Anybody else stopped caring about their physical health & weight after being 100% certain about CTB?

[Bobby2Phat]

My life went from being suicidal from an early age but often taking care of my body, working out, eating right and generally trying to improve my physical health and mental health via hiking, exercise and good eating and now I've decided that I should have CTB years ago I'm now just frittering my remaining money away gorging myself on takeaways, no exercise and using alcohol to get to sleep.

Am I making my remaining existence worse or is this a semi conscious way of pushing myself closer to the edge whilst also giving in to the urges.

 

[geepeedee]

You are making your remaining existence worse, but I'm doing the same thing so

 

[Reeds]

I did a similar thing when I was making plans for it (on hold at the moment). To me, that kind of indulgence was just letting go and enjoying myself while I could. What was the point of saving all that money and keeping myself safe and healthy if I already knew it was going to end?

 

[Forveleth]

I totally let myself go thinking "Who cares, I will be dead soon. " That was two years ago. I have gained 60 pounds. I went from running 5 miles/day to wheezing after one floor of stairs. I deeply regret not staying fit.

 

[Bobby2Phat]

I did a similar thing when I was making plans for it (on hold at the moment). To me, that kind of indulgence was just letting go and enjoying myself while I could. What was the point of saving all that money and keeping myself safe and healthy if I already knew it was going to end?

Same. My family will be able to cash in on the house sale and the little I have now will give me the instant hit of enjoyment so what's the point of holding on to my wages and not abusing my body?

 

[metfan647]

In a way. I don't even leave the house to go for walks or cycle these days. My body issues stop me from overeating though. Still put on weight from just being in bed all day when I'm not working at the desk from home.

 

[sulvumnolo]

I actually lost a lot of weight because I stopped eating and my physical health is deteriorating because I never get out of bed

 

[pelicanportal]

Yeah I have been eating out daily, sometimes twice daily, since December. I was into nutrition and supplementing before, lost 20lbs last year before it all went to shit. Really sucks.