Help Anyone else finding it really difficult and shitty

[plough22]

I know people on here are finding life hard and difficult. I'm here in 2021 self harming. I can't seem to be able to control my emotions and thoughts. Mornings are the worst time, I love the middle of the night as it's neither the previous night/following morning. I hate what my life has become. I hate who I've become. I've learned to hide my feelings as people get sick of listening, tell you to cop on. Hide my feelings but not the scars on my wrist/temple/back of my hand. I can't even have knives or anything sharpe. That's sad. I never use to be like this, 4 years ago my life changed for the worst and my mental slide due to lies/untruths. I don't know how long more I can do it for.
I want and wish death, still need that push. I need to know that I'll succeed. I see hanging but I need strength bravery and the push, one more to send me over the edge. Alcohol would help, I think of the ways that would advance my success.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

This is the worst year this planet has seen in a while. Anyone who suffered before surely suffered this year. Don't hate yourself, you have done your best and have been coping with a lot. Morningscand nightscare the same for me too. So much so it almost rules my life with crazy sleeping patterns.i think we're just meant to keep surviving as best we can

 

[IWantToSleep]

I think we all find life difficult in our own way, that's why we're on this forum, you're not alone.