I feel that sense of hopelessness, which when I think is not true and life will be fine afterwards, but now it's as if I was looking through black and white filter. Even hope looks so bleak.
It's awareness of my condition that lets me keep head above water, but I don't control myself too much, I bought rope in a sex shop. It feels like I'm two people at once, who want different things. A lot of bad things always come together in a package
Goals, and dreams I had for long time are slowly becoming impossible to achieve, and I try to find different dreams, but everything feels like credit rolls are about to show up. There is nothing good going on. People who I considered close and was talking on a daily basis shut off, while obnoxiously posting about what a great time they're having, and on top of that I failed important exams, that might end in being kicked out. I just remember it was so much better. And now I'm asking if this is end of this film, or the middle part where everything goes wrong, but works out in the end?
