Help Anyone else gain weight as a result of being suicidal?

[slushy]

I've had problems with eating healthy all my life, but as I've grown more and more suicidal it has been more difficult for me to find the motivation to refuse food and stay at a healthy weight. It feels pointless to deny myself pleasure when I plan on dying young anyway. To an extent, it is, but eating this way and putting on all this extra weight makes me feel really shitty and lethargic. If these are going to be my last few months, or if I'm strong enough to prolong things a while longer maybe my last few years at most, I want to feel good physically and make the best of my time. In the last couple days I've eaten two whole pizzas, an entire bag of frozen onion rings, an amount of ice cream so massive I can't even calculate it, a bunch of tortilla chips, half a freezer cake, and more junk food I don't even remember. It makes me feel so run down to have this extra weight on my body but it's hard staying motivated about anything, especially something so difficult. I think I might be addicted to food. Any advice

 

[houseofleaves]

It feels pointless to deny myself pleasure when I plan on dying young anyway. I want to feel good physically and make the best of my time.

This, this and this again. May i high-five you? Same situation.

 

[Celerity]

I'm bad about this too unless severe anhedonia sets in, which is when I know I'm really fucked. Watching my weight is hard when alI I want to do is drink and eat fatty, sugary foods. They tend to go hand in hand for me.

Not even sure why I care at this point because no one is going to be looking at my body except my coroner.

#look-hot-for-your-coroner
#maybe-your-coroner-is-a-hotty
#too-hot-for-life

 

[freedompass]

I hear ya, I am well overweight/obese and lack the motivation to lose weight. I'm a real foodie tho, vegan and pretty health conscious ironically, I really love cooking. It's mostly a problem for my knees at this point. I've always tended to eat on my emotions since a child. Growing up without love empathy and understanding from primary caregivers will do that I guess. Will I ever change? Maybe if the alternative is complete immobility. Crazy I know.

 

[atonofdespair24]

I lost almost 40 pounds because of it. Not in a healthy way. I did not have weight to lose, I need it.

 

[Hollowillow]

I've had problems with eating healthy all my life, but as I've grown more and more suicidal it has been more difficult for me to find the motivation to refuse food and stay at a healthy weight. It feels pointless to deny myself pleasure when I plan on dying young anyway. To an extent, it is, but eating this way and putting on all this extra weight makes me feel really shitty and lethargic. If these are going to be my last few months, or if I'm strong enough to prolong things a while longer maybe my last few years at most, I want to feel good physically and make the best of my time. In the last couple days I've eaten two whole pizzas, an entire bag of frozen onion rings, an amount of ice cream so massive I can't even calculate it, a bunch of tortilla chips, half a freezer cake, and more junk food I don't even remember. It makes me feel so run down to have this extra weight on my body but it's hard staying motivated about anything, especially something so difficult. I think I might be addicted to food. Any advice

I think you feel shitty & lethargic & greedy because you don't eat the nutrients you need to heal. I always make sure to have veggies & meat. Try a fruit buffet dipped in melted chocolate? Craving sugar means craving viramin C to heal & cope with stress.

(...).

Not even sure why I care at this point because no one is going to be looking at my body except my coroner.

#look-hot-for-your-coroner
#maybe-your-coroner-is-a-hotty
#too-hot-for-life

Hahaha, you're hilarious

 

[woe-boy]

After my breakup, I ate a lot of my feelings and relapsed on sodas and sugary drinks. I lost a ton last year, and gained back nearly all of what I lost last year. My energy level sucks because of it. Not sure if it involves my passive ideation but more along my sadness and just craving quality distractions or self-sabotage.

 

[Monique696]

Steak usually helps to get one going for another day
Diets are overrated. Rather have someone chubby and happy and satisfied than depressed over the second helping they had
Life is cruel enough
Why not enjoy some of its simple pleasures while you can

 

[Death is my goal]

i lose weight instead

 

[jhk]

I ate the same amount of food and now I am 100kg beast in young age not gonna lie.
The best resolution for that is going to gym, u don't have to be afraid to go there, you should be proud if u look massive and u go to the gym.
I would go to gym but by lack of motivation I still didn't go there

 

[PArazi]

i lose weight instead

same here

 

[Bitterman1996]

Short answer, yes because i stress eat.

Eating gives me short relief of the emptiness, for better or for worse. Emotional eating kind of ruin my body steadily, i binge eat enough to gain weight over the years now I'm obese. When i say ruined, not in an aesthetic sense but I've got to say living with a bigger body is harder for sure

 

[slushy]

Short answer, yes because i stress eat.

Eating gives me short relief of the emptiness, for better or for worse. Emotional eating kind of ruin my body steadily, i binge eat enough to gain weight over the years now I'm obese. When i say ruined, not in an aesthetic sense but I've got to say living with a bigger body is harder for sure

I feel that. I don't just stress eat though; for me any emotion is viewed as cause for food. If I'm happy, I'll eat to celebrate. When I'm upset, I'll eat food to console myself.

 

[DrekSS]

Gained and lost weight in different situations, I think in my case it had to do a lot on how the medication gave me mood-swings.

 

[CowsAreCool]

I have an opposite manifestation of the same issue. I live without a car and have to walk to the grocery store, usually once a week (about a mile) and walk my groceries back. When I get depressed, I can't bring myself to walk to the store, and find myself going days without eating, or just eating a few bites.

But at the same time, I will sometimes completely stuff myself, if I do go, when I lack the motivation to diet.

As a result my weight fluctuates significantly. In the range 30 pounds. Sometimes even medically underweight.

My advice is to create systems so that you separate yourself from junk food. Eat junk food only one day a week, and make it right before you go shopping. Then you'll shop with a full stomach and buy really healthy stuff. Then it's simple. Don't go to the store. Easy to do when you're unmotivated.

 

[jodes2]

I eat properly once a week at most when I'm depressed / suicidal so have lost a lot of weight. I barely even snack on things, just drink tonnes of milk which is probably keeping me alive while giving me high cholesterol whatever that means

 

[Littlewittlelight]

I eat properly once a week at most when I'm depressed / suicidal so have lost a lot of weight. I barely even snack on things, just drink tonnes of milk which is probably keeping me alive while giving me high cholesterol whatever that means.

I am suffering from anhedonia I think I weight like fucking 110 pounds or something at 180 cms ahh too bad for a guy it fucks I don't know but now whenever I hear from someone it's mostly their weight being on either end is not good. If you are super skinny then you just know and if you have extra pounds then too.
I hate my metabolism so much now that I don't even have proper meals I felt like it's going to waste and I can't stuff myself anymore to this extent when it doesn't help so now you know but I am holding onto it somehow. Not to forget to say girls do accept that but they sigh like damn few people are like damn lol it hurts but yeah I gotta be shut because it needs to be rewired not my outer body the insides

 

[hamvil]

It is funny, I used to stress eat when I had a job that I liked. I did not have drug, smoke or alchol to destress so food was my way. I would eat even when not hungry just to fill some time.

I lost 20 kg then gained 10, now losing weight again.

 

[Julgran]

I've had problems with eating healthy all my life, but as I've grown more and more suicidal it has been more difficult for me to find the motivation to refuse food and stay at a healthy weight. It feels pointless to deny myself pleasure when I plan on dying young anyway. To an extent, it is, but eating this way and putting on all this extra weight makes me feel really shitty and lethargic. If these are going to be my last few months, or if I'm strong enough to prolong things a while longer maybe my last few years at most, I want to feel good physically and make the best of my time. In the last couple days I've eaten two whole pizzas, an entire bag of frozen onion rings, an amount of ice cream so massive I can't even calculate it, a bunch of tortilla chips, half a freezer cake, and more junk food I don't even remember. It makes me feel so run down to have this extra weight on my body but it's hard staying motivated about anything, especially something so difficult. I think I might be addicted to food. Any advice

My weight increased from 63 kg / 138 lb to 94 kg / 207 lb due to over-eating and drinking over a three-year period.

Now I have ceased drinking alcohol, but the weight is still there, so I'll need to start exercising quite heavily to remove the weight.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

No, i think it's because although I'm depressed and not very physically active anymore because of the lethargy that comes with depression, this is balanced out by the fact that i don't have much of an appetite now because of anhedonia.

But comfort eating is a more prevalent symptom of atypical depression so it's definitely not uncommon for people to struggle with being overweight.

 

[Arrow]

No.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Yeah, I've gained so much weight because I frequently get in moods where I just don't care about what I eat because I don't plan to live very long. It doesn't help that it sends my blood sugar out of control either, sigh.

 

[Night_Crew]

Yes - I had always been okay weight-wise (I could eat anything) until I started taking Quetiapine, Sertraline and staying in all day. I'm around 14 stone (6ft 1) so pretty chunky. Now I'm too ashamed for anyone I once knew to see me.