Discussion Anyone disabled from a past attempt?

[Caspers]

I have a hypoxic brain injury from my last attempt, was under CPR (heart attack) for 42 minutes and lost everything including the ability to walk, talk, and all my memory. I now have small snapshots of my past, but that's about it. There are many other issues this injury has caused, I was wondering whether anyone else has become disabled from past suicide attempts? I would love to hear your answers

 

[L I F E T O L O S E]

the only thing that disable me is my cowardice

 

[bigdog]

wow man what was your method?

 

[BipolarGuy]

After my last overdose, I had severe memory issues.
This is normal following an overdose of what I took.
This cleared up within a few weeks, other than my memory isn't *quite* what it once was - I used to have a photographic memory.

 

[Ghost2211]

It makes me mad to hear people "save" people for advanced stages of hypoxia from drowning and hanging. It's stupid and selfish, and does the person no favors. I'm sorry you were put through that.

 

[Caspers]

wow man what was your method?

No clue, I was told early on but forgot. Tbh I don't want to remember. I didn't know it was an attempt at the start. I was taken out of ICU too early and had a second heart attack, that's the one that gave me the brain injury. Fuck the NHS

It makes me mad to hear people "save" people for advanced stages of hypoxia from drowning and hanging. It's stupid and selfish, and does the person no favors. I'm sorry you were put through that.

A few more minutes and I would have been a vegetable. A few minutes less and I would have my memory. Fine line

 

[bigdog]

After my last overdose, I had severe memory issues.
This is normal following an overdose of what I took.
This cleared up within a few weeks, other than my memory isn't *quite* what it once was - I used to have a photographic memory.

What tablets did you overdose?

 

[BipolarGuy]

What tablets did you overdose?

Sleeping medication.

 

[bigdog]

Sleeping medication.

Benzos? And you never recovered completely? How much did you take?

 

[BipolarGuy]

Benzos? And you never recovered completely? How much did you take?

No not benzos.
I'd rather not say what exactly.

I'm 'pretty much' back to normal, but there are some situations I now have to change how I used to do things.

I said above that I used to have a photographic memory.
My schedule used to be in my head, and I didn't feel that this was an effort, it was just natural. Now I have to write things down.
Another example is that unless I take notes during a long phone call, I won't remember every detail of what was discussed.
Other things happen as well that make me feel slightly uneasy. For instance I'll read a text from someone with the intention of replying later on. A couple of days later I'll come to look at the text again to reply, and I'll notice that I received it a few weeks or a month ago! But I genuinely though it was yesterday or a couple of days ago. I cannot explain this.

 

[Caspers]

No not benzos.
I'd rather not say what exactly.

I'm 'pretty much' back to normal, but there are some situations I now have to change how I used to do things.

I said above that I used to have a photographic memory.
My schedule used to be in my head, and I didn't feel that this was an effort, it was just natural. Now I have to write things down.
Another example is that unless I take notes during a long phone call, I won't remember every detail of what was discussed.
Other things happen as well that make me feel slightly uneasy. For instance I'll read a text from someone with the intention of replying later on. A couple of days later I'll come to look at the text again to reply, and I'll notice that I received it a few weeks or a month ago! But I genuinely though it was yesterday or a couple of days ago. I cannot explain this.

Looks like you may have gotten a bit of brain damage? If you exercise your brain, it should hopefully improve your memory. Chess, word puzzles and brain exercise games have really helped with my memory. Have you given that approach a go? The progression is slow, but an hour a day can make a big difference long term. I hope your brain goes back to normal some day

 

[BipolarGuy]

Looks like you may have gotten a bit of brain damage? If you exercise your brain, it should hopefully improve your memory. Chess, word puzzles and brain exercise games have really helped with my memory. Have you given that approach a go? The progression is slow, but an hour a day can make a big difference long term. I hope your brain goes back to normal some day

I talked with a psychologist about this once. I just raised the issue in the conversation.
She said that it is sometimes the case that people who take large overdoses experience a lack of oxygen to the brain.
I don't know why this would be because to my knowledge I never stopped breathing.

 

[Caspers]

I talked with a psychologist about this once. I just raised the issue in the conversation.
She said that it is sometimes the case that people who take large overdoses experience a lack of oxygen to the brain.
I don't know why this would be because to my knowledge I never stopped breathing.

I believe toxins can also cause brain damage, so that could be the case. Or maybe your breathing became more laboured/didn't give your brain enough oxygen?

 

[BipolarGuy]

I believe toxins can also cause brain damage, so that could be the case. Or maybe your breathing became more laboured/didn't give your brain enough oxygen?

I have no idea.
I'm not saying that this definitely happened, just that a psychologist said that this is known to sometimes happen.

 

[rt1989526]

I'm sorry this happened to you guys. I am concerned about failure it is a huge fear of mine. OP that is pretty crazy that you don't know what method you tried, I would be asking relentlessly.

 

[Caspers]

I'm sorry this happened to you guys. I am concerned about failure it is a huge fear of mine. OP that is pretty crazy that you don't know what method you tried, I would be asking relentlessly.

I don't like to think about it, it reminds me of my failures and I feel I could be judged by people if I said. I remember it was an OD of some drug with tequila, but no more.

Also I said goodbye to my online friends, one knew an IRL friend I was living with and alerted them. That's why I failed, if I had been discovered an hour later, I would be dead. Moral of the tale is don't say goodbye to anyone who knows your true identity.

I'd probably be in the same boat as @BipolarGuy in not wanting to say if I knew

 

[deleted]

I don't like to think about it, it reminds me of my failures and I feel I could be judged by people if I said. I remember it was an OD of some drug with tequila, but no more.

Also I said goodbye to my online friends, one knew an IRL friend I was living with and alerted them. That's why I failed, if I had been discovered an hour later, I would be dead. Moral of the tale is don't say goodbye to anyone who knows your true identity.

I'd probably be in the same boat as @BipolarGuy in not wanting to say if I knew

I would never sincerely forgive a friend like this, the few that I have are willing to help me with that they understand my pain

 

[tidalwxves]

I have a hypoxic brain injury from my last attempt, was under CPR (heart attack) for 42 minutes and lost everything including the ability to walk, talk, and all my memory. I now have small snapshots of my past, but that's about it. There are many other issues this injury has caused, I was wondering whether anyone else has become disabled from past suicide attempts? I would love to hear your answers

Thank you for sharing this, I think its important for this kind of information to be on the site as well. Are you comfortable sharing what method you choose that lead to this? That could help some users make an informed decision.

 

[Caspers]

Thank you for sharing this, I think its important for this kind of information to be on the site as well. Are you comfortable sharing what method you choose that lead to this? That could help some users make an informed decision.

I'm not certain wether you read my past comments, but if you haven't, here's a summary.
I lost all my memory. There are a few small snapshots, but nothing near that time. Very early on in my recovery (I couldn't remember the name of animals at this stage), I read I overdosed on something (I don't remember and even if I did, I stated I don't think I would be comfortable disclosing it). The only thing I remember is that tequila and some pills were involved. I have already stated that I can't remember and if I would, I don't think I'd be comfortable telling.

This is a very raw topic that before SS, I had only talked to one person about. Please read the comments and they will answer your questions.

 

[tidalwxves]

I'm not certain wether you read my past comments, but if you haven't, here's a summary.
I lost all my memory. There are a few small snapshots, but nothing near that time. Very early on in my recovery (I couldn't remember the name of animals at this stage), I read I overdosed on something (I don't remember and even if I did, I stated I don't think I would be comfortable disclosing it). The only thing I remember is that tequila and some pills were involved. I have already stated that I can't remember and if I would, I don't think I'd be comfortable telling.

This is a very raw topic that before SS, I had only talked to one person about. Please read the comments and they will answer your questions.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend, I did read your post but I am a bit sleep deprived and missed that part. I wasn't trying to add pressure. I do appreciate you sharing what you are comfortable with, these stories matter and you are very brave to come forward. I'm grateful for that.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Not legitimately disabled, but after I jumped my back hurts really bad to the point sometimes I sleep flat on the floor cause I can feel my spine shifting. And half my foot is paralyzed from cutting it in half / fell on one side so this side is kinda numb and my walk is wonky
I indeed was unable to walk normally for a few months