Discussion anyone else craves friendship and relationships but just never have the energy to keep up with those said relationships?

[vold3m0r†]

Basically the title but I have have this problem for a couple of years, I somehow manage to make a new friend, but i just lose the energy to text them or talk to them,
and i ignore them for days until i feel to guilty and just message them a very short sentence. Then I feel a momentary relief and just forget to talk to them for weeks or
months. Then it feels like its too late to reach out again.

I feel the same thing in my work, i just don't have the willingness to talk to people in my work. This issue just spills into my life, and I just ignore everyone until we
drift apart.

I don't know where I'm going with this... but does anyone relate?

 

[Monkeyman]

Yeah, I kind of have that too. I don't have the energy to do much of anything nowadays, and trying to talk to new people ends up becoming very exhausting. It also feels kind of futile since I think about CTB anyway so I feel like I'd be just befriending someone only to be gone a while later.

 

[BlackWednesday]

I know exactly what you mean. Of the few friends I've made in my life I haven't been able to hold onto a single one. We either fell out or just drited apart due to lack of contact. At this point I'm fairly certain it's impossible for me to make friends.

 

[Lynx.]

I've lost most of the few friendships that I had over the years in this way. Sometimes their reactions to my isolation were understanding, while other times it was harsh and emotionally demanding. I regret it, looking back upon it, but I know it is always inevitable.

I can barely muster the energy to breathe through another day, let alone to be a good and dear friend to others.
I wish I was capable of mantaining and nurturing friendships; but I can't really connect or understand others. I'm a mess, socially speaking, to the point where I either stay quiet for the whole conversation, or I end up oversharing and being more honest than I should, thus making others uncomfortable, among many other issues. Whenever I make a friend, which happens once every two years at most, the scenario of me isolating and avoiding them without reason is repeated.

The only friend I mantained through the years without losing contact is my childhood friend, and that's only because he respects and understands my lack of energy, although I know he finds it frustrating...

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

I just feel so empty that I can't really contribute to conversations anymore. I feel like I just end up standing there while other people carry the conversation.

 

[don't want it]

If you love real love , if you broken him , that will destroy your life , iam sorry

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Obtaining a relationship is too much work. It would require me to put up the illusion that I care about my body and myself, and as a result I'd have to take care of myself.

Friendships are fleeting anyways. The minute one of you no longer has common interests, or gets an S/O to devote their time to, that friendship is doomed.

 

[asterisk3]

I've lost most of the few friendships that I had over the years in this way. Sometimes their reactions to my isolation were understanding, while other times it was harsh and emotionally demanding. I regret it, looking back upon it, but I know it is always inevitable.

I can barely muster the energy to breathe through another day, let alone to be a good and dear friend to others.
I wish I was capable of mantaining and nurturing friendships; but I can't really connect or understand others. I'm a mess, socially speaking, to the point where I either stay quiet for the whole conversation, or I end up oversharing and being more honest than I should, thus making others uncomfortable, among many other issues. Whenever I make a friend, which happens once every two years at most, the scenario of me isolating and avoiding them without reason is repeated.

The only friend I mantained through the years without losing contact is my childhood friend, and that's only because he respects and understands my lack of energy, although I know he finds it frustrating...

Pretty much my mirror image. It's a curse to coast through life like that, but hey what can we do. The worst part for me is accepting the loneliness for what it is, because once someone I have fun with/share a couple things with comes along I go full Wonderland mode. Gotta keep reminding myself I'm the one with almost no people in his life, not others. I'm a huge mess. It's shameful. Need to put some order around the house (head).

 

[vultureilse]

yeah. im lonely to an unbearable degree but interacting with people is so hard. it takes me hours or even days to respond to messages because it takes so much effort to gather up the energy. and the longer i isolate myself the more unbearable my desire for frienship becomes but i still cant manage to do anything about it. and im an extremely awkward person, i have no social skills and never know what to say so its hard to keep a conversation. and then theres also the anxiety, overthinking everything they do or say, constantly spiraling because i feel like theyre annoyed with me and hate me

 

[Looking]

I struggle a lot with this as well. Every friend I've ever had just ended up this way. I've only tried to message a few people first (as I normally don't start a new conversation with someone, I just wait until they message/text me first) and every time I did, I felt like I was being annoying, so I kind of gave up. It's emotionally draining to have human interaction as is... it's another whole ball game when you think the other person hates you or finds you annoying. It's really hard to enjoy any conversation that way.

I think I can "talk" to people fairly "easily", as in I'm not annoyed with people talking to me and I'm not going to outright ignore them, even if it makes me feel exhausted. My social battery is always very low and I struggle so much to keep up with it, but I try, even if it doesn't look like I am to others. But all of my responses are normally empty, in the sense that I'm not really being vulnerable or opening up to them, and I think they can tell that. So they struggle to befriend me, counting it always feels like it's one sided I guess. I feel bad about it, but being vulnerable with others.... I just struggle too much with. I hate being perceived with any emotional vulnerabilities.

I only have one friend left that I talk to, like actually talk to, but that's because he understands me being aloof a lot. We will go long periods not talking to each other and neither of us feel bad about it. I would deem him more as my family than friend at this point, though. I do talk to my family and my partner, so I don't feel the real need to make friendships. "Why socialize? Why go through that emotional exhaustion and pain when you can just talk to your family? They know your weakest moments already, nothing to hide at this point." kind of mindset.

I do feel a bit lonely and I do wish I had other people to talk to, but meh. It's my fault it's this way, so I guess I can't complain.

 

[Wannagonow]

Yes. I'm lonely. Would like a person or two I could connect with. Truly, I don't have the energy or social opportunities to make it happen. Once I was no longer able to work, I lost all those acquaintances and "work friends". Don't get to meet alot of new people now since I just hide in my house all day.

 

[phrog21]

I just feel so empty that I can't really contribute to conversations anymore. I feel like I just end up standing there while other people carry the conversation.

what about you makes you feel empty? do you not do a lot with your day

 

[PlanB]

I have been dealing with this all my life. Sadly connections to people are often what makes or breaks a successful life. Not having this skill feels like being doomed to fail before you get a chance to even start. It is a huge source of pain and anxiety for me.

 

[EnzoBenzoEatsCrayon]

Yea, it's just so difficult to keep up with friendship. I don't consider myself a nice person and I don't think other people think I'm a nice person either. I'm so drained and just out of energy to make it through every day. So taking care of relationships and friendships is of my least concern. But after they fall apart I feel bad, a guilt just torments me for years afterwards. My mentality is "why get in relationships when you feel horrible afterwards?". So I just don

 

[Ambivalent1]

I hate ghosters but then I realize I've ghosted many people.

 

[PlanB]

I hate ghosters but then I realize I've ghosted many people.

Same.