Help Anyone else feeling very close to ending it?

[Hellish Ore]

I just can't take it anymore. My mind and body are against me.

 

[DoubleUp8]

I'm planning hunger strike today. Been difficult to start cuz I get tempted by food but I gotta be strong and do this. It is the 1 way everyone actually has a right to die. Constitutionally protected form of protest in United States and globally recognized as a human right. Also noble and heroic way to die. Just takes a while and strong will.

 

[Dayrain]

@DoubleUp8 I love your profile picture. Is it your kitten?

 

[DoubleUp8]

@DoubleUp8 I love your profile picture. Is it your kitten?

No. It's just a photo downloaded from the Internet. 80 percent probability it's a male. 80 percent of red cats are male. 90 percent of calicos are female. Cat genetics.

 

[Infinite Solipsist]

Constitutionally protected form of protest in United States and globally recognized as a human right.

I'm not so sure that they'd see it that way if it was decided your hunger strike is for intentionally self-destructive psychological reasons. You'll likely end up getting sent to a mental institution where they'll force feed you and possibly put you in a (medically induced*) coma to feed you if they have to.

 

[DoubleUp8]

I'm not so sure that they'd see it that way if it was decided your hunger strike is for intentionally self-destructive psychological reasons. You'll likely end up getting sent to a mental institution where they'll force feed you and possibly put you in a (medically induced*) coma to feed you if they have to.

I have b4 had them commit this human rights violation but when went to court after 72 hour deal, the court affirmed my constitutional right under the 1st amendment and I actually believe this is God's plan for me so I have 2 pillars of the 1st amendment for support. The court bought everything I was selling and ordered my immediate release. If I could just find a lawyer to sue the sons of bitches could probably get a lot of money for a proven human rights violation. But I have been unable to find 1 willing to take them on. Not many (if any) lawyers want to. That's why the arrogant cocksuckers get away with the human rights abuses they routinely commit.
But I have read U.S. supreme court hunger strike decisions and absolutely it's constitutionally protected form of protest. That's why I would love to find a lawyer to take them on.

 

[unabletocope]

Yes

 

[Infinite Solipsist]

But I have read U.S. supreme court hunger strike decisions and absolutely it's constitutionally protected form of protest. That's why I would love to find a lawyer to take them on.

There very well may be some Saul Goodman-type lawyers out there who would happily take this on. I have no experience dealing with anything like this but I imagine you'll probably go through 50 lawyers before you find one. Maybe reach out to some of the bigger regional law firms that aggressively push advertising? Their fees will likely be steep but you'd be better off than you were before. That and you'll spit some metaphorical acid in the face of the bastards responsible.

 

[DoubleUp8]

I have probably tried around 50 phone calls altogether different law offices no luck. I am not the most patient person and get discouraged too easily maybe but it seems like lawyers want cases that fit into their easy narrowly defined boxes. Auto accidents they want mostly. Always a deep pockets insurance company looking to settle. Or lawyers who specialize in or advertise they specialize in disability rights have narrow range of issues they will litigate. Some just getting people approved for disability checks. Others just issues involving housing. I know congress some years ago passed legislation making it harder to sue for medical malpractice and limited award amounts which feels unconstitutional

 

[Endofit]

Yes. Every projections I've made about my future are becoming reality. Now is the time to end it. Before my birthday in october hopefully.

 

[waterworks]

I feel so close, yet so far away. I'm ready, but I'm still what feels months away with my preparations. I am buying everything I need for a inert gas method. I have my nitrogen, waiting on my regulator, tubes, etc, which should arrive this weekend. Once I have everything, then I have to find a place, because I can't let those close to me find me like that, which is what will take a couple of weeks I think, to get my money together again. I'd like it to be far away enough from here.

But sometimes I just wish I could open that cylinder and fade away now.

 

[Mywill]

Yes but I have to wait about a month to settle down before ctb.

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

I just can't take it anymore. My mind and body are against me.

Same

 

[Infinite Solipsist]

I feel so close, yet so far away. I'm ready, but I'm still what feels months away with my preparations. I am buying everything I need for a inert gas method. I have my nitrogen, waiting on my regulator, tubes, etc, which should arrive this weekend. Once I have everything, then I have to find a place, because I can't let those close to me find me like that, which is what will take a couple of weeks I think, to get my money together again. I'd like it to be far away enough from here.

But sometimes I just wish I could open that cylinder and fade away now.

How much did the whole setup cost you? I ask because inert gas would be my 2nd choice for CTB but helium seems hard to acquire in large amounts where I live. The best I could think of would be Argon from a welding supply store but those tanks can be far more expensive than something like a 12 gauge shotgun.

 

[LostSoul1965]

I'm planning hunger strike today. Been difficult to start cuz I get tempted by food but I gotta be strong and do this. It is the 1 way everyone actually has a right to die. Constitutionally protected form of protest in United States and globally recognized as a human right. Also noble and heroic way to die. Just takes a while and strong will.

I respect your decision and wish you the best. This method takes alot longer than most people think depending on starting health of course. It could be a few weeks or even months. It will not be easy and even with what you say there could be intervention at some point. . I was reading a case where a guy went out into the wilderness in a tent and based on his journal it took approx. 58 days. That's a long time to suffer and if intervention happens there could be lasting damage. I wish you the best on your journey and hope you find the peace you deserve.

 

[LifeIsBS]

i know i am close, very close, i would ctb today if it weren't for the uncertainty of someone interrupting and ruining everything.

 

[DoubleUp8]

It's difficult to predict from individual to individual how long it will take. If you do it dry it's not supposed to take all that long tho. Average is 10 days i read 1 source. Information is kinda all over the road about it. Another source I read said 6 days max. I already have gone 6 days b4 with no food or liquids and I didn't even feel all that bad. Then there's sharmila who has the all time hunger strike record 16 years

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

It's a nice sentiment but I may not get the chance.

 

[Unknown21]

I don't feel very close, but I know it's inevitable. I'm getting closer as time passes.

 

[waterworks]

How much did the whole setup cost you? I ask because inert gas would be my 2nd choice for CTB but helium seems hard to acquire in large amounts where I live. The best I could think of would be Argon from a welding supply store but those tanks can be far more expensive than something like a 12 gauge shotgun.

I decided against helium as well because though I can find it where I live, it's much more expensive than nitrogen and harder to find as you said. The setup price break down is roughly as follows:

• Nitrogen Ultra High Purity gas - $130 for 35 Cubic Feet or about 991 Liters
• Nitrogen Cylinder - $151 (If I had a cylinder before hand, this would have been much cheaper)
• Argon/CO2 Flowmeter/Regulator - $73
• Regulator Adapter for Hose - $7 (I needed to get an adapter for the regulator outlet because it can't easily connect to oxygen tubing)
• Exit Bag Materials - $40

Unless I missed something, it all comes to about 400 dollars. I guess all in all, some shotguns are much cheaper. It really depends on how you want to exit I guess. I like the thought of closing my eyes and never opening them again. The inert gas method seems like just the thing. Plus, though it won't really matter to me, I don't want to make a great mess for those who come in to clear things up.

 

[outrider567]

I just can't take it anymore. My mind and body are against me.

I had three separate awful nightmares last night about my dead girlfriend, can't take much more of that

I feel so close, yet so far away. I'm ready, but I'm still what feels months away with my preparations. I am buying everything I need for a inert gas method. I have my nitrogen, waiting on my regulator, tubes, etc, which should arrive this weekend. Once I have everything, then I have to find a place, because I can't let those close to me find me like that, which is what will take a couple of weeks I think, to get my money together again. I'd like it to be far away enough from here.

But sometimes I just wish I could open that cylinder and fade away now.

When I got my Nitrogen tank, i was so happy and relieved, and then even happier when i got the EEBD Hood, my click style regulator goes to 25 LPM, I think I'll use that rate

I decided against helium as well because though I can find it where I live, it's much more expensive than nitrogen and harder to find as you said. The setup price break down is roughly as follows:

• Nitrogen Ultra High Purity gas - $130 for 35 Cubic Feet or about 991 Liters
• Nitrogen Cylinder - $151 (If I had a cylinder before hand, this would have been much cheaper)
• Argon/CO2 Flowmeter/Regulator - $73
• Regulator Adapter for Hose - $7 (I needed to get an adapter for the regulator outlet because it can't easily connect to oxygen tubing)
• Exit Bag Materials - $40

Unless I missed something, it all comes to about 400 dollars. I guess all in all, some shotguns are much cheaper. It really depends on how you want to exit I guess. I like the thought of closing my eyes and never opening them again. The inert gas method seems like just the thing. Plus, though it won't really matter to me, I don't want to make a great mess for those who come in to clear things up.

I tested my Nitrogen several times on myself, which is risky(since there's a delay on finger Oximeter)--Are you planning on doing any testing at all?

 

[Bobsled96]

Yes I'm gone tonight.

 

[outrider567]

It'd be so easy, just turn on the Nitrogen, put the EEBD Hood on, and breathe it in...til eternal darkness falls

 

[Infinite Solipsist]

Plus, though it won't really matter to me, I don't want to make a great mess for those who come in to clear things up.

This is why I plan on doing it outdoors while wearing a balaclava and covering my body with a large blanket. The (likely civilian) people who find the body won't be exposed to open-air gore and the mess wouldn't really be damaging anything except maybe the land value of the place I've chosen. Most first responders in this area are likely to be experienced in crime scenes that are far more disturbing and I don't actually care about them anyways. So yeah, I understand this sentiment towards firearms as a CTB method but I believe some steps can be taken to negate the harm.

 

[ADBoy777]

Used to believe it's close but it's gonna take me some time to get all the stuff I need and find the right time to commit.

I prefer it to be delayed but successful than do it impulsively and fail

 

[waterworks]

I had three separate awful nightmares last night about my dead girlfriend, can't take much more of that

I'm sorry to hear that. I've been having vivid dreams of my dead mother. I wonder if it's my mind knowing how close to death I am.

When I got my Nitrogen tank, i was so happy and relieved, and then even happier when i got the EEBD Hood, my click style regulator goes to 25 LPM, I think I'll use that rate

I get that; for me it was more a kind of calm rather than happiness. I was stressed that I wouldn't be convincing enough while trying to buy the nitrogen.
It seems you are well prepared. I will be constructing an exit bag.

I tested my Nitrogen several times on myself, which is risky(since there's a delay on finger Oximeter)--Are you planning on doing any testing at all?

I am thinking of testing, I guess I have to. Though I more afraid of testing, because I worry I might kick it during the test and be in a place I didn't plan on being found. Maybe, I'm being paranoid.

This is why I plan on doing it outdoors while wearing a balaclava and covering my body with a large blanket. The (likely civilian) people who find the body won't be exposed to open-air gore and the mess wouldn't really be damaging anything except maybe the land value of the place I've chosen. Most first responders in this area are likely to be experienced in crime scenes that are far more disturbing and I don't actually care about them anyways. So yeah, I understand this sentiment towards firearms as a CTB method but I believe some steps can be taken to negate the harm.

I think if you've thought it well, which it seems you have, then I can only hope for the best. Regardless of what I choose, I know it won't be easy for anyone to find someone dead; whether strapped up as I'll be or with a gunshot. So, I'm not one to judge, just wish the best for you.

 

[outrider567]

I'm sorry to hear that. I've been having vivid dreams of my dead mother. I wonder if it's my mind knowing how close to death I am.

I get that; for me it was more a kind of calm rather than happiness. I was stressed that I wouldn't be convincing enough while trying to buy the nitrogen.
It seems you are well prepared. I will be constructing an exit bag.

I am thinking of testing, I guess I have to. Though I more afraid of testing, because I worry I might kick it during the test and be in a place I didn't plan on being found. Maybe, I'm being paranoid.

I think if you've thought it well, which it seems you have, then I can only hope for the best. Regardless of what I choose, I know it won't be easy for anyone to find someone dead; whether strapped up as I'll be or with a gunshot. So, I'm not one to judge, just wish the best for you.

There is a five to 10 second delay regarding your Oxygen number using the Oximeter--When i took my EEBD Hood off, my O2 level was down to 80, but it continued to drop to 40, at 25 you black out and you're finished, so use caution

 

[waterworks]

There is a five to 10 second delay regarding your Oxygen number using the Oximeter--When i took my EEBD Hood off, my O2 level was down to 80, but it continued to drop to 40, at 25 you black out and you're finished, so use caution

I definitely will, thanks.

 

[waterworks]

There is a five to 10 second delay regarding your Oxygen number using the Oximeter--When i took my EEBD Hood off, my O2 level was down to 80, but it continued to drop to 40, at 25 you black out and you're finished, so use caution

Hey, just letting you know this advice really helped. Tested my setup today and sure enough there was about a 5-8 second delay on the oximeter. I took two good breaths and by the time I had taken my exit bag off, the oximeter hadn't registered the drop. Then the saturation dropped to 53 suddenly. I certainly might have blacked out if I didn't know this.

 

[alltoomuch2]

I'm so desperate to source SN. I spend every evening on google looking. But if I don't manage to get it, my mood swings and impulsiveness are getting worse and I'm going to end up at the bottom of the nearby lake, full of Nytol with an army tourniquet around my neck.