Anybody else with ocd feel like your obsessions tries to "fool" you sometimes?

[Silent_cries]

Sometimes, especially if my obsessions previously told me not to do something and it suddenly tells me it's fine for me to do it I'll still not trust it because I'll feel like it's lying trying to trick me into doing something I shouldn't. Ocd is like a sentient creature to me that constantly tells me what to do and not to do as to not cause unfortunate things to happen and it likes to try to trick me sometimes, thus I have to "feel" whether what it says is right or not since I often "feel" whether something is good or not. Is this common with ocd? Anybody else experience this? I'm curious.

By the way, if I understood my psyciathrist correctly I think I'm officially diagnosed with ocd now so, yey :(

 

[pain6batch9]

That picture is beautiful by the way.

I absolutely understand this. I like the way you think of it as a creature, rather than the way I think of mine as a section of my brain I have to keep in line. Sometimes, I'm convinced something is the right course of action to take, even when clearly it will get me into trouble, or make me sound like an idiot. Especially when I say things. Or obsess about whether I should say them or not. I've learned over the years, to wait and count the times I think about something before I do or say it.

Example: Today I was trying to write something, but it was coming out slow and my fingers won't play ball. So, I'll come back to it tomorrow. Because that's always better then trying to push through the OCD and make something work when it refuses to. But I had that voice telling me to push through and carry on. In the end I just had to 'walk away' from the document. Even mentally. Putting it to one side. I'll try again in the morning.

 

[Arachno]

It often happens to me that when I want to do something (even something simple like closing doors, clicking the post reply button, etc.), depending on the action, I can either to do it right away with a "right thought" in my head or I have to do it a certain number times and on the final number put the "right thought" in my head and then it is okay to do and I can get through with it, if something even sligthly disrupts that "right thought" (intrusive thoughts like that something disturbing is gonna happen) then I have to repeat it a certain number of times until I finally get the correct thought without any intrusions, because if I don't repeat it OCD threatens me that the intrusive thought is actually gonna happen.

I also think a lot about the idea that OCD must be a sapient entity or something, like a brain parasite that feeds of your anxiety, trauma and suffering by creating the mental torture that is OCD and the trauma and using anxiety that comes externally. Not sure how common it is in other people with OCD but I can relate to the things you described here a lot.

 

[pain6batch9]

It often happens to me that when I want to do something (even something simple like closing doors, clicking the post reply button, etc.), depending on the action, I can either to do it right away with a "right thought" in my head or I have to do it a certain number times and on the final number put the "right thought" in my head and then it is okay to do and I can get through with it, if something even sligthly disrupts that "right thought" (intrusive thoughts like that something disturbing is gonna happen) then I have to repeat it a certain number of times until I finally get the correct thought without any intrusions, because if I don't repeat it OCD threatens me that the intrusive thought is actually gonna happen.

I also think a lot about the idea that OCD must be a sapient entity or something, like a brain parasite that feeds of your anxiety, trauma and suffering by creating the mental torture that is OCD. Not sure how common it is in other people with OCD but I can relate to the things you described here a lot.

This rings true for me as well with the concept that if a process is interrupted it has to be started again. I've been known to re-start mental process over and over until it grinds to halt in there. Then I have to come back to it later. Kind of like a power surge blowing out a bulb.