Method Anybody else having a hard time with "Place"?

[411esme]

I'm in sort of the same boat. I've resorted to waiting until Covid is "over" and I can rent an apartment to do the deed in. All I'll have to do is apologize for the mess to whomever finds me.

 

[AvaAdore]

So as I get closer to my time and as my plans develop, I'm getting stuck on one detail in particular...where to do it? I'm living with my grandparents right now because my life is in shambles and I can't support myself. They practically raised me in this house and I lived with them for much of my 20s. I would love to go out here (right now I'm committed to Stan's SN method) because this was the place where I always felt home, like I was loved. But I know that's extremely selfish, my grandparents are around 80 and I don't want them to have to live out their days in a house where I've left them with an extremely sad memory.

The problem is I can't think of a single other place to go. Public places are out...I can't risk the chance of discovery, I want to and have to succeed this time. Plus, I don't want to traumatize any innocents. I don't have a car anymore, I totaled it last month. I can't afford a hotel, but even if I could, it would be the same problem as public place - I don't want to hurt the poor manager or housekeeper by making them have to discover a body.

As it stands, I'm planning on doing it in my room at my grandparents' house simply because I have no other options. I plan to take steps to make sure they're not the ones to find me...like putting a note by the coffeepot for my grandad (he ALWAYS wakes up first) telling him what I've done and telling him to call the police immediately and not open the door, but he's an old Marine and he'd probably kick the door down anyway because he's just a badass like that and he doesn't think, he just takes action. I have a friend who is supportive and knows what's going on, and he'd be willing to contact the cops in my area at a pre-determined time to do a welfare check on me, before my grandparents wake up, to make sure they're the ones who find me and not my grandparents. Its still going to crush them...I tell myself its going to crush them any way it goes down, but I don't want them to feel sad every time they go in my room or look at my door. *Sigh* this is so hard, but I've always known it would be.

Is anyone else having the same problem?

Maybe going camping would be a good place?

 

[falloutcarter13]

Maybe going camping would be a good place?

I appreciate the reply, but like I mentioned above, I'm under pretty constant supervision, I have no transportation, and I have a broken foot that prevents me from moving around too much. If someone sees me crutching my lame ass down the road at 1am to try to make it to a secluded spot (not that theres a good one very close), they'd either try to help me or they'd call the police to "help" me. Its just how people are where I live. Thank you for your thoughts, though.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

Haven't decided on the place yet, it will depend on the method and I'm between 2 choices right now.

I absolutely don't want any people around or to find me. I have a "thing" about that.... as much as I don't like people in general, I don't really like when people do building jumps, train, etc. and inflict that upon others to have to suffer with that the rest of their lives... especially if an innocent child witnesses it.