Anyone ctbing because of chronic pain/illness?

[ArtsyDrawer]

Epilepsy.
It's one of those diseases that, unless I'm going through a full-blown seizure, a full tonic-clonic (or grand mal), it's basically invisible.
I'm stuck in one job, and even that's because I managed to produce a good enough sob story to not get kicked out immediately at the first sight of seizures. It wasn't a sob story per-se, it was the absolute truth, but it was fucked up enough to count as one. I have a little "do not fire under any circumstances, this guy got fucked up real hard" in my file. At least that's what the previous boss told me. When the new boss arrived she quit because he's an asshole of his own caliber. I'm pondering quitting as well, but that'd basically be a very slow, very inefficient suicide.

 

[Jolene40]

Illness, and the most horrific pain has destroyed my life. I have lost so much function I am a living bloody zombie crying every second of every day. This is the only reason I want it to end. I have multiple illnesses but the worst is a sensory neuropathy which has been destroying sensory nerves through my body. Now it is through my neck skull face and inside sinuses and what feels like my brain. I feel in hell and want it to end. I don't want to die but this is a torture I don't believe many would have the strength to endure tbh

Not pain per se, but I have an incurable orthostatic condition. It basically means my blood pressure/pulse aren't normal. As soon as I stand up my BPM goes to 120 and my blood pressure tanks. Suffice to say I am always exhausted, dizzy, spaced out and weak. I feel like I've been hit with a tranquilizer dart, or that I'm sleepwalking. I spend most of my day in bed because of it. Coming up to five years of it now. It's not serious in the strictest sense of the word but it's ruined my quality of life.

I've got this bollocks too. It can floor you but so many doctors are ignorant to it and it's effects. I have severe bp drops, racing heart, exhaustion, adrenaline dumps and all the wonderful things that come with autonomic hell

 

[a.h]

I have had severe chronic nerve pain half of my life. I have had nde due to lack of air and in other accident I have lost estimated (by doctor who treated me) 4.5 liters of blood from severe traumas. Both were accidents. Other one was my fault, other one totally not. I felt no pain in either one. The blood loss and lack of air made me feel euphoric so that I couldn't feel any pain and felt better minute by minute. That's why I had nde because I felt too good to seek help in time. It took my chronic pain away too.

But I bet that more painfull dieing would be the same or less pain than daily life for those who don't have medicine that takes the pain away or during brakes from the painmedicine to keep the tolerance low. Nerve pain is equal to torture.

Illness, and the most horrific pain has destroyed my life. I have lost so much function I am a living bloody zombie crying every second of every day. This is the only reason I want it to end. I have multiple illnesses but the worst is a sensory neuropathy which has been destroying sensory nerves through my body. Now it is through my neck skull face and inside sinuses and what feels like my brain. I feel in hell and want it to end. I don't want to die but this is a torture I don't believe many would have the strength to endure tbh


I've got this bollocks too. It can floor you but so many doctors are ignorant to it and it's effects. I have severe bp drops, racing heart, exhaustion, adrenaline dumps and all the wonderful things that come with autonomic hell

 

[Ruffian]

Yes and no. At the moment I barely have physical pain except in my ankle that I broke earlier this year. Ive been consistently depressed and suicidal for the last 10 years though due to bipolar I that is mostly depressive, medication changes, drug abuse that is really self-medicating, but I've been conditioned by society to vilify myself, PTSD, and BPD. It all rolls together into one hell of a mental and emotional funk.

The chronic pain isn't chronic in that I don't have it all the time, but it's a combination of neuralgia, fibro, and osteoarthritis with a narrowing of my spinal column in the thoracic region. It comes and goes. It took me over 20 years to find a doctor to believe in my thoracic pain because 95% of people have pain in their lower back. Physical therapists and chiropractors told me I needed to learn how to relax. Plus I swear if you have a mental health diagnosis doctors think everything is in your head.. But that back pain.... it grabs the muscles around the area and goes all the way up into my neck. I even broke 3 ribs once and didn't know it because the pain wasn't high enough to even register. I still wouldn't know I did it, but it showed up on a bone scan for my spine. Sitting at a desk makes the pain unbearable if I have to for more than a couple hours at a time. Other times its out of the blue and when it gets going I would honestly go full-on shotgun without a thought. Gabapenitn, which is the poor man's Lyrica, has helped it a bit. My pain doctor refuses to give up, god bless her. But I have to use alternative channels thanks to opiate hysteria when things get horrible, and even they just take the edge off. The neuralgia is starting to go into my feet too - last winter if my feet got even a little cold I'd be crying from the pain - I actually had to buy foot warmers. I'm very sorry to hear the things people go through here and how awful doctors are. It's just somewhat comforting that other people have stuff doctors don't know what to do about. And I hate when they act like they're mad at you for being in pain or it's your fault they can't. That's why I came here initially wanting to ctb for depression, but I got a little better. I'm staying because I refuse to suffer until the bitter end with the physical. I want a peaceful method on hand, and hopefully even an alternative.

 

[Bruceleelives1969]

Pain from Neuropathy Diabetes in the hands. It burns!!!!!

 

[Margimet]

Pain from Neuropathy Diabetes in the hands. It burns!!!!!

I know exactly how you feel, I'm diabetic and have neuropathy too. It scares me a lot!

 

[Wayfaerer]

Reporting in.

as an aside, depression is a chronic illness, not physical pain but emotional pain can be just as bad, as we all know.

That's awesome because I also experience that as well as a side-effect of the chronic physical pain. Ain't life grand?

 

[Dystopia]

Reporting in.


That's awesome because I also experience that as well as a side-effect of the chronic physical pain. Ain't life grand?

It's a horrible loop isn't it? With me it's very frustrating knowing that mood, sleep and anxiety are all not only worsened by pain but can be caused by it too.

Especially neuropathic/nerve pain like I have, the cycle of it all is soul crushing. I really sympathise with anyone suffering with chronic pain

 

[Wayfaerer]

It's a horrible loop isn't it? With me it's very frustrating knowing that mood, sleep and anxiety are all not only worsened by pain but can be caused by it too.

Especially neuropathic/nerve pain like I have, the cycle of it all is soul crushing. I really sympathise with anyone suffering with chronic pain

My condition is not neurological but I think about punching myself in the head everyday. I hope I'm not alone in this.

 

[Dystopia]

My condition is not neurological but I think about punching myself in the head everyday. I hope I'm not alone in this.

I just wish there was actually a permanent fix for all these pain conditions, medication can help but it's not really a solution, just a mask that eventually becomes less effective..

I don't think I would need to do that as I have a chronic tension headache as well which feels like a band around my head squeezing most days. It's awful today

 

[Pistolero114]

If life long chronic clinical depression counts as illness then yes.

 

[HGL91]

Yes. After treatment for cancer, I've gone downhill. I wish I would have declined treatment. Sometimes the treatment has worse effects than the disease. Not always, I'm sure, but we often don't hear about the down side of treatment.

My mom was an oncology nurse before she retired, so I've always been super paranoid and afraid of cancer since I'd go to her work and see people suffering so much, not just from the cancer, but the chemotherapy.

 

[I’vehadenough]

I was happy and hopeful before they completely fucked me up in a hospital. I don't have a life anymore because of this condition and don't see anyway out. It has honestly broken my spirit and will to live.

Me too

 

[Cleopatra123]

If life long chronic clinical depression counts as illness then yes.

Yes, my only reason. If I don't do something about it soon, I will wind up in lengthy torture.

 

[Bruceleelives1969]

I know exactly how you feel, I'm diabetic and have neuropathy too. It scares me a lot!

Do you want to talk? Pm me