anyone else feel like half their hobbies are just distraction?

[viljalauss]

yea idk. to be fair i barely have time to do things except uni work (and this is just because i am so slow at it) but it does not really feel like i work towards anything with the things i do even in my spare time. most obviously, games to pass the time - shit like sudoku, kakuro. first off i don't find them nearly as fun anymore as i used to; the temporary feeling of satisfaction after solving them is nice enough, but it feels aimless. also solitaire i've found is a weirdly good distraction for dysphoria, but again it feels aimless. i'm trying to properly get into reading again but that takes so, so much effort to focus on and it doesn't get easier, and even when i do i can't hold on to information that long and so again it feels aimless. things i've tried to work towards that might actually have some sort of consequence (eg learning to code) i have just not been able to keep up motivation for either, but i suspect in that case there's also an element of apprehension about it? like working towards smth that could be useful for a hypothetical future means i have to think about that future. which is scary as fuck. even writing music which i feel most devoted to is not something i do quickly or well, and it feels like i'm not really evolving. and despite it giving no security for a future either it's still the thing i spend the most time on. but yea in general most of the things i do feel mindless and the things that aren't i can barely stick to or apply myself to (a phrase that assumes there is anything in me to be applied).

feel like i'm being way too doomer about this.. i think it's in my mind because i was looking over a basic safety plan i received (with space for me to add to it) and looking on it it all feels so futile. like all the techniques - ice cold water, hiding things that could harm you, engaging in hobbies. not to mention that if you feel like what you're doing these things to distract yourself from is right or at least worth considering, distractions seem pretty pointless. also what comes off to me as implicit is the idea that ctbing is an impulsive thing, which it shouldn't be and thankfully i'm not at risk of making it so.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Sometimes hobbies do feel like a distraction, but a still very welcome distraction. It only feels this way if there is not enough time to complete them - which used to be the case - but nowadays I have much more free time. Though in most instances if I have nothing else to do, and if I am in the mood for doing them, hobbies bring me genuine happiness.

yea idk. to be fair i barely have time to do things except uni work (and this is just because i am so slow at it) but it does not really feel like i work towards anything with the things i do even in my spare time. most obviously, games to pass the time - shit like sudoku, kakuro. first off i don't find them nearly as fun anymore as i used to; the temporary feeling of satisfaction after solving them is nice enough, but it feels aimless. also solitaire i've found is a weirdly good distraction for dysphoria, but again it feels aimless. i'm trying to properly get into reading again but that takes so, so much effort to focus on and it doesn't get easier, and even when i do i can't hold on to information that long and so again it feels aimless. things i've tried to work towards that might actually have some sort of consequence (eg learning to code) i have just not been able to keep up motivation for either, but i suspect in that case there's also an element of apprehension about it? like working towards smth that could be useful for a hypothetical future means i have to think about that future. which is scary as fuck. even writing music which i feel most devoted to is not something i do quickly or well, and it feels like i'm not really evolving. and despite it giving no security for a future either it's still the thing i spend the most time on. but yea in general most of the things i do feel mindless and the things that aren't i can barely stick to or apply myself to (a phrase that assumes there is anything in me to be applied).

feel like i'm being way too doomer about this.. i think it's in my mind because i was looking over a basic safety plan i received (with space for me to add to it) and looking on it it all feels so futile. like all the techniques - ice cold water, hiding things that could harm you, engaging in hobbies. not to mention that if you feel like what you're doing these things to distract yourself from is right or at least worth considering, distractions seem pretty pointless. also what comes off to me as implicit is the idea that ctbing is an impulsive thing, which it shouldn't be and thankfully i'm not at risk of making it so.

What do you mean by working towards something? Do you mean some kind of goal? Or do you mean that you think your hobbies are unproductive? If either of these questions are relevant to you then I could offer the argument that not everything in life has to have a functional purpose. Having said this you have mentioned working toward a potential future using learned skills, so perhaps I have not understood what you have posted correctly?

Sometimes if a hobby feels aimless, it could be a sign of two things:

1. You are burned out from said activity - either physically, mentally or both. If this is true then it does not mean that you no longer enjoy doing the hobby. Instead you should take a rest from doing it, and return to the activity when you feel refreshed.
2. You are no longer interested in said hobby.

You talked about learning to code. Have you looked into Unreal Engine 4/5? It is a video game engine - if this interests you. The engine uses C++, and Blueprint which is a visually-based scripting set - essentially programming for non-programmers.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Just about everything I do feels like a distraction. Even work- because I don't know how long I can sustain my prefered career. So- while I still care about the quality of what I'm doing, the future feels f*cked. My work in it's nature is distraction central though. That's partly why I enjoy it. It's meditative. I can lose myself in it.