mierepeashi
Member
- Jan 23, 2023
- 18
I just feel like I can't commit to anything, doing my schoolwork, eating healthy, reading, helping people. I just can't start doing stuff and even if I start doing something I constantly tell myself that all of this is meaningless and it doesn't account to anything. I keep justifying the way I feel by using the absurdity and the meaninglessness of this life, but the truth is that I could do the same but instead justify being happy and enjoying life, but I just can't. I feel so stupid. I've managed to read around 40 pages in 3 HOURS, that's how unintelligent I am. I just hate myself so much and can't find anyway out, because truth be told I don't think I could ever be any different from how I am. I just want to be free, but I'm so afraid to do it. I feel so disconnected from this world, nothin is plausible for me anymore, I believe everyone is lying to me and I can't be sincere with anyone. I sleep while hugging a pillow thinking that it is my love, I'm in a dire longing for being comforted by someone. By someone who truly understands and cares deeply about me. I hate how I've become, no one will love me this way, but it's just how I am.