Anyone else attempting soon?

[tabarô]

Maybe this week cause my Sn should arrive and now i'm trying to get peace with my decision even so I know that Will hurt my mom and others...

 

[Lawliet]

When it came to my last attempt at an attempt I didn't even make it to the hotel I had booked! This time I have a house to myself. I have to go because my father will be picking me up as I am looking after the cat and fish, ( If I choose to pass I will be leaving out extra provisions for the fish and cat don't worry,) so that gets me one step closer. If I manage to take all the preliminary meds and don't go through with the sn I will still be happy because I came one step closer to my goal.

Anyone else attempting soon?

i know this sounds silly but make sure to close the room you CTB in because cats are known to eat their owners if they are starving and the owner is dead.

 

[Hope:-)]

i know this sounds silly but make sure to close the room you CTB in because cats are known to eat their owners if they are starving and the owner is dead.

I'm leaving out extra provisions for the cat and fish I will be looking after until I go, (or if I go,) so they won't go hungry x

 

[Cerulea]

Well, it certainly seems like there's something in the water for several of us. I've hit a wall, emotionally. I just cannot take this anymore. I have my meds set aside and my SN portioned out. I'm doing my best to keep my shit together. It's not the survival instinct that's freaking me out. 50 ml of water is basically a shot. I can take a shot no problem.

I scheduled an email to reach someone important to me on Friday morning. That gives me time to recover if I need it, and gives me time to not be found. It's also a short enough window that my body can be found before it gets too far along.

I've been obsessing for a week. I gotta get out of here. It's not even about my life. I look at the news and I'm just so fully convinced that was this world has to offer is simply not for me. I don't belong here. Send me back to the stars.

We'll see. I have a good five hours to wait before I can see what I'm made of.

 

[Hope:-)]

Well, it certainly seems like there's something in the water for several of us. I've hit a wall, emotionally. I just cannot take this anymore. I have my meds set aside and my SN portioned out. I'm doing my best to keep my shit together. It's not the survival instinct that's freaking me out. 50 ml of water is basically a shot. I can take a shot no problem.

I scheduled an email to reach someone important to me on Friday morning. That gives me time to recover if I need it, and gives me time to not be found. It's also a short enough window that my body can be found before it gets too far along.

I've been obsessing for a week. I gotta get out of here. It's not even about my life. I look at the news and I'm just so fully convinced that was this world has to offer is simply not for me. I don't belong here. Send me back to the stars.

We'll see. I have a good five hours to wait before I can see what I'm made of.

I know what you mean about the obsessing- that bit is awful. Thinking of you on this difficult day xx

 

[Sourdough]

When it came to my last attempt at an attempt I didn't even make it to the hotel I had booked! This time I have a house to myself. I have to go because my father will be picking me up as I am looking after the cat and fish, ( If I choose to pass I will be leaving out extra provisions for the fish and cat don't worry,) so that gets me one step closer. If I manage to take all the preliminary meds and don't go through with the sn I will still be happy because I came one step closer to my goal.

Anyone else attempting soon?

Still trying to find a source for good heroin to inject. Also need to practice injecting with needles bought from the chemist

 

[Cerulea]

I know what you mean about the obsessing- that bit is awful. Thinking of you on this difficult day xx

Likewise. My thoughts are with you. Sending you comfort and fortitude. If you choose to stay, I hope the intrusive thoughts quiet down. It's agony.

 

[Hope:-)]

Likewise. My thoughts are with you. Sending you comfort and fortitude. If you choose to stay, I hope the intrusive thoughts quiet down. It's agony.

Thanks. Yup, agony.xx

 

[Hope:-)]

Feeling kind of scared today. Committing suicide is SO different to how I thought it was when I wasn't suicidal.

 

[emgrl]

Feeling kind of scared today. Committing suicide is SO different to how I thought it was when I wasn't suicidal.

Same… movies/shows definitely romanticize CTB. I miss being non-suicidal.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

The plan is to acquire the SN this month, really soon. And hopefully I'll die by December when it arrives. For AEs I think i have a good idea as well. If I fail with this I'll just go to the local hardware store, buy a rope and just hang myself. My SI lowered considerably this past few months. I could do it right now with no second thoughts if I had the means in front of me. Probably due to my mind being so rotten by these issues I have. Even the guilt regarding my family is fading away.

 

[lionetta12]

I wanted to CTB in August, but someone put stupid optimism and hope in me that made me look forward to the future with them and the fact that it took a while to get my SN made me reconsider. Well, they left me again now, permanently it seems. That + some other things that happened 2 hours ago that completely ruins my life and make it unliveable in every way and torturos from tomorrow off if I keep on living any further, makes it impossible for me to continue on with this life. So I guess I will be going any day now.

 

[notmuchtimeleft27]

I want to do it asap. The only problem is making sure I get it in one go, with an acceptable amount of comfort. It's all set up but I want to make sure I can't escape after it starts. I have a secluded room that's blocked off, so getting to me won't be easy, but I don't want to give up and be found trying.

 

[Hope:-)]

I've said I'll leave out enough food for the cats. Someone is potentially going to die here so...

Today is hard. I have to keep some of the reasons I want to ctb to myself as I don't want to upset anyone but that also leaves me feeling resentful and lonely. The medication is being reduced which makes me feel better and makes things easier to do but also serves to remind me of how much it's damaged me over the years, Just a hard day so far. I have to be strong and be determined to do this .xx

 

[emgrl]

I've said I'll leave out enough food for the cats. Someone is potentially going to die here so...

Today is hard. I have to keep some of the reasons I want to ctb to myself as I don't want to upset anyone but that also leaves me feeling resentful and lonely. The medication is being reduced which makes me feel better and makes things easier to do but also serves to remind me of how much it's damaged me over the years, Just a hard day so far. I have to be strong and be determined to do this .xx

The cats and fish will be fine. I'm sure you'll leave enough food/water out for each. If you want an extra precaution, be in a closed room away from the cat.

This is a safe place for you to vent your reasons for wanting to ctb, if that upsets someone, that's not on you. You can't control how someone else feels. Please be true to yourself, always

 

[Hope:-)]

The cat is not a house cat btw guys; so she won't come in the room x

 

[emgrl]

The cat is not a house cat btw guys; so she won't come in the room x

Ohhhh! Then you really have nothing to worry about x

 

[Hope:-)]

Lots of love btw to everyone attempting soon. I don't know what the future holds for us but hopefully it will be a bit better than what we have now xx

 

[Hope:-)]

The cats and fish will be fine. I'm sure you'll leave enough food/water out for each. If you want an extra precaution, be in a closed room away from the cat.

This is a safe place for you to vent your reasons for wanting to ctb, if that upsets someone, that's not on you. You can't control how someone else feels. Please be true to yourself, always

Oh the post about graphic eating of my body by cats got deleted so now I just look like I got upset for no reason, but that's ok.Lol.

Yeah, but I'm aware that people in my life may stumble upon these posts one day. I'm going to keep it to myself I think. X

 

[emgrl]

Oh the post about graphic eating of my body by cats got deleted so now I just look like I got upset for no reason, but that's ok.Lol.

Yeah, but I'm aware that people in my life may stumble upon these posts one day. I'm going to keep it to myself I think. X

I saw the comment that was posted about the "graphic eating". It was unpleasant and upsetting, probably why it was taken down? Hope you're feeling better about things, especially since it's an outdoor cat. They're more interested in catching their prey anyway, they'd be happier eating mice. Plus, that sort of thing happens over time, days and weeks, not mere hours.

It's better to keep stuff to yourself anyway, hard lessons learned in life. X

 

[Hollowillow]

Same… movies/shows definitely romanticize CTB. I miss being non-suicidal.

People romanticize ctb here too, at least idealize sn... I don't think someone can prepare for the worst case scenario with that mindset... And about dying... It can go very wrong not to prepare properly... I'm terrified... Denial won't help me find solutions... Right now... I hurt real bad... I crued twice but the tears were too acid... I'm so alone and scared... It's hard to reach out and risk ruinning friendships

Oh the post about graphic eating of my body by cats got deleted so now I just look like I got upset for no reason, but that's ok.Lol.

Yeah, but I'm aware that people in my life may stumble upon these posts one day. I'm going to keep it to myself I think. X

I wish I was eaten by wolves. We are what we eat so we become what eats us.
.
I'm sad to see you go... I think people in this post left without a goodbye thread... The sadness of the universe is just too heavy. But I'm glad I met you. You can share with us

 

[emgrl]

People romanticize ctb here too, at least idealize sn... I don't think someone can prepare for the worst case scenario with that mindset... And about dying... It can go very wrong not to prepare properly... I'm terrified... Denial won't help me find solutions... Right now... I hurt real bad... I crued twice but the tears were too acid... I'm so alone and scared... It's hard to reach out and risk ruinning friendships

I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. I feel alone and scared, too. It's very hard to ruin a true friendship, please don't fear reaching out, always reach out… hugggggs ♡

 

[Hope:-)]

Thanks for the responses. Is anyone attempting mid October? I'm attempting October 16th. x

 

[Hollowillow]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. I feel alone and scared, too. It's very hard to ruin a true friendship, please don't fear reaching out, always reach out… hugggggs ♡

Thank you *hugs you whimpering and cring* I'm so sad to see people go, but relieved for them too... You're all so brave... I'm still in denial that I could be saved... I mourn my own life... It's horrible. Thank you for hugging me *hugs you tight*

Thanks for the responses. Is anyone attempting mid October? I'm attempting October 16th. x

Maybe not... I wish we could all celebrate halloween together. See the lanterns at the botanic garden. Eat candy. I'm so sad to see you go. Have some threat while you go *hugs you* hope is going... How tragic is that... Actually crying... Kinda feels good since we're together. I hope it will go well for you.

 

[emgrl]

Thank you *hugs you whimpering and cring* I'm so sad to see people go, but relieved for them too... You're all so brave... I'm still in denial that I could be saved... I mourn my own life... It's horrible. Thank you for hugging me *hugs you tight*

You can be saved if you want to, you're brave too! I'm not going anywhere hun… I wish you weren't crying, but I get it. Hugggs hun, it'll be ok ♡

 

[Hope:-)]

Hollowillow- That's very sweet, but I'll be ok. Thanks for your thoughts xx :-)

 

[Leemel]

I wish.

 

[Hope:-)]

How is everyone who's attempting soon?

 

[donelurking123]

Yes when I get my package is sn 98.5% pure enough ?

 

[almaranthine]

Yeah, I have to attempt soon... before the holidays hit. I know I will "ruin" these festivities for the rest of my few family member's lives regardless of how early I go through with it... but it makes me feel less guilty to attempt before November is in full swing. I can't CTB at my apartment because 1) I absolutely hate this place and don't want to die here and 2) it could be days before anyone finds me and decides to come check... so it's got to be a hotel, and I realize that will really suck for the hotel worker but these things happen, people die, and at least my body won't look gory and bloodied... at the end of the day, someone has to find you.