Anyone else avoid dating and relationships because of a physical or mental illness?

[Volatile]

i just don't see how anyone could enjoy my company for very long. I'm a shell of the shell I once was.

 

[thetwilightzone]

Involuntarily. I'm 20 and have never been in a relationship. Too ugly and too socially awkward. I've also never had any friends.

 

[Razz_Goku]

Yea , i had a girl who was obsessed over me .Yandere style but did not started relationship with her because i was very creeped out from her.

 

[Soon4me]

We all have our flaws.But after reading your threads.I just don't see how anyone could NOT enjoy your company.

Spoiler: Example

Although seriously you need to seek help regarding this.

Spoiler

I avoid dating and relationships because of a physical problem.
And because of this physical problem i now have mental problems also.
In my case there is no cure.I've tried a lot of specialists etc.

Spoiler

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

My ugliness, SPD and anxiety prevent me from forming any kind of deep, emotional connections with people. I simply can't imagine being in a relationship.
Love is for other people, it's something that happens in movies and books, not in my life. I don't even daydream about it anymore, cause what's the point.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

Yes. I have an embarrassing condition.

I also have trouble regulating my emotions, I don't enjoy doing much and feel rather inept.

 

[Slacker]

maybe its true when they say u can't love others if u dont love yourself, because deeply inside I hate myself. I just dont want to be like I am. I have absolutely no self confidence. I try to make jokes to relax a bit and I think that women dont like this. Im like a clown. a sad clown. miserable. Even if there someone who likes me... I just can't believe it...because I hate myself so much. I wish I could just be together with someone. I miss skin contact so much. Its not about sex... just touching someone would be great... but there is this Great Wall I just can't get over it...

 

[GodKnows]

I used to seek a relationship but then I became addicted to escorts.

 

[skyofAuroras]

I've avoided relationships because I don't want anyone to have to deal with my bullshit. I'm 20 and have never been in a relationship. Plus I doubt anyone would even want me.

 

[Meena]

I am bipolar and dating is a luxury i can't afford. And sincerly i don't miss that.

 

[Meena]

I advice people with mental illness to be very careful before any relationship because we can be an easy prey for manipulative people

 

[CRM]

I stopped caring about romantic relationships years ago. They don't even work for the majority of "normal" people. It's just inviting more pain and disappointment.

 

[Smilla]

I stopped caring about romantic relationships years ago. They don't even work for the majority of "normal" people. It's just inviting more pain and disappointment.

This. The last thing I want is a "relationship".

Sex basically disgusts me anyway.

 

[SnowyDreams]

I have never been in a romantic or similar relationship and I'm not interested in its dynamics, but I'd like to have a close relationship with someone. Yet the few friends I had either moved away for work or simply drifted away from me, too busy with their children and work and their other friends too.... every other friend is more important than me. I stopped trying to reach them because they take so long to reply and say they never have any time to meet ... anyway. I don't think I blame them because people usually like happy people. They only like me when I'm happy which is never. So they got tired. And I don't have much to offer. I have zero emotional stability, I don't even know what my personality is anymore, I don't really know who I am and I don't enjoy many things anymore, either. It's really boring and not very safe for your mental stability to be with me tbh.

 

[FullFat]

Yep. 25 female and never had sex. I used to kick myself for being ugly and/or unlikable, but I've realized now that I actively avoid relationships, and I am not very keen on having sex outside one no matter how much I argue with myself about it. I'm not ugly and I'm decent enough socially to manage a one night stand, but the motivation just isn't there. Requires more trust from me than I will ever have.

And if I think a one night stand is too risky and requires too much trust, how the hell would I spring for a relationship? One that is bound to fail?

I just look at my parents' shitty marriage and can't see how it could be worth it. They haven't slept together for as long as I can remember. If my mother weren't religious, I think she would have aborted me and GTFO. That's what she should have done.

I don't know how my dad feels about inflicting his mental illness on everyone else, about trapping someone and ruining their life, but I am unwilling to do that. Whatever has fucked up our brains ends with me.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

i just don't see how anyone could enjoy my company for very long. I'm a shell of the shell I once was.

I'm the same … it wouldn't last. You can't hide your true self indefinitely. I prefer as much alone time as I can get. ;)

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Involuntarily. I'm 20 and have never been in a relationship. Too ugly and too socially awkward. I've also never had any friends.

I'm ugly and socially awkward but I have been in some relationships. Obviously they didn't work out & I'm happier being single than with someone. I'm still miserable enough that I want to die but I think I would be more miserable if I was with someone.

 

[Volatile]

I advice people with mental illness to be very careful before any relationship because we can be an easy prey for manipulative people

How would a partner manipulate a person with childhood trauma/ ptsd/ depression/ ocd/ anxiety?

 

[Meena]

How would a partner manipulate a person with childhood trauma/ ptsd/ depression/ ocd/ anxiety?

I don't know but we can be manipulated by people in general not only by partners.
From my side i was manipulated by my psychiatrist who destroyed my family.
I was a good mum. But my ex manipulated the system by saying i am not capable of taking care of my son who lives now in another country with his father.
In my last job my colleagues noticed i was very shy and not in control so they complicated things for me and i had to quit.
We shouldn't show any of our weakness to anybody. In order survive in this society u need to be though

 

[and 10 others]

I never had any problem in having a relationship with someone, actually it's quite easy if you try to see it from their perspective (be calm, confident and flexible). But I realized something that made me don't want to persuade any serious relationship with others.

At first I thought the reason for having relationship is just getting close to someone and disclosing your thoughts/concerns with them. I just nonchalantly made friends and every time when the person I was talking with heard about real me, they got shocked or acted weird, like I was terminally ill or on my death bed. I hated it when they looked down on me. I wanted them to understand me. I couldn't talk about my real problems with them or be my real self. I just had to lie when I was around them. Maybe I expected too much of them. I faked everything in my life so others won't bother me.

Of course I asked for help but the people who were suppose to help needed help more than me. I couldn't solve my problems, I tried real hard, but it wasn't good enough. My plans to save myself didn't work. I couldn't help myself. I didn't change much.

Now I don't care anymore. I lived my life and I'm good to go.

 

[Susannah]

I used to be supersosial, outgoing, popular. Had a lot of "offers", boys, men. Girls wanted to be friends. I think people in general are a bit stupid. Sounds very arrogant, but I hide it well. Really hate shit- chatting, bullshit, narrow-minded thoughts. After being injured 2y ago, I got used to be alone, liked it and will never have a serious relation again. Don't even miss sex.

 

[Volatile]

I don't know but we can be manipulated by people in general not only by partners.
From my side i was manipulated by my psychiatrist who destroyed my family.
I was a good mum. But my ex manipulated the system by saying i am not capable of taking care of my son who lives now in another country with his father.
In my last job my colleagues noticed i was very shy and not in control so they complicated things for me and i had to quit.
We shouldn't show any of our weakness to anybody. In order survive in this society u need to be though

How do I avoid showing weakness? I can't keep it in

 

[Robert prosser]

i just don't see how anyone could enjoy my company for very long. I'm a shell of the shell I once was.

Yes I lost my girlfriend last year

 

[Volatile]

I never had any problem in having a relationship with someone, actually it's quite easy if you try to see it from their perspective (be calm, confident and flexible). But I realized something that made me don't want to persuade any serious relationship with others.

At first I thought the reason for having relationship is just getting close to someone and disclosing your thoughts/concerns with them. I just nonchalantly made friends and every time when the person I was talking with heard about real me, they got shocked or acted weird, like I was terminally ill or on my death bed. I hated it when they looked down on me. I wanted them to understand me. I couldn't talk about my real problems with them or be my real self. I just had to lie when I was around them. Maybe I expected too much of them. I faked everything in my life so others won't bother me.

Of course I asked for help but the people who were suppose to help needed help more than me. I couldn't solve my problems, I tried real hard, but it wasn't good enough. My plans to save myself didn't work. I couldn't help myself. I didn't change much.

Now I don't care anymore. I lived my life and I'm good to go.

I'm always honest and show 'real me' because I want people to understand. It always pushes people away. I don't know how to be fake

 

[KCN]

Yes, I don't have anything interesting to offer to those I would potentially like

 

[Cold]

I'm 25 now and never been close to being in a relationship. Never been kissed, hugged or even had my hand held. Never really had any friends either. I'm a ghost to other people. I feel like I'm alone in the entire universe. I've been crushed by this loneliness for so long I've completely given up. I hate it.

 

[Tiburcio]

Not exactly. I avoid them because "normal" people has nothing to offer me and I find them very tiring. Social interaction with society causes me two different effects: or I'm bored and not interested at all in the shit they are telling to me or I notice how miserable the average person is, I get enraged and I want to kill somebody.

For my own sake, I don't interact with them.

 

[Meena]

How do I avoid showing weakness? I can't keep it in

Same for me.

 

[and 10 others]

I'm always honest and show 'real me' because I want people to understand. It always pushes people away. I don't know how to be fake

I want them to understand but I think most of the times it's not possible. Have some patient. That's one thing I realized in my first attempts. It's strange how people like to put up an act most of the times. I think they are somewhat insecure. I do have respect for others and I try not to throw my problems on them, but whenever I shared my real thoughts with my closest friends, I felt it scared them away. Perhaps it wasn't something they expected and they didn't know how to react. So they panicked or tried to be too nice to me.

As for how to fake it, it's easy. They are humans just like you. They too have feelings like you. First look at what they do or what they talk about. You can do some research on those subjects. Fashion, movies, celebrities, sports, games, etc. You'll find something in common with them. Try to stress on is interesting for them and let them talk on subjects they like the most. These are the first steps.

They send so many signals, it's hard to decide which one to pick and take the conversation from there. It's so tiresome sometimes and I have to repeat everything in my mind to see why it went that way.

 

[killmepls]

physical= ugly
mental= social anxiety
no friends
I think it is a miracle I am not a virgin, I was lucky enough to have been with a few girls (not for very long). I had a good girlfriend at one point but fucked it up with her I am still kicking myself over it. I haven't had sex in years. I do not try very hard anymore to get girls as it is pointless. I just try to flirt with girls I encounter to feed off their feminine energy, it never goes anywhere. Seriously considering getting a fembot to fill the hole in my life