Anybody know of a working alt.suicide.holiday (a.s.h.) archive?

[MetroTransit]

I found one, though so many of the links are broken it is useless.

 

[akirat9]

anyone know fo working non clique ? archive? preferable jp ?

 

[Lullaby]

So weird, I was just reading it today randomly. Idk if this is the one you were reading or not, it's pretty much the only working version of it I've found.

a.s.h web archive central index page

 

[MetroTransit]

So weird, I was just reading it today randomly. Idk if this is the one you were reading or not, it's pretty much the only working version of it I've found.

a.s.h web archive central index page

That is the one I came across. Lots of broken links though since the groups got shut down years ago. I just hope it isn't lost to time as it would be a fascinating read. Lots of good material on that site though.

 

[Lullaby]

That is the one I came across. Lots of broken links though since the groups got shut down years ago. I just hope it isn't lost to time as it would be a fascinating read. Lots of good material on that site though.

I agree! I couldn't believe that it had started all the way back in 1992. I wish there was a way to access their old threads because it'd be super interesting to read.

 

[MetroTransit]

Er bestaat zoiets als té lang leven... leven dat niet méér is als niet sterven, de dood voor ogen.
De dood zien en te laf zijn om hem te groeten, met hem een pint te gaan drinken... Ik wil mijn tijd nemen voor de dood, net als ik voor al mijn andere vrienden de tijd nam.

Mijn vrienden... Welke vrienden? Veel, te veel valse vrienden had ik, vrienden op wie ik niet, nooit kon rekenen maar zij wel op mij. Enkele vrienden had ik wel, mensen die mij namen zoals ik was, bij wie ik geen masker hooefde te dragen.

Ik ben te laat geboren, "a remnant of something that is past"... een droom die voorbij is.
Ik ontwaakte en zag de wereld zoals hij is... kil, koel, angstaanjagend hel... Elk negatief detail werd zo uitvergroot dat het al het, onbestaande, goede overschaduwde... Ik kan niet meer leven in een wereld zonder goedheid, zonder dankbaarheid,... zonder vreugde.

Ik heb gevochten... een leven lang... gevochten, tegen pijn, onrecht, kwaad: tegen het lot... tegen het leven... Ik kan niet meer, ik laat het gaan en laat het Leven bezit van mij nemen

Tot ziens of vaarwel,
Heel veel liefs en sterkte,
Jeroen

P.S. En al weet ik niet of ik echt afscheid neem van deze vervloekte wereld, en al geeft deze brief nog geen duizendste van mijn lijden weer; ik laat hem hier achter ... Vinder, maak er goed gebruik van
P.P.S. wie weet wie dit schreef mag replyen...
Liefs,

Jeroen

English Translation (pardon my french) There's something as living to long... living that's nothing else as not dying, the death in sight.
Meeting death but being to afraid to greet hem, to go and drink a beer with him.
I want to take my time for him, as i did for all my other friends...
My friends... Which friends? I had many, too many fake friends, friends who didn't want to help me. I had some friends, people where i didn't had to wear a mask.
i was born to late... "a remnant of something that is past"... a dream that's over.
When i woke i saw the world like it is... Cold, and scaringly bright. each bad thing blown up in a way that overshadowed every, non-existing, good thing.
I can't live anymore in a world without goodness, without gratefulness, without joy...
Without love.
I fought, my whole damn life long... fought against pain, injustice, evil: against fate... against life. I can't take it any longer... i let go... and let Life posess me.

see you later or Goodbye,
All my love and strenght

Jeroen

P.S. and though i don't know if i will take my life, an though this letter doesn't show 1/1000th of the pain i feel
i leave it here...
Finder make good use out of it...

Jeroen

One example of a goodbye email from the archive (in the original Dutch and translated into English by the author), thought it would be interesting to highlight. Pain is timeless, and the author did a good job capturing that in his writing. What is most unfortunate is that this is far from the only one ever posted on the internet and that it is all too relatable.