Venting Anybody feel like they can't be honest around their friends anymore?

[PrimeTimeDimeChime]

Maybe this is just me being immature, but I'd like to just be able to talk about how I'm actually feeling with my close friends without alarming them and being worried that they're gonna call the cops on me. Yes, I want to kill myself, but I'm still the same person you knew and were close with before I told you, I wish this one thing about myself didn't carry the risk of completely changing how we interact with each other. I want to be real with them but I can't when they stop acting like real people and start spewing pre-programmed anti-choice bullshit at me. How am I supposed to respond to that nonsense? How am I supposed to interact with them afterwards after rejecting those things?

Its a big reason I joined here, I could just scoop the info I need and dip but I want to be able to get this sort of thing out of my system to real life human beings before I go for good. I'd love it if I could spend my last truly genuine human interactions with my friends, but I'm not allowed to.

 

[Trueform]

Never talk with anyone about your fantasies, they won't understand you anyways and they can't feel the pain you feel.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

What friends?

 

[FuneralCry]

Well, I do not have friends. Anyway, I see it as pointless talking to non suicidal people about these topics. Those who are not suicidal themselves will be unable to comprehend what it is like. If I told family members, they would not accept and understand my decision, they would want me to stay alive for selfish reasons. They would just say platitudes. Many people are in denial of the fact that things can get that hopeless that one would want to exit this world. They live under a delusion that life is always worth living. However in my case, wanting to ctb is perfectly rational, it is the only thing that makes sense to me.

 

[PrimeTimeDimeChime]

Never talk with anyone about your fantasies, they won't understand you anyways and they can't feel the pain you feel.

I'm smart enough not to talk about it to anyone that would actually jeopardize my plans from just 1 conversation, but as far as just trying to talk to my friends go yeah I'm learning this the hard way. None of the people I've gone to in the past have any fucking clue how to even act normal when suicide is brought up. I don't need them to relate, just to not freak out. Thats asking too much though as I've found out recently.

 

[Starryeyes]

My friends know. What can they really do about it though? Even my therapist brushes off my suicidal thoughts

 

[PrimeTimeDimeChime]

My friends know. What can they really do about it though? Even my therapist brushes off my suicidal thoughts

Thats kinda surprising to me, I'm more worried about what they would do about it (not letting me leave, getting rid of alcohol around me, calling the cops, putting my job in jeopardy, etc). I'd never even consider mentioning my suicidal feelings to therapists I've had in the past because the risk of them sending me to a mental hospital scares the fuck out of me, so the idea of a therapist brushing off stuff they're legally not allowed to ignore blows my mind. Maybe I'm just not experienced/knowledgeable enough though, how does your therapist go about brushing you off? Is it just they move on without really addressing it, actively downplay how you're feeling, or something else entirely?