Discussion Anyone bought the SN and just stopped

[Quinlor]

Maybe I'm not ready to die, yet. I bought the SN and keep hidden in my room since November.
I need to go to drugstore to buy the antimedics but something inside me stop me to do that.

 

[999888]

I am in the same situation. I have sn and antiemetics but I'm still undecided.

 

[LMLN]

No shame in waiting. Just because you have it does not mean you have to use it. ❤

 

[mediocre]

Same I am holding out a little bit of hope deep down i will get answers to my physical issues. I've had mine in the cupboard since October and hidden my anti emetics and other meds in my bedroom.

 

[Ἡγησίας]

I have it all for SN method too, but I'm considering working for a few months to earn some money and try to get powdered N on the DW. Need to think about this during the next weeks.

 

[k75]

I have my SN, Meto, and all the accompanying drugs safely gathered and put away. For when I decide to use them. After I got everything, I decided to give recovery an honest shot. I'm struggling but still trying, and I know I have an exit ready if I need it. It's scary but also comforting. I know I'm not stuck.

 

[Qdv]

Maybe I'm not ready to die, yet. I bought the SN and keep hidden in my room since November.
I need to go to drugstore to buy the antimedics but something inside me stop me to do that.

Yes! Same here, date was the 19th and have been on hold :|

 

[NextBusLeaving]

I bought just because of the flap and have it stored safely. Just never like ppl telling me what I cant have.

 

[noctiva]

I have everything ready. I just don't know when to end it. I don't want to die, but I can't live like this anymore.
I am in a lot of mental anguish because I cannot decide when to leave. I.. I don't know if I will be missed or not. If I will be missed and wanted back, then killing myself is the absolute worst thing I can do. If I'm not missed, then I should have gone 2 months ago.. I don't know how to decide!

 

[Grandexit]

Zero problem with waiting, reevaluating , soul searching. I would argue that you owe it to yourself to be 1000 percent sure. I hope things will get better.

 

[c824767]

yes amazing once you have the means you put it on hold. My friends are happy I am still here ...

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Mine is in my drawer si ce November too. I'm just waiting for next year to ctb.

 

[Moon Flower]

Exactly the same here. It's nice to have an accessible suicide method as a contingency plan

 

[Guizin239]

Same situation here. I should just do it already

 

[Marz]

I wish I could buy it. Or afford it. Even if I hesitated I'd have the opportunity. I have antiemetics and all. I feel shitty.

 

[mathieu]

I have the SN. I've kind of been scared off by reading that you die off suffocation in another thread. I can't take benzos because I'm too tolerant to them. I'm afraid it will be painful. I'm thinking of trying to get N again.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

I have an SN kit and a C0 kit ready to go. But I'm still here... I think the C0 will be the first attempt because lungs cant throw up and they distribute C0 to the blood much quicker than the small intestine. After seeing what 200ml looks like I crossed N of my list. With no way of getting the powder I can't imagine drinking that much, plus as with SN there is always that chance to vomit even with the right preparation. I really wish there was more documents or a video or 2 on SN, I tend to buy into the fear tactics certain people use to discredit SN.

 

[Guizin239]

I have the SN. I've kind of been scared off by reading that you die off suffocation in another thread. I can't take benzos because I'm too tolerant to them. I'm afraid it will be painful. I'm thinking of trying to get N again.

It isn't suffocation, exactly. Breathing patterns are controlled by carbon dioxide concentration more so than oxygen concentration. Although difficulty breathing can happen during SN toxicity, most people who survive report the experience as being similar to going to sleep.
Is that sentence grammatically correct? It doesn't sound like it is ‍

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

I have the SN. I've kind of been scared off by reading that you die off suffocation in another thread. I can't take benzos because I'm too tolerant to them. I'm afraid it will be painful. I'm thinking of trying to get N again.

I have that exact same worry, liquid N isn't to hard to get, depending on where you live. but the powder seems impossible to find, and imo that is the only option I could handle, because you're looking at 40 to 50 ml or liquid vs 200ml. When I measured out 200ML in water I knew there was no way I'd be able to drink that much N. Barbiturates almost never show up on the dark web, but I am sure it's out there and possible, I just haven't had any luck finding it.

The feeling of Suffocating would be the inability to clear Carbon Dioxide from the body, as long as SN doesnt cause a Carbom Dioxide build up I'm not sure how uncomfortable it would be.

 

[mathieu]

I have that exact same worry, liquid N isn't to hard to get, depending on where you live. but the powder seems impossible to find, and imo that is the only option I could handle, because you're looking at 40 to 50 ml or liquid vs 200ml. When I measured out 200ML in water I knew there was no way I'd be able to drink that much N. Barbiturates almost never show up on the dark web, but I am sure it's out there and possible, I just haven't had any luck finding it.

Isn't there a china source that is powder? That's what I've been thinking of chasing up. I'm kicking myself because I had a bottle of N years ago and it got knocked over and spilled. I tried it, it was nasty but I think I could have drunk the whole bottle.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

Isn't there a china source that is powder? That's what I've been thinking of chasing up. I'm kicking myself because I had a bottle of N years ago and it got knocked over and spilled. I tried it, it was nasty but I think I could have drunk the whole bottle.

Yeah there is, I spoke with him. However most people say he has gone rogue , and he does not ship he just collects the money. Another member said his name no longer appears in the current PPHB . I can neither confirm or deny that claim as I have not read the current edition. I can however confirm that when I asked him directly about exit members complaining he doesnt ship, he whent completely silent with me.

I think I could get 100ml down, but I am afraid 100ml would not be enough , although others say given enough time without being found 100ml work eventually. However 100ml is just slightly over 6 grams, and swiss clinics use between 9 and 12 grams... so I just dont know. Survival of 6 grams could put a person in a potentially bad spot both Legally, and medically

 

[noctiva]

It doesn't matter if you take SN, N, OD, hanging, exsanguination or gas, the type of death to the brain is the same: the brain oxygen supply is interrupted and you die from that, or, to put it more simply: your brain suffocates. This holds true for every method that you use that does not directly target the brain via gunshot to the brain or jumping.
So by taking SN or N, death comes from the lack of O2 to the brain. In the case with N death comes due to breathing cessation, in the case of SN due to blood not carrying O2 efficiently anymore.

 

[Soul]

I have my SN, Meto, and all the accompanying drugs safely gathered and put away. For when I decide to use them. ... I know I have an exit ready if I need it. It's scary but also comforting. I know I'm not stuck.

This is my feeling exactly. Having a choice makes a huge difference.

And @Guizin239, that sentence seems 100% well-built. Good job!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I was close to using mine. But I'm going to give this thing called life one more shot. Mine is securely tucked away for now. I should put it in a case like this because it's how I feel having it.

 

[Quinlor]

The other weird thing in my situation is that every week I go to a therapist... and she talks about life, how to change, understand my depression and etc. I feel like I had cheat with her and all my family. Its sucks!

 

[MeltingHeart]

Damn,y'all got your delivery! im having to re-order for the 4th time now!!

 

[TrailerTrash]

Had my SN, Zofran, and other supplies for a couple of months. Not undecided about going forward, but want to fully feel it's the right time first. I'd rather wait a bit on a permanent decision rather than go in fast.

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

Some have their reasons to want out ASAP, but there are also many of us that want out on our own terms and when we feel it's right. It's just so much better knowing you have the control of the when and at least having the option. Not many even get that much.

 

[Elias]

Zero problem with waiting, reevaluating , soul searching. I would argue that you owe it to yourself to be 1000 percent sure. I hope things will get better.

Excellently put, nothing more to add.