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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,280
Dying from infection, sepsis, organ failure, cancer, etc seems so much worse than jumping.
 
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hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
i don't wanna die of old age, watching myself begin to wrinkle & wither away doesn't sound appealing @ all. my grandpa told me that sometimes he'd scare himself in the morning when he went to the bathroom, bc he didn't expect to see some old man looking back at him in the mirror. i don't ever want to know what that's like :p

selfishly, i sometimes wish to get cancer or some terminal illness, so that i could apply for MAID.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,564
Yes of course and this is why it's hellish how humans do all they can to make peaceful suicide methods inaccessible, humans truly are the worst species with how many of them want others to die painful, slow deaths. So harmfully imposing existence in the first place even know there is no limit as to how much one can suffer is criminal to me as if one never existed they wouldn't have to die at all.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,710
Yep, natural death sounds really painful, especially old age. That said, the current available suicide methods are painful too
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,280
Yep, natural death sounds really painful, especially old age. That said, the current available suicide methods are painful too
No. Jumping is painless if you jump from high enough. Hanging is painless I've heard if you do it right.
 
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R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,344
If I had the life I envisioned for my self and I wasn't suicidal, I wouldn't really have minded the whole old age and dying of old age thing.
 
Silent Raindrops

Silent Raindrops

The Darkness Awaits Me
Feb 3, 2024
263
I had to go to the DMV last week to renew my license, and while I was waiting my turn, I was watching ads and stuff on a monitor.

One popped up saying they were preparing a parade for a woman's 116th birthday.

No way in hell I would want to live to be that age. I'm just about 54 now, I don't want to live another 62 years.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,280
I had to go to the DMV last week to renew my license, and while I was waiting my turn, I was watching ads and stuff on a monitor.

One popped up saying they were preparing a parade for a woman's 116th birthday.

No way in hell I would want to live to be that age. I'm just about 54 now, I don't want to live another 62 years.
Eventually, suicide won't be possible. Then you'll live forever with no retirement
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,297
I've always wanted to have control over my own death, but I assumed I would be making that decision when I was much older than I am now.
 
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Silent Raindrops

Silent Raindrops

The Darkness Awaits Me
Feb 3, 2024
263
Eventually, suicide won't be possible. Then you'll live forever with no retirement
Well I guess I better get moving before the bus stops making it's rounds! 😁😁
 
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onbekend

onbekend

Experienced
Jan 14, 2024
262
Yeah, I hate the entire idea that I am going to be gradually carried away by something that's out of your control, Letting your body rot because you can't do anything about it. Whether it's Cancer, Alzheimer's, Heart Attack, or something much worse, it doesn't matter. They're ultimately much worse options then doing it yourself, quickly and painlessly.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,280
Yeah, I hate the entire idea that I am going to be gradually carried away by something that's out of your control, Letting your body rot because you can't do anything about it. Whether it's Cancer, Alzheimer's, Heart Attack, or something much worse, it doesn't matter. They're ultimately much worse options then doing it yourself, quickly and painlessly.
I think that is the best motivator. Avoiding a worse suffering that's out of your control. Sure there could be good times from now til then, but those good times won't matter when your body decides it's time to expire.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
8,857
I find the thought of getting old to be terrible. Old age is something that I never want to have to experience for myself. It terrifies me, I would hate to have wrinkles, get withered and shriveled, and become a shell of my former self. I would hate for my physical and mental faculties and health to decline. My goal is to die young so that I can bypass aging. Aging is just the precursor to death anyways, so why not die while still young? I would hate to get Alzheimer's or dementia. I'd rather die. I'd hate to die of old age, I'd rather have control of my own death on my own terms, and decide when I'm going to die.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,280
I find the thought of getting old to be terrible. My goal is to die young so that I can bypass aging. Aging is just the precursor to death anyways, so why not die while still young? I would hate to get Alzheimer's or dementia. I'd rather die.
I wanted to live until middle age because people can still look good until then, but after that, the body starts to resemble swollen fruit.
 
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kawaiiphantom

kawaiiphantom

I gently open the door
Feb 1, 2024
301
Yeah I am scared of that stuff, because with suicide I can choose how I go out and do it on my own terms, picking my own method. I can also choose what time/day I die, and make my last day/meal on earth however I want it to be, instead of being in a hospital
 
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Lynx.

Lynx.

Member
Sep 28, 2022
77
I find the thought of getting old to be terrible. Old age is something that I never want to have to experience for myself. It terrifies me, I would hate to have wrinkles, get withered and shriveled, and become a shell of my former self. I would hate for my physical and mental faculties and health to decline. My goal is to die young so that I can bypass aging. Aging is just the precursor to death anyways, so why not die while still young? I would hate to get Alzheimer's or dementia. I'd rather die. I'd hate to die of old age, I'd rather have control of my own death on my own terms, and decide when I'm going to die.
This reminds me of a quote by Emil Cioran, from his book 'The Trouble With Being Born', which goes like this:

'When people come to me saying they want to kill themselves, I tell them, "What's your rush? You can kill yourself any time you like. So calm down. Suicide is a positive act." And they do calm down.'

Cioran, although pessimistic, and with suicidal ideation, never commited to the act of suicide, dying from dementia at an old age.

Half of me agrees with the quote - there's no rush, you can take your time, but half of me is panicking and thinking about all the scenarios in which this silly game called life can go extremely wrong. And some day one of those scenarios will be true, it's just a matter of time.

I suffer from OCD, and I obsess over my health constantly. My tolerance for suffering is very low, and since life is suffering, I'm quite unfit for it.

My fear is that I'll end up postponing the act of CTB until one day tragedy finally strikes and the door for CTB is closed, just like Cioran did.

I wish I wasn't like this, and I wish I could function "normally", whatever that means, but even then, it's just a matter of time until life rips everything apart - so why not rip life apart before it can do it's thing?

At this point I'm just ramling. But definitely, CTB is a more dignified way to leave than alzheimer, dementia, cancer or any other hellish condition.
 
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cryone

cryone

Experienced
Nov 23, 2023
201
kind of. i mean, the death itself is much worse but at least w/ those illnesses you can have loved ones who support n stay with you during your last moments. i often wish i would get cancer n die b/c of those reasons. dying by suicide is very lonely.