Discussion Anybody else struggle with considering loved ones when choosing a method?

[Rainking]

I'm new here, but not new to the discussions that take place here. If this has been discussed before, forgive me. I couldn't find an exact discussion. So.. Do you take into account people in your life when choosing a method? I am fortunate that I do have loved ones who will struggle should I decide to ctb. I'm in the US and have access to guns so that seems like the easiest way to do it, but then I have to consider who will find me and if anybody I know will see the unpleasant results. I life a couple of blocks from railroad tracks that freight trains pass by 3 or 4 times a day, so that seems like a certain method. Again, the aftermath plus I have read that engineers really struggle with guilt when this happens even though there is nothing that they could do about it. So there is that. These are the methods that I have access to that I think are close to 100% certain to be successful. The other methods that I think about are things like the charcoal method, or overdosing. The aftermath wont be as bad for my loved ones but I don't have 100% faith in these methods and could end up worse than when I started. I'm sorry this is so long. I just want to see if anybody else has this internal struggle. To clarify one thing, it's not just a loved one finding my body, it's also my loved ones just having the thought of me dying in such a violent manner. Thanks.

 

[Sans]

What loved ones?

 

[akwa]

My husband is the main reason I haven't shot myself yet. Otherwise I probably would have. I try to lean into it and look at other methods as more peaceful so I don't feel like I'm missing out, but I would really just like it to be over already.

 

[suffering_mo]

Yes. I would prefer that they not have it on the news for the world to know but I likely won't get my wish. They are all starting to hate me anyway. No one can understand this level of physical torture and what it does.