Anyone else feel like a nuisance to others?

[V0latile]

I feel generally unwanted and a burden/annoyance. I know this is a remnant of the childhood abuse. I didn't feel like this though until I left my adopted family's house after high school several years ago. I felt wanted while living there.

I rent a room in a house with other renters. I'm on disability for severe mental problems. I keep to myself. But I share a bathroom and feel that whenever I'm using it that I'm looked at badly because someone else wants to use it too. I know I have just as much right to use the bathroom as they do, but I don't feel it. I don't think this excessive insecurity and anxiety will ever go away. I've done years of therapy and it was useless. I wish I died during the abuse.

 

[BabyYoda]

One of my friends eventually told me to "get over yourself" when I wasn't making any progress in solving my own problem. It was a shock to me since I wouldn't expect that from someone who's aspiring to be a therapist. It made me feel like I was indeed a self pitying freak. He even asked me if I wanted to be one of the people he's walked away from.

That was when I stopped going to people irl for help and went here. Also, I don't wanna be bombarded with the it gets better bullshit when it comes to me talking about suicidal thoughts.

 

[Starcitty]

A lot of people seem to be quick to anger and that's one of the reasons I keep to myself. I can't handle people being angry at me in general. Plenty of people who I've never talked to or interacted with don't like me, makes me sad.

 

[lowres]

I know i am a burden I have tormented my family, especially my mother the whole last year with stuff i don't think i'll ever be able to explain to most others without being labeled scum (I fear my future intimate relationships because of this), I'm unemployed and freeload (not for a lack of trying though, i really want to pay rent and have money). im generally a stressor for others and feel like people dont want me around even though my family and few friends still accept me.

 

[enjoy]

all the time. i used to be a very talkative person in real life, but now i rarely say anything. i feel like a complete nuisance if/when i say too much.

 

[brain problems]

always! even feel guilty for making strangers wait 5 seconds for me to cross the street >.<

 

[lowres]

always! even feel guilty for making strangers wait 5 seconds for me to cross the street >.<

Relatable, I try to be courteous by kinda of gesturing to the car with a wave like "thanks for waiting" but even crossing lights when cars aren't moving makes me so anxious

 

[brain problems]

yeah, it really does feel like everybody's watching/judging you :-/ why does going outside have to be so hard lol

 

[lowres]

yeah, it really does feel like everybody's watching/judging you :-/ why does going outside have to be so hard lol

I feel like it has to do with being out of practice with interacting with others honestly, at least for me anyways. When I've been busy for days or weeks and i've been outside and had to interact with people like retail workers and others I feel more confident interacting with strangers around me a bit more as apposed to when i havent left my home in weeks and i stutter and get flustered talking to the gas station cashier even though our interaction was me saying no to a plastic bag and giving them money. drivers make me especially anxious still though because they always seem so ornery

I do enjoy interacting with strangers sometimes especially in my shithole town theres lots of odd people and homeless who will chat you up randomly which can sometimes be unnerving if their being threatening or erratic but like a month ago a guy chatted me up to talk about jesus and his conspiracies surrounding the housing market and stolen money or something, I was just like "shit man, yeah praise god, one love man"

 

[lucid]

To most of my friends, mainly. The last few friends I had IRL I cut contact with because they were mostly happy and I just felt like I was bringing down the mood every time I hung out with them whether it was not talking much or just steering the conversation topic to something sad.
As for family, a little. I feel like the nuisance part there is me just being a general failure in life like not having a job, not being successful in anything, things like that. They know what's going on in my life, almost everyone I know does because it always escapes me. But it's gotten to the point where I can tell they're also sad behind it all and don't like that I'm always visibly sad.
Majority of it all stems from anxiety which is a 24/7 thing.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Every single minute of every single day. Every breath I take feels like an inconvenience. I know it's probably not the case but that's what extreme paranoia does for you. When people tell me I'm not a burden I just assume it's a lie and its what they want me to think but deep down they cant wait to be rid of me.

 

[Jean4]

Every single minute of every single day. Every breath I take feels like an inconvenience. I know it's probably not the case but that's what extreme paranoia does for you. When people tell me I'm not a burden I just assume it's a lie and its what they want me to think but deep down they cant wait to be rid of me.

Cough cough ;)

 

[TAW122]

One of my friends eventually told me to "get over yourself" when I wasn't making any progress in solving my own problem. It was a shock to me since I wouldn't expect that from someone who's aspiring to be a therapist. It made me feel like I was indeed a self pitying freak. He even asked me if I wanted to be one of the people he's walked away from.

That was when I stopped going to people irl for help and went here. Also, I don't wanna be bombarded with the it gets better bullshit when it comes to me talking about suicidal thoughts.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Yeah I hate it when people are superficial like that. They want to appear 'helpful' even if it isn't, and they are not sincere. As far as the "it gets better bullshit" yes, that's what a majority of sheeple (mainstream society and most people IRL) are programmed to do. I too, avoid bringing up anything negative since I don't want to deal with inane platitudes.

 

[Grandexit]

I'm a drain on my family. I don't deserve anything I have. I should be happy. I live in one of those trendy cities.... and feel nothing. People are dying to get into my country. I loathe it. My family can use the money from my house better than I can, i dont need to haunt this house. Someone else will be thrilled to live here, or demolish and pave it over. My possessions will be sold off to fund my permanent vacation. Whatever is left will be given to charity .... and I guess my worthless cousins inherent what's left after my mother passes. Maybe they can make something of their lives.
I was a mistake from birth, and I should have ended things ten years ago.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I get told all the time to just cheer up, its frustrating, It makes me shit and like im not good enough as I am constantly failing them by not cheering up, or not getting better over night.
I'm on a major downer at the moment, no reason why, my husband is avoiding spending any time with me, this makes me feel even worse and even more of a burden if even he doesn't want to spend time with me!
I rarely go out as I can't stand pissing people off if I get in their way in the street or something

 

[Moonicide]

Yes, absolutely. I can relate so much... Like you I am also on disability for severe mental health problems. My mother has had to spend most of her life taking care of me and I feel so bad for her. She has expressed her concerns and tells me she worries about me as I can not support myself while she keeps getting older and older. My mental state has been so bad at times that she has to clean my room, throw out the garbage, clean dishes with rotting food on them. I'll stay locked in my room for days and she'll simply knock to make sure I'm still alive and tell me she's made a meal for me. My mother wanted an abortion when she was expecting me, but she was too far along. She spent her whole entire pregnancy crying... I was a burden since day one. But I won't be one anymore very soon.

 

[Chlo]

Ohh, yeah. The feeling of being a burden follows me everywhere, I bring everybody down and know it's only a matter of time I'll be alone again because of it.

 

[porfin1234]

Yea for sure I just need to learn to manage my thoughts and emotions and not share them anymore.


I know if and when I CTB I will cause a shit ton of problems. But then ppl will just continue with their lives and not have to deal with my self created drama.