Anyone eles hopless,depressed and lonely?

[Saiti]

I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for nearly a decade now. I have health problems which cause me to be subjected to ridicule and humiliation by both strangers and family, and is the cause of my anxiety and depression. As a result, I have become a recluse and rarely leave my home except to go to the doctor. My father died a couple months ago and my mother moved our family in. When shes not around they bully and gossip about me nonstop so i just stay in my room now. I feel so alone and being isolated is driving me insane.

I wake up with no goals or nothing to look forward to in life except an end to my suffering. I am 22 and feel so hopeless. I tried to kill my self at age 19 going on 20 by taking a 48 pill pack of benadryl. I was starving my self for weeks from anorexica and slim so i figured it would be enough. After taking the pills,i tucked myself into bed. My sibling found me collapsed in the hallway having a seizure and called the police. That sibling later told me i should've killed myself during an arguement, as if i wasnt trying when they rudely interrupted me.

After taking the benadryl i was admitted to the hospital having had several seizures. I spent 2 or 3 days handcuffed to a bed experiencing complete psychosis and defecated and peed on my self. I halucinated things like lizards, bug, dark male malvolent figures in corners of the room. I dont remember any of it just taking the pills and going to bed. I was carted off to a mental hospital on a 72hr hold when the halucinations stopped. 3 years later i wished i simply died that day.

 

[JoeFailure]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. You're really young and I know how hard it must seem, but if you can get out of that house you really have a chance at starting a new life away from all that.

Do you have any way to get a job? Really any kind of job. And just save up enough to get an apartment, no matter how cheap it is, and just be able to start there and get away from all that.

 

[Saiti]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. You're really young and I know how hard it must seem, but if you can get out of that house you really have a chanc

I'm really sorry to hear about this. You're really young and I know how hard it must seem, but if you can get out of that house you really have a chance at starting a new life away from all that.

Do you have any way to get a job? Really any kind of job. And just save up enough to get an apartment, no matter how cheap it is, and just be able to start there and get away from all that.

Ive been trying recently to get a job and have 2 interviews next week. Im not sure if they'll hire me with my problems though and will probably feel even more hopelessness and deeper sadness if im rejected. My mother is worried ill kill my self if im on my own and she's probably right.

 

[TowerUpright]

I'm sorry to hear your ordeal, and even more sorry about the emotional pain you must be going through. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[JoeFailure]

Ive been trying recently to get a job and have 2 interviews next week. Im not sure if they'll hire me with my problems though and will probably feel even more hopelessness and deeper sadness if im rejected. My mother is worried ill kill my self if im on my own and she's probably right.

It's good if you can get a job, be around other people. Do you have any hobbies and things you can do after work? Or even now at home? Are you also able to get any kind of financial assistant from your mom or even just borrow to be able to do those things until you get a job and stuff?

Sometimes it's good just to start filling up your time and get out on your own. There are a lot of people your age that end up feeling much better about life once they can do that.

 

[Saiti]

I dont really asked my mom for money i have a little to buy things i want. Im pretty depressed and dont really have any hobbies except for maybe mindlessly watching tv and browsing the internet. I have extreme social anxiety so i usually go out only to have a mental breakdown when i get home. I appreciate you advice though :)

It's good if you can get a job, be around other people. Do you have any hobbies and things you can do after work? Or even now at home? Are you also able to get any kind of financial assistant from your mom or even just borrow to be able to do those things until you get a job and stuff?

Sometimes it's good just to start filling up your time and get out on your own. There are a lot of people your age that end up feeling much better about life once they can do that.

been trying recently to get a job and have 2 interviews next week. Im not sure if they'll hire me with my problems though and will probably feel even more hopelessness and deeper sadness if im rejected. My mother is worried ill kill my self if im on my own and she's probably right.o cry when

I dont really asked my mom for money i have a little from a college saving i never used to buy things i want. Im pretty depressed and dont really have any hobbies except for maybe mindlessly watching tv and browsing the internet. I have extreme social anxiety so i usually go out only to have a mental breakdown when i get home. I appreciate you advice though :)


been trying recently to get a job and have 2 interviews next week. Im not sure if they'll hire me with my problems though and will probably feel even more hopelessness and deeper sadness if im rejected. My mother is worried ill kill my self if im on my own and she's probably right.o cry when

 

[GameIsSkewed]

been trying recently to get a job and have 2 interviews next week. Im not sure if they'll hire me with my problems though and will probably feel even more hopelessness and deeper sadness if im rejected. My mother is worried ill kill my self if im on my own and she's probably right.o cry when

WOW, good thing your're trying to fight, I am too. I feel as though I will catch the bus if when I become independent from my parents and on my own things don't change and I don't find some piece in this life. There's a good chance I'm kidding myslef, ugh I just don't know...

 

[JoeFailure]

I dont really asked my mom for money i have a little to buy things i want. Im pretty depressed and dont really have any hobbies except for maybe mindlessly watching tv and browsing the internet. I have extreme social anxiety so i usually go out only to have a mental breakdown when i get home. I appreciate you advice though :)


been trying recently to get a job and have 2 interviews next week. Im not sure if they'll hire me with my problems though and will probably feel even more hopelessness and deeper sadness if im rejected. My mother is worried ill kill my self if im on my own and she's probably right.o cry when

You're doing the right thing. Your life can really change if you can get a job, away from home, and meet some people.

WOW, good thing your're trying to fight, I am too. I feel as though I will catch the bus if when I become independent from my parents and on my own things don't change and I don't find some piece in this life. There's a good chance I'm kidding myslef, ugh I just don't know...

You're not kidding yourself. You sound really young, just find a way to become independent and there's a good chance you can carve out a little niche for yourself in this world.

The biggest thing I can say to you young people is that there are tons of possibilities. Go after what you want. And save as much money as you can, that's probably the biggest reason I'm going to have to catch the bus for at age 35. I never understood what it was to be an adult. Even if you don't have a high paying job, if you're smart with your money you'll be totally fine.

 

[Saiti]

WOW, good thing your're trying to fight, I am too. I feel as though I will catch the bus if when I become independent from my parents and on my own things don't change and I don't find some piece in this life. There's a good chance I'm kidding myslef, ugh I just don't know...

/
Thank you even though i tried to kill my self 2 days ago by hanging, I still try to have a bit optimism, hope, and strength. You're fighting? Well I hope you become the champion :)

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Thanks for sharing, sorry you feel the way you do, our minds are terrible sometimes!

been trying recently to get a job and have 2 interviews next week. Im not sure if they'll hire me with my problems though and will probably feel even more hopelessness and deeper sadness if im rejected. My mother is worried ill kill my self if im on my own and she's probably right.o cry when

The main thing is your trying, sure you ll smash the interviews if not there will be plenty of other opportunities !

Also your siblings a dick for saying that to you!

 

[GameIsSkewed]

/
Thank you even though i tried to kill my self 2 days ago by hanging, I still try to have a bit optimism, hope, and strength. You're fighting? Well I hope you become the champion :)

I'm kinda fighting but I'm pretty much defeated. It must be my competitiveness. It's just the way I always was. I'm sure it's the reason I'm still alive. My logical mind tells me it's absolutely futilie to continue fighting the lost fight and I feel like the logic mind will have to take control sooner than later and I'll have to make the decision.

Thanks for heart warming words, I think I'll finally be a champion when I burn this world down. If some people are engulfed in problems while others are pursuing happiness and even bringing down those that never stood a chance, it's a bitter world then. The sweetness of victory in life is fake. How can I win and be happy when I know there are people out there like you who want to fight, but can't or are severely weighted down. I must be ignorant to think I've won. I don't want to drag a heavy burden my whole life while others are free to move. It makes no sense and it's not fair.

 

[durba1]

It drives me crazy how rude people are, moreover not only strangers but also family. I hope you can detach from them by making some good virtual friends & if you feel relieved then you can plan if it's possible to start your life over by finding a job & relocate somewhere.

 

[pane]

Saiti everyone here is some combination of hopeless, depressed and lonely, at the very least. For many of us, myself included, hopeless, depressed and lonely is our normal daily reality. I don't mean to be flippant.

 

[omoidarui]

i'm not hopeless, depressed or particularly lonely.


just don't want to grow up :<

 

[Pointlessabyss]

i'm not hopeless, depressed or particularly lonely.


just don't want to grow up :<

i don't recognise my emotions so can relate !

Growing up is a trap! Your mind never really gets old just the bio robot you control does

 

[Saiti]

Saiti everyone here is some combination of hopeless, depressed and lonely, at the very least. For many of us, myself included, hopeless, depressed and lonely is our normal daily reality. I don't mean to be flippant.

I dont take your comment as flippant. As a new member, I wanted to introduce myself & hear a bit of why others are here. I didn't really know how to phrase the title good.