Anyone else addicted to Maladaptive Daydeaming?

[Crystal Labeija]

More about maladaptive daydreaming: https://digest.bps.org.uk/2018/06/2...f-four-hours-a-day-lost-in-their-imagination/

This perfectly describes me: "I have been lost in a daydream for as long as I can remember….These daydreams tend to be stories…for which I feel real emotion, usually happiness or sadness, which have the ability to make me laugh and cry…They're as important a part of my life as anything else; I can spend hours alone with my daydreams….I am careful to control my actions in public so it is not evident that my mind is constantly spinning these stories and I am constantly lost in them."

In other words, MDD is when you become addicted to a fantasy about your future. You find yourself setting aside time to engage in DD'ing. You might even avoid social interactions just to DD.

How is this not a recognized mental illness? MDD is literally at the root of my suicidal ideation. It set up me up for unrealistic expectations about the future, only to turn that future into a massive disappointment. It has ruined my life.

 

[Soul]

I've been doing it all my life - I only heard it was "maladaptive" from an earlier thread on this fine forum. I quite like it, though.

 

[inconsequential]

"Maladaptive"

I didn't know anything was fuckin' wrong until that article told me so.

 

[Slenderman]

I have a whole different life in my had. I've started when I was in elementary school. Have had imaginary boyfriends, friends, different family members, whole neighbors, all that good shit. Of course I can differentiate reality from imagination but I literally get attached to imaginary people. Sometimes I'll skip my responsabilities to just stay and draydream for hours.

 

[Soul]

Here's that previous thread about it:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...eate-their-own-imaginary-world-reality.15883/

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

I used to be before I got addicted to my phone

 

[lululoo]

In retrospect, this is how I got through most of my crap life. Really intense day dreaming about various guys I was into that I wanted to love me. daydreaming (and dreams at night) was better than any reality.

I haven't done it in the past ~5 years because there is no hope any more. I'll start doing it like an old reflex but then it dies after .2 seconds when I remember the futility.

 

[Ramirez]

I day dream for many hours everyday ever since my family kinda abondend me aswell it does help when times get really bad to just get a break from all the negative things. I think it only becomes a problem when it fucks up other aspects of your life but for me there is nothing left to fuck up lol.

 

[blanketyblk]

My God, is that was what i do is called? i''ve always done it. i created whole words in my mind and process myself though it. from little kid to teenage to middle age and even dying of old age. Trying out different scenarios to see if they would of came to the same conclusion as my real life. i alter real life events and see if i could of changed the outcome. simply amazing that it is actually a thing!

I can keep a single fantasy world in my mind going for weeks, can even force myself to dream about it. and yes i get a ton of enjoyment from it.

 

[Crystal Labeija]

My God, is that was what i do is called? i''ve always done it. i created whole words in my mind and process myself though it. from little kid to teenage to middle age and even dying of old age. Trying out different scenarios to see if they would of came to the same conclusion as my real life. i alter real life events and see if i could of changed the outcome. simply amazing that it is actually a thing!

I can keep a single fantasy world in my mind going for weeks, can even force myself to dream about it. and yes i get a ton of enjoyment from it.

It's the primary source of joy in my life. I've actually sometimes left social gatherings just to engage in it. It's addictive. Now I know what it is called.

 

[Aliaiactaest]

Never heard of it. But I do it when I am depressed and not otherwise. Been doing it a lot lately.

 

[Random]

It isn't officially recognized because they believe daydreaming to be a symptom of an underlying disorder. ADHD/ADD (inattention subset) and OCD are the two most commonly mentioned. I understand the ADHD connection because music and pacing are my thing, I can't sit still for any length of time. Plus it responds to dietary changes. Drugs, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and sugar (anything that's fun basically) all compound the problem.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

You find yourself setting aside time to engage in DD'ing. You might even avoid social interactions just to DD.

Well, I do daydream sometimes when I'm outside taking a walk or riding my bike. It kind of just happens. But I don't go out of my way to engage in it. I'm not sure where you draw the line.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I've been doing this for a few years, it was a great way to cope with depression but then it kind of spiraled out of control when I realized it was so much better than reality. It was so difficult picking between this life and living in perfect dreams that I caved most of the time. I just thought if I'm going to ctb anyway, why stop?

The hardest part about cutting it out is I forget I'm even doing it, then I constantly have to pull myself away in the middle of dreams. It's uncomfortably unsatisfying.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yes because that's all I have left anymore. That and I'm constantly asking myself "Where did it all go wrong?" I alternate between the two.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

More about maladaptive daydreaming: https://digest.bps.org.uk/2018/06/2...f-four-hours-a-day-lost-in-their-imagination/

This perfectly describes me: "I have been lost in a daydream for as long as I can remember….These daydreams tend to be stories…for which I feel real emotion, usually happiness or sadness, which have the ability to make me laugh and cry…They're as important a part of my life as anything else; I can spend hours alone with my daydreams….I am careful to control my actions in public so it is not evident that my mind is constantly spinning these stories and I am constantly lost in them."

In other words, MDD is when you become addicted to a fantasy about your future. You find yourself setting aside time to engage in DD'ing. You might even avoid social interactions just to DD.

How is this not a recognized mental illness? MDD is literally at the root of my suicidal ideation. It set up me up for unrealistic expectations about the future, only to turn that future into a massive disappointment. It has ruined my life.

I can relate. Even as a kid, I was that child all the teachers described as "lost in her own little world." My imagination was a coping mechanism that allowed me to escape from the everyday reality of living with my parents.

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't daydream, but I have something maybe a bit similar.

Once I feel instinctively that I have lost my voice with someone who matters to me (if they close off emotionally), I keep thinking of ways to get things across to them, whatever else I am doing in the moment. Endlessly looking for the right words. I am too rational to write pages long platitudes, or kick up a fight or something. So I just keep processing like a broken machine until I find the few, brief words, the perfect example, to get it the fuck across to them.

My mind has a great capacity to handle a lot of data to find a solution. If that is channeled into a useful thing, like creating an intellectual product, it works perfectly well. But if it is channeled into human relationships, it just goes into a loop. Because humans are not rational and there are no words to make it alright when they get defensive and stop their ears, so to say.

We are all faulty machinery, and life is a cruel joke.

 

[Zer031]

My God, is that was what i do is called? i''ve always done it. i created whole words in my mind and process myself though it. from little kid to teenage to middle age and even dying of old age. Trying out different scenarios to see if they would of came to the same conclusion as my real life. i alter real life events and see if i could of changed the outcome. simply amazing that it is actually a thing!

I can keep a single fantasy world in my mind going for weeks, can even force myself to dream about it. and yes i get a ton of enjoyment from it.

Yeaah, that's amazing, i can too, force myself to continue the fantasy, it's such an wonderfull thing.

 

[Darkhaven]

Well i had never heard about it, but it sounds very similar to the life ideations that i have been having my whole life as an escape from this reality.
I often find myself drifted away in my head picturing me having a perfect life, full of sucess, riches, women, eternal youth, health and everything else that a man can desire.
I tend to "disconnect" myself from my surroundings while i'm at it.
It happens a lot while i'm on the train.

 

[Tragoedia Vitae]

Yeah, I've been doing that since I was three years old. It's such an engrained part of my life now. I honestly can't imagine what my life would be like without it. I remember my birthday-----I was four years old, and there was a party at my home, and the kids from preschool were there. I got more upset and irritable the longer the party dragged on because I wanted to get back to my dreaming right away. I kept on asking my mom when the party would end----I wanted the other kids to leave. And as soon as they did, I could dream again and I immediately felt better.

For me, maladaptive daydreaming is like a short-term but addictive fix. It makes the grim mundane reality of life a little less crushing, a little more bearable. I probably would have died a long time ago without it. At the same time, it also encourages me to obsess and ruminate over things endlessly.

 

[EmptySteph62]

I would say the majority of my day is spent inside my imagination from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, with only gaps where I'm really here. I often have memory blanks where j dont remember doing anything I only remember my daydreams and yet I'll have taken lecture notes or cleaned the house or something. It's both terrifying and interesting.
I never knew this was a bad thing before... I always thought it was just part of my depression.

 

[KiraComplex]

I would say the majority of my day is spent inside my imagination from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, with only gaps where I'm really here. I often have memory blanks where j dont remember doing anything I only remember my daydreams and yet I'll have taken lecture notes or cleaned the house or something. It's both terrifying and interesting.
I never knew this was a bad thing before... I always thought it was just part of my depression.

It really is weird....
i read that apparently you can consciously black out during day dream sessions. Dont know why, it just happens.

 

[EmptySteph62]

It really is weird....
i read that apparently you can consciously black out during day dream sessions. Dont know why, it just happens.

Yeah it's like one second I'm eating breakfast and then I'm daydreaming and all of a sudden its 4 in the afternoon. And apparently I act the same and everything I just don't speak much. It is really weird...

 

[Jumper]

Yes, I am aware of this entity... I only learned of its name recently. But I've been doing it since I was a toddler, through teenage years, and into adulthood.

Typically, I concoct a scenario where a teacher/boss/crush is watching me succeed at something socially. It's odd. I jump around to music and mildly enact some scenes. It seems to be provoked by music. It's certainly very addictive, and there's a compulsive component to it. I actually feel high. I've definitely skipped social interactions and responsibilities just to do it. I even banned myself from music for a while, due to time lost to the addiction.

This has always been a secret. I liken it to masturbation.

One day, during my marriage, I noticed it had stopped, and that I hadn't done it for a long time. I concluded that being in a reciprocal loving relationship obviated the need for it. It returned after my divorce, and disappeared transiently in the context of another relationship. Anyhow... I'm back to doing it constantly.

 

[GreyMonkey]

More about maladaptive daydreaming: https://digest.bps.org.uk/2018/06/2...f-four-hours-a-day-lost-in-their-imagination/

This perfectly describes me: "I have been lost in a daydream for as long as I can remember….These daydreams tend to be stories…for which I feel real emotion, usually happiness or sadness, which have the ability to make me laugh and cry…They're as important a part of my life as anything else; I can spend hours alone with my daydreams….I am careful to control my actions in public so it is not evident that my mind is constantly spinning these stories and I am constantly lost in them."

In other words, MDD is when you become addicted to a fantasy about your future. You find yourself setting aside time to engage in DD'ing. You might even avoid social interactions just to DD.

How is this not a recognized mental illness? MDD is literally at the root of my suicidal ideation. It set up me up for unrealistic expectations about the future, only to turn that future into a massive disappointment. It has ruined my life.

Yep. This totally describes me. I used to always fantasise about life getting better - creating a community, developing mad skills, having an amazing relationship... All the while avoiding doing the things that would actually get me there.

All those fantasies have fallen away now and I'm left in the crushing reality of how shit my life actually is and without the ability to make it better.

Daydreaming is definitely a compensatory method to avoid early childhood pain.

 

[JWL]

Thank God for this!

I just woke up this morning and realised I've been in a MD for years and years.

But now that I'm fully awake at last I can get back to my millions, huge country estate and Rolls.

 

[Hennessy]

This thread is very interesting and I have learned something from it. Thank you for writing this!

I have been daydreaming for many years now. Never discussed it with anyone. I was a little embarrassed over it. I thought it wasn't a normal thing to do. I usually do it at work, and I also did a lot of it back in school. I'm doing it to escape boredom and unhappiness.