Anybody else really sad?

[EmptySteph62]

I totally understand if trying really hard and things just getting worst. I'm not sure why I stupidly keep holding on. I don't know maybe subconsciously I think one day I'll be different when I wake up

Yea exactly, Its like maybe if I try hard enough then one day my brain will just stop screwing me over. Which of course feels impossible.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

Yea exactly, Its like maybe if I try hard enough then one day my brain will just stop screwing me over. Which of course feels impossible.

I don't know how old you are, maybe in your twenties. If so, at least you have youth on your side for things to get better but once you at a certain age if seems less and less possible. Please forgive me if I'm off base with my assessment of your age. It's not intentional.

 

[EmptySteph62]

I don't know how old you are, maybe in your twenties. If so, at least you have youth on your side for things to get better but once you at a certain age if seems less and less possible. Please forgive me if I'm off base with my assessment of your age. It's not intentional.

No worries at all, you're pretty spot on. And yes this is true, however I've been stuck with these feelings since I was around 12 and the idea that maybe one day they'll be any better seems like a fairytale to me. Still, thank you for having hope for me.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

No worries at all, you're pretty spot on. And yes this is true, however I've been stuck with these feelings since I was around 12 and the idea that maybe one day they'll be any better seems like a fairytale to me. Still, thank you for having hope for me.

I understand what you're say been dealing with my treat resistant MDD since age 10 and I'm almost 43.

 

[EmptySteph62]

I understand what you're say been dealing with my treat resistant MDD since age 10 and I'm almost 43.

I also have treatment resistant MDD, and persistent depression. I can't imagine living with it for that long, I'm so sorry, that's gotta be really hard.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

No worries at all, you're pretty spot on. And yes this is true, however I've been stuck with these feelings since I was around 12 and the idea that maybe one day they'll be any better seems like a fairytale to me. Still, thank you for having hope for me.

PS..I just realized by telling you my age you might think that it isn't possible but that's not the case. It does happen that some get better and you just may be in that group.

 

[Astral316]

Yeah I just want to work, have a girlfriend and have a somewhat normal life, but I'm trapped isolated with no social contacts so it's all impossible and so forced to spend all my life isolated and single and jobless as I have my whole life already. No money, no social life and no love. Pointless existence.

I'm right there with you.

My emotions are cyclical it goes 1) depressed that I'm going to spend decades in this state of poverty and loneliness until death
2) relieved and carefree because I have a CTB plan
3) I feel so good about the CTB plan that I wonder if I can make the relieved, carefree feeling last a life time
4) All the problems that lead me to want to CTB rush back into my psyche
1) depressed, etc.

Right now I'm at 2

 

[EmptySteph62]

PS..I just realized by telling you my age you might think that it isn't possible but that's not the case. It does happen that some get better and you just may be in that group.

Thank you I doubt it but part of me still hopes so

 

[Midnight]

All day, every day. Unless it sometimes spikes to anger or apathy and then back to sadness again. Don't know anything else really. It's been so so long.

 

[hunthunt]

Infinitely sad and hoppeless, thats worsened since 3 weeks when I lost my job and love of my life at the same time. But thaś no a excuse, I have always been like this.

 

[Nanimoaru]

Yea, I'm at the part where the brain tries to fight for survival and also knows this needs to be done

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'm sad that I eventually found out how to live and then it was taken away from me shortly after with recovery being virtually impossible. My frustration knows no bounds.

Yeah I use to be one of those people that had so much potential in life. Now that I've had almost everything taken from me I would do anything to get back that potential that I had years ago.

Ditto.

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm right there with you.

My emotions are cyclical it goes 1) depressed that I'm going to spend decades in this state of poverty and loneliness until death
2) relieved and carefree because I have a CTB plan
3) I feel so good about the CTB plan that I wonder if I can make the relieved, carefree feeling last a life time
4) All the problems that lead me to want to CTB rush back into my psyche
1) depressed, etc.

Right now I'm at 2

That's impressive insight there.