Anybody feel like they can’t stop from becoming homeless?

[Spiritual survivor]

On Jan 1st I'll be without a residence again, but I feel like I can't really help it. Unless I moved in with people I don't want to live with and pay extortionately high rent to not live comfortably. I have autism and have mostly done societally unacceptable things to support myself not because I wouldn't want to do something more acceptable. I just struggle when I do try to be employed and I don't know what I could do to remain self employed. I'm not looking for pity or anyone to feel sorry for me. In part I made poor life decisions, partner choices, and I feel I was not a good relationship partner either. I just felt like expressing what I'm dealing with. I'm sure there's many people in similar situations. I can't decide if I should try to end my life or attempt to learn how to live homeless. I have had some experience, living in motels, not having any way to cook food, actually was starving b/c I got so depressed I just wasn't taking care of myself properly. I didn't realize I had autism till just this summer when I bumped on to information and then began to find YouTubers discussing what their lives are like. I finally understood why I just never really functioned the way other people do. Thanks for reading

 

[Csmith8827]

I've dealt with homelessness for years. I'm staying with my mom at the moment but I can't stay here forever. I know how you feel and yes it's difficult but if you can, make it work/manage it. Ultimately the goal of course is to find a solution. Is there anyway you could get disability for being autistic? That would help afford you a place to live at least...

 

[Spiritual survivor]

I've dealt with homelessness for years. I'm staying with my mom at the moment but I can't stay here forever. I know how you feel and yes it's difficult but if you can, make it work/manage it. Ultimately the goal of course is to find a solution. Is there anyway you could get disability for being autistic? That would help afford you a place to live at least...

I didn't put enough formal working time in to qualify disability. It would probably take years to qualify and so many other people are also trying to get it im sure. I guess I'm not sure if I qualify for any assistance or not, but I'm sure if I do it's very minimal and won't be enuf to live on. I'm last priority as a single 46 yr old lady with no minor children. I honestly would rather see people with more major disability get it before I do. Like if u can't walk, cannot make decisions, like where they cannot protect themselves at all from dangerous people or something. The truly truly most vulnerable people.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I am autistic too. You are really in for a struggle if you can't play social games on this earth. Not everyone with autism can become a programmer or scientist. It's sucks big time

 

[noSuffering]

The life of a homeless person is hell. It's better to commit suicide right away. I once hitchhiked for two months, without money, slept either in a tent, or, if there was no rain, just on the ground on foam in a sleeping bag behind gas stations. I collected water in shopping centers (thank capitalism for shopping centers - the only places where a poor hitchhiker can get free water and go to the toilet). I didn't realize how important just water is and how inaccessible it is. I'm from Russia, here you can walk for many kilometers, ask everyone you meet for water, and no one will give you something to drink. The greed of Russians has no analogues in the world. It's easy and quick to read - "I walked for several hours along the highway with a backpack weighing more than 20 kg, I wanted to go to every gas station I came across, I asked for a drink of water, but they not gave me water," but imagine that this phrase lasts for several hours? (it's impossible to imagine until you experience it yourself, I hate russians) Plus, after a couple of months, my skin began to crack deeply due to constant exposure to the open sky and did not heal (always open bleeding meat just waiting to catch an infection). Do not allow homelessness under any circumstances, do everything to commit suicide, but do not become homeless.

 

[AndroidAmongHumans]

I am autistic too. You are really in for a struggle if you can't play social games on this earth. Not everyone with autism can become a programmer or scientist. It's sucks big time

Even as a scientist you're not really safe from the social bullshit. I've done cancer research internships and I currently work at a pharmacological research contractor. During my cancer research internship I was constantly getting professional pushback from my supervisors for "using the wrong tone" and for stimming or doodling in meetings and for not making enough eye contact and smiling enough, and the only way I delt with the constant transitions and the social expectations and my sensory bullshit was by drinking half the days after work because it made my sensory issues less severe and it was more socially acceptable to act autistic if I had the excuse of drinking (neurotypicals absolutely love autistic people if they think you're wasted or high because then your hyperfixation ramblings are fascinating stories they're willing to listen to, your inneptitude with social norms is excused and expected, and your stimming is fun and you're just a party goer). At my current job I'm barely functioning and I'm already having issues maintaining professionalism only 6 weeks in, the entire lab and office is a sensory hell of noise and bright lights with literally no escape if I want to do any actual work and not just hide in the bathroom or my car, somehow the annecdotes I bring up for office small talk are never the right ones and even if I join in on the exact same topic of conversation as everyone else in the cubicle the conversation dies once I chime in, and people are still pushy about eye contact and personal space. There's literally no professions where we're safe.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Even as a scientist you're not really safe from the social bullshit. I've done cancer research internships and I currently work at a pharmacological research contractor. During my cancer research internship I was constantly getting professional pushback from my supervisors for "using the wrong tone" and for stimming or doodling in meetings and for not making enough eye contact and smiling enough, and the only way I delt with the constant transitions and the social expectations and my sensory bullshit was by drinking half the days after work because it made my sensory issues less severe and it was more socially acceptable to act autistic if I had the excuse of drinking (neurotypicals absolutely love autistic people if they think you're wasted or high because then your hyperfixation ramblings are fascinating stories they're willing to listen to, your inneptitude with social norms is excused and expected, and your stimming is fun and you're just a party goer). At my current job I'm barely functioning and I'm already having issues maintaining professionalism only 6 weeks in, the entire lab and office is a sensory hell of noise and bright lights with literally no escape if I want to do any actual work and not just hide in the bathroom or my car, somehow the annecdotes I bring up for office small talk are never the right ones and even if I join in on the exact same topic of conversation as everyone else in the cubicle the conversation dies once I chime in, and people are still pushy about eye contact and personal space. There's literally no professions where we're safe.

I'm sorry. It so unfair. I attempted to become a graphic designer but even though my portfolio was good and I got invited to job interviews in most cases I didn't get hired or got fired in the testing period because of my lack of social skills and not fitting in with the coworkers.

 

[noSuffering]

I honestly would rather see people with more major disability get it before I do.

Buddha said that selfishness is superior to altruism:

one who practices for his own well-being, but not for the well-being of others, is more excellent and sublime than one who practices for the well-being of others, but not for his own well-being.
Pali Canon. Anguttara Nikaya 4.95

You are probably not a Buddhist, but it helped me, and I hope it will help you get rid of masochism.

 

[CPY]

I dread I will be experiencing this when my parents eventually die.My ocd is so bad that it's impossible for me to work, I just can't take having to work a menial and exhausting job on top of my already crumbling mental state, provided I can even find any with the dire economics of my country

There is little welfare where I live and many people with mental health issues end up on the street.My brother has autism and I was supposed to be the "good one"

 

[noSuffering]

I was constantly getting professional pushback from my supervisors for "using the wrong tone" and for stimming or doodling in meetings and for not making enough eye contact and smiling enough,....
office is a sensory hell of noise and bright lights with literally no escape if I want to do any actual work and not just hide in the bathroom or my car, somehow the annecdotes I bring up for office small talk are never the right ones and even if I join in on the exact same topic of conversation as everyone else in the cubicle the conversation dies once I chime in, and people are still pushy about eye contact and personal space. There's literally no professions where we're safe.I was completely terrified, I understand you! I'm a little autistic myself and have been through this. It's horrible.

I was completely terrified, I understand you! I'm a little autistic myself and have been through this. It's horrible.

But after decades, I would like to say that there is a profession that is suitable for an autistic person, which is not at all obvious - it is an entrepreneur. When you own your own business, all of these problems are eliminated and you gain many additional degrees of freedom. Any of your eccentricities are accepted without alcohol. The percentage of truly crazy people among business founders is probably second only to psychiatric hospitals ahahaha. I'm not an entrepreneur, I'm not hyper-fixated enough for that, but what I've seen is a disproportionate share of autistic business owners. While most people associate business with communication, business success is consequence with hyper-fixated.

 

[todienomore]

Its doable but the routine inconveniences can be wearing. Generally depressing. Climate and locale are a big factor. Ive known people on the US west coast that enjoyed it, one friend even parked at a beach and basically had it to himself. I knew another girl who just lived in an appalachian forest for a summer.

will you have a car?

might look at workaway or wwoofing. Small organic farm work doesnt pay well but the quality of life is very high.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Even as a scientist you're not really safe from the social bullshit. I've done cancer research internships and I currently work at a pharmacological research contractor. During my cancer research internship I was constantly getting professional pushback from my supervisors for "using the wrong tone" and for stimming or doodling in meetings and for not making enough eye contact and smiling enough, and the only way I delt with the constant transitions and the social expectations and my sensory bullshit was by drinking half the days after work because it made my sensory issues less severe and it was more socially acceptable to act autistic if I had the excuse of drinking (neurotypicals absolutely love autistic people if they think you're wasted or high because then your hyperfixation ramblings are fascinating stories they're willing to listen to, your inneptitude with social norms is excused and expected, and your stimming is fun and you're just a party goer). At my current job I'm barely functioning and I'm already having issues maintaining professionalism only 6 weeks in, the entire lab and office is a sensory hell of noise and bright lights with literally no escape if I want to do any actual work and not just hide in the bathroom or my car, somehow the annecdotes I bring up for office small talk are never the right ones and even if I join in on the exact same topic of conversation as everyone else in the cubicle the conversation dies once I chime in, and people are still pushy about eye contact and personal space. There's literally no professions where we're safe.

Loved your breakdown of what life is like as an autistic person with work.

 

[EndingEagle]

Ill stay with family members for as long as i can/need if i ever was near to homelessness id rather just end it all than sleep in the streets. I really dont know how to take care of myself nor generally how be an "adult" the very thought of living alone and without help is terrifying.

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

I'm sorry to hear you're having this experience. This planet is such a cruel place to all too many.

Personally I've felt like this often. I have a job now, but it gets more and more difficult to hold onto it. I've lost a job once before due to trauma-related shit. As time passes, I lose motivation to continue. I don't see a future for myself, so working just feels like something I do to stay alive and avoid poverty which would be an even worse situation to the one I'm in. I can't say what I'd do if that happened to me, but I've been very close in the past. Ideation gets really bad. A horrible feeling. I hope your situation improves.