamomile tea and treat yourself with some soda instead. But the pain you drank away will catch up with you it you stop – at least that has been my experience.

 

[_Minsk]

I also feel being more attracted to Alcohol since Corona and my life in general has changed a lot to the bad...
I usually try to stay away from alcohol, but the more i started to hate my existence, the less i want to care...

 

[Reiraku]

I also started drinking out of depression. I drank almost no alcohol at all for like 24 years, but lately cracked and numb myself with alcohol depending on how shitty I feel. Because I have had almost no experience a glass of wine was enough to make me tipsy and two to make me drunk. I prefer sangria and wine to harder liquors because they go down way, way easier. Some weekdays I even started drinking at 4PM only to throw up on the following morning and some days I brought alcohol to work. Even so, I do not really fear to get addicted. Think of all those teenagers that get shitfaced every weekend, I don't think you get addicted to alcohol easily.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

You are not the only one, you can be sure. I'm starting to get addicted to alcohol too. Before I had other addictions (and maybe I still have), but I had horrible problems and I had to release or I would be without a house or interned in a rehabilitation (which are hell in my country). Now when my days are unbearable, I run for a drink. I think we all need something for escape to reality.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Yeah I usually only got drunk 1-2 times a year with a limit of 5-6 beers before puking but for the last 6 month I have been drinking a 1-3 times a week and for a couple of months several times a week in the past the hangover would scare me away that is why I would wait so long to drink again but when I drink several times a week I have gotten used to the hangover so it doesn´t seem as bad.

I suffer from extreme apathy and anhedonia that has gotten worse by each year for the last 6 years so I have no hobbies I watch the same series over and over again because I am very picky at choosing series or movies, I like most boys have played video games ever since I was a little child and it used to be some of the most fun in the world especially when playing with friends but for years I have had no friends and have even lost my interest in gaming so with no hobbies, hopes and dreams or even emotions other than jealousy and anger alcohol gives me like 2-3% if happiness (better than zero) and it calms my anger down.

So that was the main reason I started to drink more and more because I got angry because I am a misanthrope (a person who hates humans) so the alcohol would calm me down and now I am on benzos and drinking several times a week and I don´t feel angry that much at all but my psychiatrist want me off both of things, bad idea.

But I get what you mean with this quaranteen there is nothing to do at least before that time I would go to meeting with psychiatrists and social workers a couple times a month and enhoying the ride there and go to a gun club 2 times a month sometimes even socializing with people there talking for up to 20 minutes if lucky so I got some socializing now I literally got nothing less than before even though it´s hard to imagine.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I get drunk constantly to escape reality. This Corona shit has just given me a good excuse.

 

[The Dark Chaos]

I can understand how it feels like when your parents don't let you do anyything. I, myself feel that I live in a home where your every step and decision is influenced by your parents. If you even call that a home. When I started to sink on depression, I started smoking hookah and even started drinking a bit with my friends and cousins but I never used to get drunk cause I eventually had to go home. Amd right now in lockdown I can neither smoke hookah or drink. So yeahh, I somewhat get you.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

You are not the only one, you can be sure. I'm starting to get addicted to alcohol too. Before I had other addictions (and maybe I still have), but I had horrible problems and I had to release or I would be without a house or interned in a rehabilitation (which are hell in my country). Now when my days are unbearable, I run for a drink. I think we all need something for escape to reality.

Imagine how many people would´ve ctb with they didn´t use drugs to calm down and also escape from reality I made a thread about it, I know a lot of people ctb because of them too but I am sure thousands of people would have ctb if they hadn´t gotten high or drunk that one day myself included; there has been days where I was ready to ctb but decided it was better to get drunk.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I get drunk constantly to escape reality. This Corona shit has just given me a good excuse.

Yep, I can relate to this

Imagine how many people would´ve ctb with they didn´t use drugs to calm down and also escape from reality I made a thread about it, I know a lot of people ctb because of them too but I am sure thousands of people would have ctb if they hadn´t gotten high or drunk that one day myself included; there has been days where I was ready to ctb but decided it was better to get drunk.

Drink keeps me going, I can live without it, but because it tends to make my happy and hyper, i lean on it at times.

 

[Arrow]

i actually have a fear of being drunk or being on drugs to be honest. the idea of being out of control over my body/words even if just slightly creeps me out.

 

[Khyber]

Same here. I always did drink maybe once or twice per week at most, but since lockdown I've been at least three days per week or even four. The first week was great fun but it's been an added depressant since then. It kind of scares me how drunk I can actually get drinking alone in the house. I spend the beginning of the week hoping for the weekend and planning what booze I'm going to purchase. Ironically drinking alone still has me waking up the fear through stupid things I continue to do when drunk.

 

[MaybeSoon]

I get drunk constantly to escape reality. This Corona shit has just given me a good excuse.

Same

 

[Jumper Geo]

No not me I'm frightened to touch it, it will kill you,

 

[K-O]

S'ALL IM SAYIN.. AND LOL AT THE VALERIAN COMMENT!..

 

[a.n.kirillov]

@Reiraku

Even so, I do not really fear to get addicted.

... that's what everyone thinks. Stop now if you can. Go to r/cripplingalcoholism and look how fucked up these people are.

Good luck

S'ALL IM SAYIN.. AND LOL AT THE VALERIAN COMMENT!..

View attachment 34048

Why lol? It works for mild withdrawals. It's GABAergic. It won't work for hardcore alcoholics of course.

i actually have a fear of being drunk or being on drugs to be honest. the idea of being out of control over my body/words even if just slightly creeps me out.

You're a lucky bastard then

 

[K-O]

HIYA JUST LOL CAUSE MY DAD OCCASIONALLY RINGS MY BUZZER AND WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR THERES A BIG VALERIAN BOTTLE SITTING ON THE DOOR MAT :)

 

[SpareWheel]

Probably less. I stay in more so I'm not going to the pub. I've had a few 4 packs of Stella since lockdown, but being an ex big drinker, it doesn't even touch the sides. I can guarantee it's turning some people that used to only drink socially into problem drinkers though, and the longer it goes on the deeper into the abyss they'll go.

If pubs end up closing permanently because of this, there's going to be a real alcoholism upsurge, drinking socially a few times a week is different ball game to doing it at home. It goes from being a treat and a way of keeping up with friends into a solitary habit that soon becomes a problem.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

HIYA JUST LOL CAUSE MY DAD OCCASIONALLY RINGS MY BUZZER AND WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR THERES A BIG VALERIAN BOTTLE SITTING ON THE DOOR MAT :)

Why do you only spell with caps-lock on? It´s very hard for me to read your comments, are you trying to stand out or is your keyboard broken?

 

[K-O]

sorry

Why do you only spell with caps-lock on? It´s very hard for me to read your comments, are you trying to stand out or is your keyboard broken?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

sorry

I´m not trying to be a dick it´s just with some of your longer posts maybe only 5-6 sentences I have to give up because it´s hard for me to read whereas I don´t mind reading long post that have are practically a whole A4 page.

 

[FusRohDracarys]

If I lived alone, I probably would. But maybe once or twice a month I'll binge on a bottle of wine or vodka or whatever's on sale. As I put it to my partner yesterday, my head feels like I'm walking up several flights of stairs carrying several heavy packages and the booze offers me that precious two minutes at the landing to catch my breath before I have to keep going. But yes, I've worried about alcohol dependency before. I generally try to avoid it when I'm doing okay so that I don't. Alcoholism runs in my family.

 

[K-O]

I´m not trying to be a dick it´s just with some of your longer posts maybe only 5-6 sentences I have to give up because it´s hard for me to read whereas I don´t mind reading long post that have are practically a whole A4 page.

nah mate its fine im not always aware.. my lock was stuck n my pc is v wonky i fixed it but sometimes its maybe easier for my to read bigger letters tbh and it helps me.. im a bit slow n wobly here.. but noted. havent thoght of uts from readers pov but got complaints so i will resprct xx

 

[TheGoodGuy]

nah mate its fine im not always aware.. my lock was stuck n my pc is v wonky i fixed it but sometimes its maybe easier for my to read bigger letters tbh and it helps me.. im a bit slow n wobly here.. but noted. havent thoght of uts from readers pov but got complaints so i will resprct xx

Thanks it just messes with me because the letters are so far apart, some users also change their color and since I am colorblind I won´t read their posts I can but it takes very much concentration like if they have a very light blue on my white background I hardly can´t see it.

 

[K-O]

mate- i tend to read backwards long things- paragraph at a time..
meh..

 

[TheGoodGuy]

mate- i tend to read backwards long things- paragraph at a time..
meh..

Uh that reminds me some users also use a ridiculous amount of paragraphs like maybe 10 where each contains 1-2 sentences I can´t read that, it maybe not a problem to other members but I also got aspergers so maybe that is why I can´t stand some of these things.

 

[itsmeagain]

Since this quarantine started I began to be more and more attracted to alcohol. In the past I used to drink only at special occasions, now I do it several times a week and I'm worrying that I will get addicted soon. But what can I do since I have no support and the world and its people are too harsh to me? All the coping methods I used to have don't work anymore. Not even my favorite game helps me anymore. Alcohol is the only thing that remains. It kinda numbs my suffering and negative feelings and I feel a weird sensation like flying. I laugh more after I drink and to be honest it adds a little bit of color to this black and white world. So it's no wonder why I'm so attracted to it. But I worry that soon it will dominate in my life and things will become even worse because I wouldn't be able to do anything because of it.
I hide my alcohol from my parents because they don't let me drink anything. They don't let me do anything actually and I feel like in jail here. Anyways, I used to buy one bottle of brandy per week but thats not enough anymore for me so tomorrow when I'll go shopping I'll buy two. Too bad alcohol is expensive. Every okay thing in this life is either expensive or not allowed.
Anyways sorry for my rambling, I'm just wondering if there are others on here who can relate about becoming addicted to alcohol.

Hello lovely<3 I've had a similar experience as you! Personally, my parents have always known me as the person who never drank, so if they found out, they would think i was broken and that i couldn't fucntion,which would only breed more problems in anabusive household. Be smart about keeping your alcohol safe. If you drink, be sure that you do it out of sight. Have a spot for your alcohol, and maybe hide it under something more embarassing. Maybe some pads or tampax if you have a drawer so that if your parent wants to open/clean, you can say that you have embarassing things, or maybe something a bit... more embarassing. Yes, the idea is that you keep them out of the drawer/cabinet/whatever, but if they happen to, i guarentee they won't want to move things around.

Also be smart, wrap your bottles in cloths so that if someone rustles the drawer/stuff around it, that they won't clank or anything like that. Consider putting it in soda bottles and just say you have a secret stash....all of these things work. When in doubt, just make it something super embarrassing.

But are you okay with moderation as it stands? I've been able to use it as a kind of medication, but most times I can just blur things out and deal with it, or drink some at night until I feel good and sometimes that helps me. If you find yourself relying on it, lean off and look for other things.

I'm not sure if you mean games like DnD or board games or video games, but I've found that having a lively friend on can help perk things up, but of course if depression is too deep, it doesn't really matter sometimes. But! I play lots of Warzone recently. If you'd like to play, you can message <3

Or, ofcourse, if you just need anything at all, please message me honey. I know the pain and the confusion, I'm actually going to buy myself something tonight. just enough to get floaty and cloud my thoughts <3 maybe a bit more <3

 

[K-O]

Uh that reminds me some users also use a ridiculous amount of paragraphs like maybe 10 where each contains 1-2 sentences I can´t read that, it maybe not a problem to other members but I also got aspergers so maybe that is why I can´t stand some of these things.

thinking of it- if i post here im mostly lucid and go ofline if i want to use so i dont do anything wrong
but thinking of it i read backwards and if somethings important to me i have to take time carfuly it takes me long to reply and expres myself somewhat neer to my intentions- on line is weird.. im probably dyslectic anyway.. i read the same sentence sometimes alot.. yiisshh

 

[TheGoodGuy]

thinking of it- if i post here im mostly lucid and go ofline if i want to use so i dont do anything wrong
but thinking of it i read backwards and if somethings important to me i have to take time carfuly it takes me long to reply and expres myself somewhat neer to my intentions- on line is weird.. im probably dyslectic anyway.. i read the same sentence sometimes alot.. yiisshh

That must suck, I write a lot as you can see and even see myself as a philosopher and have written a 310 page journal which is a testament to why I seem to write a lot which you have probably noticed I hate it since most of my post are so long people really don´t wanna read them it´s easier for people to answer a quick 1-2 sentence question where they can talk about how THEY feel instead of me venting or ranting.

 

[K-O]

That must suck, I write a lot as you can see and even see myself as a philosopher and have written a 310 page journal which is a testament to why I seem to write a lot which you have probably noticed I hate it since most of my post are so long people really don´t wanna read them it´s easier for people to answer a quick 1-2 sentence question where they can talk about how THEY feel instead of me venting or ranting.

lol nah if i see something of interest i just tag it n read later.. i mean who knows what goes on behind these screens? bunch of mentals innit..
but tbh no i havent seen long posts from u? what jurnal? u may send me if u like .