Discussion Anyone else completely let go of their appearance/self-care?

[not_a_robot]

How you gonna CTB? What's your method?

Hoping to Sn or fentanyl/heroin but will probably end up with something lame like knife-in-carotid. No firm timetable, I'm trying to delay just to piss off the people who hate me.

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

Hoping to Sn or fentanyl/heroin but will probably end up with something lame like knife-in-carotid. No firm timetable, I'm trying to delay just to piss off the people who hate me.

Knife??!?
Your gonna stab yourself in the neck?

 

[not_a_robot]

Knife??!?
Your gonna stab yourself in the neck?

only if I can't do Sn ot fentanyl. it's more successful than slicing across the throat, just stab past the gristle. Arteries are fairly well-protected by tendons, most people can't get deep enough on a slice-across. I'm really pale so I can see where to hit the artery through my skin.

A lady did it in a supermarket in Britain a couple years ago, she was dead by the time EMS arrived.

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

only if I can't do Sn ot fentanyl. it's more successful than slicing across the throat, just stab past the gristle. Arteries are fairly well-protected by tendons, most people can't get deep enough on a slice-across. I'm really pale so I can see where to hit the artery through my skin.

A lady did it in a supermarket in Britain a couple years ago, she was dead by the time EMS arrived.

I'm just gonna hang myself, I'm my bathroom. And leave a note on the door to tell my mum not to come in and call the police
I'd love to do a fentanyl and alcohol overdose but I don't know where to get fen in England

 

[not_a_robot]

I'm just gonna hang myself, I'm my bathroom. And leave a note on the door to tell my mum not to come in and call the police
I'd love to do a fentanyl and alcohol overdose but I don't know where to get fen in England

yeah the media pretends it is "everywhere" but if you aren't into drug-culture it's not easy.

You seem young though, I think I am morally obligated to tell you to "give life a chance", even though I wish I had not.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Anyone else too low to manage their health and appearance?

I pay attention to my appearance at work. I wear nice suits, shirts, ties, I take a shower and shave everyday, brush my teeth after each meal… I think it's a kinda eccedentesiastic behavior.

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

yeah the media pretends it is "everywhere" but if you aren't into drug-culture it's not easy.

You seem young though, I think I am morally obligated to tell you to "give life a chance", even though I wish I had not.

I'm not young. I've wasted my life and I have no future

 

[Jynxer]

In my twenties I was reasonably pretty and even when low always would eat very well, it actually helped give me focus, and had plenty of exercise. As I've always had low self-esteem I would always make sure I thought my clothes looked good together and hair make-up paid attention to, so never minded looking on the mirror. One thing I did think was I looked alright if I didn't always even feel it.

Wow how that's changed. I'm out and about now not having brushed my hair (my hair is elbow length) or teeth for three or four days (I lose track) with quite a ridiculous combination of clothing on, as just getting dressed was hard enough. I haven't been able to stand looking in the mirror for nearly two years. The untreated ptsd and depression/anxiety has led to years of heavy drinking and my face is now permanently puffy and covered in red spider viens. I've almost lost my appetite and take no pleasure in food anymore, surviving off sweets and crisps. I barely exercise and sleep on the sofa, often not changing clothes for days. I can't stand being places where I might meet people I know, I look so haggard and revolting. I hate the mirror and I really hate people looking at me. I've turned into this disgusting skanky husk.

Anyone else too low to manage their health and appearance?

In my twenties I was reasonably pretty and even when low always would eat very well, it actually helped give me focus, and had plenty of exercise. As I've always had low self-esteem I would always make sure I thought my clothes looked good together and hair make-up paid attention to, so never minded looking on the mirror. One thing I did think was I looked alright if I didn't always even feel it.

Wow how that's changed. I'm out and about now not having brushed my hair (my hair is elbow length) or teeth for three or four days (I lose track) with quite a ridiculous combination of clothing on, as just getting dressed was hard enough. I haven't been able to stand looking in the mirror for nearly two years. The untreated ptsd and depression/anxiety has led to years of heavy drinking and my face is now permanently puffy and covered in red spider viens. I've almost lost my appetite and take no pleasure in food anymore, surviving off sweets and crisps. I barely exercise and sleep on the sofa, often not changing clothes for days. I can't stand being places where I might meet people I know, I look so haggard and revolting. I hate the mirror and I really hate people looking at me. I've turned into this disgusting skanky husk.

Anyone else too low to manage their health and appearance?

i used to be someone who wanted to look good going out the door ( not over the top like some females). But now, I don't give a fuck. I mostly wear either my work uniform or my pjs. I don't own any "nice clothes" anymore because I haven't been out in years and I don't care.

I haven't been to the dentist in many years, although I do manage to brush my teeth, on my work days.

I don't bother going to the dr anymore (what's the point?) even though I live in a country where it's free.
I have pretty much given up on my appearance even though I used to be " pretty hot." I just don't give a fuck anymore.

On my days off, I do nothing for my self care.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

Lol If I have a tattoo showing or if a piece of clothing has a cartoon character or phrase, people constantly try to discuss it with me. I'm conditioned to be polite but inside I'm like "WTF!" I have to be careful to wear plain clothes but it doesn't stop them. "WHY DO YOU DRESS SO PLAIN, YOU COULD BE PRETTY IF YOU TRY!"
I want a face tattoo but I don't want motherfuckers staring at it, asking stupid questions.

Was it bactrim, or a sulfa? Sorry don't mean to be nosy, just curious. Apparently lots of meds can have permanent side effects.

That I can agree on. I always wear all black but there is something always on my shirt whether it be a game, cartoon, horror, something geeky, a band, or something really messed up just to express how I feel inside. Either people want to know where I got it from or tell me it scared them which makes me smile OR YOu Play ViDEo GaMEs? No Im wearing a playstation logo shirt to advertise for the company, part time job didn't you know? They ask for the sarcasm sometimes. Im wearing it for myself in the end.

 

[throwaway777]

i cant brush my teeth n everything feels so tiring to do so pointless i hate it

 

[LogicalConclusion]

It's not so much that I let it go as I'm not able to keep up with it. I know, I know, it's gross and I feel terrible about it, but I change clothes every couple days or when I shower (but do manage to change undergarments more regularly) and I put deodorant on every other day or so just so I don't reek. I try to put more effort into it on days I will have to meet/see people, but it's hard...I'm not able to take care of myself on my own. I've kinda given up on brushing my teeth because I don't have a regular schedule to even slot it into. Some of my clothes have holes or are very worn but I don't have the money/will to buy anymore because what would be the point? I'm not going to be here much longer. Would rather spend money on weed or things my friends need. I only finger-brush my hair to make it semi-acceptable because I have to go outside to smoke. But I haven't shaved in like a week and I'm just so behind on everything...

 

[Darkhaven]

Yup.
Stopped going to the gym, stopped eating healthy, got fat, and lost interest in buying clothes.
So i'm going to college with my old clothes that are now too short and fit too tight because i accumulated some bodyfat due to my laziness and overall lost of interest for my body.
I'm very far from obese but for the people around me it's completely noticeable.

 

[not_a_robot]

It's not so much that I let it go as I'm not able to keep up with it. I know, I know, it's gross and I feel terrible about it, but I change clothes every couple days or when I shower (but do manage to change undergarments more regularly) and I put deodorant on every other day or so just so I don't reek. I try to put more effort into it on days I will have to meet/see people, but it's hard...I'm not able to take care of myself on my own. I've kinda given up on brushing my teeth because I don't have a regular schedule to even slot it into. Some of my clothes have holes or are very worn but I don't have the money/will to buy anymore because what would be the point? I'm not going to be here much longer. Would rather spend money on weed or things my friends need. I only finger-brush my hair to make it semi-acceptable because I have to go outside to smoke. But I haven't shaved in like a week and I'm just so behind on everything...

I want to smoke weed with you, weirdo.

 

[Weems]

I've stopped lifting and gotten chubby from junk food. Worst shape of my life. Also my balding seems to be accelerating.

Interestingly, I'm having a cold sore outbreak. This usually only happens when I don't sleep but I guess the suicidality's stressful enough on its own.

 

[ProhibereDolor]

Absolutely. I go through cycles. I have bipolar disorder and when I hit manic stages it gets really bad. But the depression is far worse. Haven't shaved in a couple weeks. Still shower but don't do much scrubbing. Do the sniff test of clothes and if they are, let's say not ripe, then I'll wear them again but usually only while at home. The lab I work in has clean rooms and you have to be immaculate if you are going inside. One person forgot to put the little booties on their feet and we had to spend two days cleaning everything as well as scrubbing the air that cycles through. It was a pain in the ass. So if I'm at work I have to be in good shape. Beards and stuff are allowed but you have to wear hair nets on them. But outside of the lab setting I just don't care and pretty much look haggard most of the time lately.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

Absolutely. I go through cycles. I have bipolar disorder and when I hit manic stages it gets really bad. But the depression is far worse. Haven't shaved in a couple weeks. Still shower but don't do much scrubbing. Do the sniff test of clothes and if they are, let's say not ripe, then I'll wear them again but usually only while at home. The lab I work in has clean rooms and you have to be immaculate if you are going inside. One person forgot to put the little booties on they feet and we had to spend two days cleaning everything as well as scrubbing the air that cycles through. It was a pain in the ass. So if I'm at work I have to be in good shape. Beards and stuff are allowed but you have to wear hair nets on them. But outside of the lab setting I just don't care and pretty much look haggard most of the time lately.

Well that sucks lol. Nothing like being forced to be cleaned for work. What a drag.

 

[ProhibereDolor]

Well that sucks lol. Nothing like being forced to be cleaned for work. What a drag.

It's not really a big deal. I mean, pretty much every job requires you to be presentable. Other than oil rig roughneck or sewer inspector. It's just when working in a lab you can't stink even the slightest because there aren't any smells to help mask your musk. So everyone knows who smells. It's a good job though. We help design custom chemicals for a lot of different clients.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

It's not really a big deal. I mean, pretty much every job requires you to be presentable. Other than oil rig roughneck or sewer inspector. It's just when working in a lab you can't stink even the slightest because there aren't any smells to help mask your musk. So everyone knows who smells. It's a good job though. We help design custom chemicals for a lot of different clients.

Well yeah but you mentioned cleaning everything cause someone forgot to put booties on their feet lol that sucks. And I can be presentable at my job and still wear a middle finger on my shirt with a satantic cross lol no fucks

 

[ProhibereDolor]

Well yeah but you mentioned cleaning everything cause someone forgot to put booties on their feet lol that sucks. And I can be presentable at my job and still wear a middle finger on my shirt with a satantic cross lol no fucks

This actually made me chuckle. Yeah, the part about a co-worker forgetting something small and we were screwed for two days...that absolutely sucked. Nothing like having to clean tiny crevasses with a damn Q tip. We actually made him buy our lunches for a few days because of it. So that was a plus. But still, cleaning a clean room because of possible contamination from shoes was a bit overboard. There was nothing to sweep up, no dirt. But it is the microscopic crap you have to really be worried about. Insidious dirt and dog poop....

Edit: We have to wear chemical suits and sometimes masks so I can wear whatever underneath. It's funny when someone farts in their suit and just marinate in it for hours. Thank cthulhu for masks.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

This actually made me chuckle. Yeah, the part about a co-worker forgetting something small and we were screwed for two days...that absolutely sucked. Nothing like having to clean tiny crevasses with a damn Q tip. We actually made him buy our lunches for a few days because of it. So that was a plus. But still, cleaning a clean room because of possible contamination from shoes was a bit overboard. There was nothing to sweep up, no dirt. But it is the microscopic crap you have to really be worried about. Insidious dirt and dog poop....

Edit: We have to wear chemical suits and sometimes masks so I can wear whatever underneath. It's funny when someone farts in their suit and just marinate in it for hours. Thank cthulhu for masks.

How are you not ocd? Also what did you make him buy you for lunch? And lmaoo some farts are the worst so thats just a huge nope. And most of my shirts would probably make you chuckle lol.

 

[Final Escape]

Yea I looked pretty good in my youth but now it's brutal lol! I'm not well off enough to put tons of effort into my

I was never pretty, but in the last few years I put on 80 pounds and shaved my head, so I look like utter shit. The good thing is, when you get down to the solid 1/10 in terms of looks, you just dont have to care anymore.

I have shaved head too lol! It's starting to grow back now. I'm still beginning to look middle age and just tired. Some guy at Walmart today thought I was 32 but I don't feel 32 anymore lol! I feel like I'm 60.

 

[ProhibereDolor]

How are you not ocd? Also what did you make him buy you for lunch? And lmaoo some farts are the worst so thats just a huge nope. And most of my shirts would probably make you chuckle lol.

I'm not compelled to clean. We were forced to clean because that's the policy when it comes to the clean rooms. We made him buy pizza. Nothing special. It was the principle of it. And yeah, it's pretty funny when someone runs to the door and disconnects their air hose and try to scramble out the door to bust some ass with their suit opened. More often than not we don't make it and are forced to smell it until you get out the air lock. Good times.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

I'm not compelled to clean. We were forced to clean because that's the policy when it comes to the clean rooms. We made him buy pizza. Nothing special. It was the principle of it. And yeah, it's pretty funny when someone runs to the door and disconnects their air hose and try to scramble out the door to bust some ass with their suit opened. More often than not we don't make it and are forced to smell it until you get out the air lock. Good times.

What did you do in the lab anyway?

 

[ProhibereDolor]

What did you do in the lab anyway?

Hydrazine hydrate-N2H4 and Dinitrogen tetroxide-N2O4

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

Hydrazine hydrate-N2H4 and Dinitrogen tetroxide-N2O4

Slower in english. I barely passed chemistry lol

 

[Mljonzy]

I get laughed at and have done since i was a young child so i never cared and as someone who has never had a girlfriend or experienced intimacy or love at the age of almost 30 i just don't give a fuck anymore. I manage to shower a few times a week get hair cut and other stuff but brushing my teeth not so good. I started to get depressed around the time my adult teeth grew and hardly ever brushed them until i was about 20. I did try brushing when i realised how fucked up they were but now they are discoloured with tar in between the teeth and look dirty. I don't care if they rot it makes no difference to me anymore.

 

[Not_Quite_Dead_Yet]

I wear all black and keep my hair closely cropped for a low-maintenance existence. I sadly remember a time when I dressed in designer clothes and had my long, frosted hair "done" weekly at a salon. Seems like a different lifetime. Hard to recognize the old me in pictures. I cringe when I ponder all that wasted money. I try to stay reasonably clean but that's about it.

 

[lynn14]

In my twenties I was reasonably pretty and even when low always would eat very well, it actually helped give me focus, and had plenty of exercise. As I've always had low self-esteem I would always make sure I thought my clothes looked good together and hair make-up paid attention to, so never minded looking on the mirror. One thing I did think was I looked alright if I didn't always even feel it.

Wow how that's changed. I'm out and about now not having brushed my hair (my hair is elbow length) or teeth for three or four days (I lose track) with quite a ridiculous combination of clothing on, as just getting dressed was hard enough. I haven't been able to stand looking in the mirror for nearly two years. The untreated ptsd and depression/anxiety has led to years of heavy drinking and my face is now permanently puffy and covered in red spider viens. I've almost lost my appetite and take no pleasure in food anymore, surviving off sweets and crisps. I barely exercise and sleep on the sofa, often not changing clothes for days. I can't stand being places where I might meet people I know, I look so haggard and revolting. I hate the mirror and I really hate people looking at me. I've turned into this disgusting skanky husk.

Anyone else too low to manage their health and appearance?

"My hair is elbow length" I'm a woman who lost 75% of my hair at the age of 24, and I can't grow long hair anymore like I used to. My hair is actually a part (not the whole reason) of why I want to ctb. I've cried so many times wishing I could brush my long hair again, and feel it wrapping around my shoulders and arms. It really is all relative, if I had elbow length hair I would feel beautiful. If it were possible for me to look good I would put in the effort but what the fuck is the point when I look like a prematurely aged troll.

 

[Alec]

I dont want anyone in my life either. My family feel sorry for me thinking I have no friends.
I choose to not hang around my friends.
Im used to my own company, I can read and catch up on my youtube channels that I watch.
I love my company very much lol.
Its other peoples company that bores me plus people just tell lies too much for my liking.

Same for me. My family think it's sad I don't have any friends and am always in my room. But it's what I want, i don't want to talk to anyone, I don't like people and I really prefer being alone then being around most of the people because most are stupid and being alone is better then being around someone stupid.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Dunno about the chemistry discussion, I flunked chem several years ago, but I can totally relate cause I used to shower everyday and stuff like that and now I just look like a homeless bum, hair matted and greasy, old dusty sweatpants and bags under my eyes, showing up at the liquor store at 9 am asking for a fifth looking down at the counter. Lol when did my life turn to this