This is the reason I feel like I can't continue. I mean I could but why make everyone around me miserable because I'm trying to suicide one minute but then deciding to live. I can't take the roller coaster and neither can friends. They have to live in the same limbo that I'm dealing with because I can't fix this.
Defenestration
I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
- Oct 25, 2020
- 1,035
Yea it's not like I asked to be like this. I would definitely seek professional help if I could access it but I would need to be in a treatment program and that's not accessible. I had started the meto regimen and just trying to do any last things that I need to do b4. It's so hard when friends message u but they don't understand that not all problems are solveable. At least not without the resources or access.
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This rollercoaster makes things certainly more difficult.
To make matters worse, I'm a bipolar person so, I understand the hell you're going through.
It is possible to keep on living and take things easy but you gotta be mentally prepared. At least that's what I'm doing now.
Wish you the best!
To make matters worse, I'm a bipolar person so, I understand the hell you're going through.
It is possible to keep on living and take things easy but you gotta be mentally prepared. At least that's what I'm doing now.
Wish you the best!
This is exactly my situation OP. I'm living in limbo and I'm driving everybody around me crazy. And I'm in treatment and it's not helping one bit! None of the meds I've tried has worked and I'm at an impasse with therapy because I can't just come right out and tell my therapist that I have a plan to kill myself. Not saying that treatment won't help you, but for me, recovery looks to be out of the question.
Many mental health people don't know how to do their job. They were trained according to what the state teaches them not what might be actual cure or healing. There's no money in cure. I hate to feel like I have to end it but I seriously don't have a choice. I feel like I'm up against the wall.
Yep, daily battle in my head that . Living for others . Like I'm in proper mental anguish yet the people who say they care would rather me put up with that than put myself down.
Defenestration
I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
- Oct 25, 2020
- 1,035
I would like to live but no work because GENERALY social phobia,bipolar,HUGE performance anxiety etc...I will live with my economies and help,then suicide ...I prefer REALLY suicide than work...work has destroyed all my life...I will become big phobic of world of work
Yes its a constant battle with the past few years being seemingly obsessed with my suicide.
Same. I have never done well at any job besides a stripper in the strip club lol! Otherwise I was a failure at most jobs.
To be fair, there is no cure-all when it comes to mental health. One has to be willing to do the work to get better. In my case, I've tried various approaches and none have made a difference because of the circumstances I'm facing, which are beyond my control. Next up is electro-convulsive therapy, which I'll do only to appease my family, but I don't expect that it's going to make one bit of difference. My circumstances are not likely to change, so I too feel that my back is up against the wall and that suicide is my best option.
Sometimes I decide to try living again but then usually within an hour I want to kill myself again.
Now I'm at the point where I'm deciding on a method I can access, I'd love a gun or SN.
Realistically, I think I might just have to jump
Now I'm at the point where I'm deciding on a method I can access, I'd love a gun or SN.
Realistically, I think I might just have to jump
Hey
What kind of resources you need?
It's so unfair that the state doesn't provide you what you need.
To be honest I have no idea. I just don't trust the state but with good reason. The institutions most people place their trust in they should not. The people who control our medical care want to wipe out the majority of humans on the planet. I do not want the state to provide anything besides leave me alone.
