Anyone else dig through the past trying to make something happen with people you once knew?

[dilapidatedMind]

So many missed opportunities with women I let slip me by. My reasoning was that I had ocd and was on disability or was broke. I thought it would be a deal breaker, which it probably would've been actually.

I just feel that if I stuck around that I would have no options. I don't see how i'd meet anyone in the future. I actually don't even know how relationships even start outside work.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm so tempted to do this right now with the person who broke it off with me last week. All things considered we ended on a good note except for the part where we're also both really heartbroken that it has to be this way. I really want to just talk and maybe check in on her but I'm afraid maybe she'd see it as a pathetic attempt to try to get together which would lead to further inevitable heartbreak probably. If she did think that way she'd probably be right but I think she's wrong that I can do better than her. I already told myself before I met her that the next person I fall in love with would be the last no matter what and I intend to keep it that way. If only I had some sign that maybe she'd welcome me reaching out to her after having given her some space.....

 

[purplesmoothie]

I tried to get back with my ex after he left me for another woman when he was having troubles with her... :/

 

[Disappointered]

Yes. Didn't work.

 

[Rn110bg101]

I think about my ex-friend every day, my mind constantly changes between "I wish they'd come back" and "I don't want them to come back".
I think back on the conversations we had and think what I could have said differently, but I know it's in the past and nothing will bring it back, so…

If the afterlife truly is "what you want it to be", I would want them to come back (on top of my soul being fixed of course).

 

[dilapidatedMind]

Yes. Didn't work.

How many years back are you digging? I'm going back about a decade.

I think about my ex-friend every day, my mind constantly changes between "I wish they'd come back" and "I don't want them to come back".
I think back on the conversations we had and think what I could have said differently, but I know it's in the past and nothing will bring it back, so…

If the afterlife truly is "what you want it to be", I would want them to come back (on top of my soul being fixed of course).

And that person was just a friend?

 

[Rn110bg101]

And that person was just a friend?

Yeah. If I felt attraction towards them I would have said crush

 

[ZardozOmega]

Eh, sometimes. But I'm a fundamentally broken person, I don't think I'd ever attain a healthy relationship

 

[Disappointered]

How many years back are you digging? I'm going back about a decade.

I went back about a decade and also past, to a uni program I was in, then past to undergrad, to highschool, even to the town I was in as a child before moving to a larger city in my teens. I found that many people hardly even remembered me. Others pretended to be excited to hear from me but were in fact sucking up on facebook for strategic reasons that had very little to do with any value they held for their relations with me. It was overall depressing.

 

[Kramer]

I went back about a decade and also past, to a uni program I was in, then past to undergrad, to highschool, even to the town I was in as a child before moving to a larger city in my teens. I found that many people hardly even remembered me. Others pretended to be excited to hear from me but were in fact sucking up on facebook for strategic reasons that had very little to do with any value they held for their relations with me. It was overall depressing.

I've done this too. One girl didn't even remember me from a year ago lol. I think my good memory is due to the fact that for months and even years nothing memorable happens in my life.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

The only person this makes me think of is the only person I've ever been in love with, and she's now with someone who I know won't be as stupid as I was in letting her go.

No one else has ever really been interested haha

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

no these peope are in the past for a reason

 

[Symbiote]

I check on people but I don't make any contact with them. Just like to see where they're at now. Did they get married? Did they move to Korea like they wanted to? So on. No need to re-introduce myself into their lives again, that ship sailed long ago at that point in time. I just wonder if my face ever pops up in their mind or they're thinking of what I'm doing too. Probably not.

 

[Futile]

I contacted a dozen people (basically everyone I know irl) in just two days a month ago, nobody cared

 

[Disappointered]

I think my good memory is due to the fact that for months and even years nothing memorable happens in my life.

Yes, I've come to a similar conclusion. Others don't remember as much that involves me because I'm not important. That's because I'm a loser who doesn't have many powers, isn't very respected and was fabricated out of a constellation of factors that a few people share a few of but no one shares all of (so, a bad idea that people encouraged my parents to proceed with anyway!), and also, as a result has very little of interest that ever goes on in my life. That just exacerbates the situation since other people are and remain more important to me than i ever am to them. thanks New Left.

 

[greebo6]

Probably best to leave the past alone. But the temptation is understandable .

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm so tempted to do this right now with the person who broke it off with me last week. All things considered we ended on a good note except for the part where we're also both really heartbroken that it has to be this way. I really want to just talk and maybe check in on her but I'm afraid maybe she'd see it as a pathetic attempt to try to get together which would lead to further inevitable heartbreak probably. If she did think that way she'd probably be right but I think she's wrong that I can do better than her. I already told myself before I met her that the next person I fall in love with would be the last no matter what and I intend to keep it that way. If only I had some sign that maybe she'd welcome me reaching out to her after having given her some space.....

I ended up reaching out to her and while she was open to it, I wish I had done so sooner because she ended up doing something self-destructive. If I had only been enough then maybe I could have stopped it. Either way, we're at least on speaking terms though she hasn't actually responded to my last message in a while but I know that could just be because she's busy though I can't help shake the feeling maybe I said something dumb again.......

 

[Kramer]

Probably best to leave the past alone. But the temptation is understandable .

Problem is there's no one in my present and my future I think will look a lot like my present. I can't work so i'll never meet anyone new, never be able to move, etc. I don't want to have to die but I don't see anything left for me. What do you think?

 

[fox21132113]

I try to have a relationship with my dad. I have only seen him once in 11years. He just started asking me for money for drugs, as he's homeless, and I think he's going to die soon. I'm not sure how I feel about it?

 

[Kramer]

I try to have a relationship with my dad. I have only seen him once in 11years. He just started asking me for money for drugs, as he's homeless, and I think he's going to die soon. I'm not sure how I feel about it?

Feel upset

 

[fox21132113]

I kind of like the detachment involved, so if it happens, I'm not that hurt. Selfish I know, but who likes to hurt. I wish I could help him, I just want to save him. I offer my home up to him, try to spare money when possible, let him know I care.

Feel upset