Anybody else feel trapped in an endless darkness that you can't get out of?

[Silent_cries]

It's been like this for years to me. For me the "darkness" is a description for my depression, anxiety, psychosis etc. that I'm dealing with that makes my mind dark and clouded btw. Although for you it can be something completely different if you will. Anybody else feel this way? I'm so tired of it tbh. I just want to be free...

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

Yeah, thats called my life.

 

[Silent_cries]

Yeah, thats called my life.

Yeah, mine too :/

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

It's been like this for years to me. For me the "darkness" is a description for my depression, anxiety, psychosis etc. that I'm dealing with that makes my mind dark and clouded btw. Although for you it can be something completely different if you will. Anybody else feel this way? I'm so tired of it tbh. I just want to be free...

Dark.... Foggy..... And about to hit an iceberg.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, I see life itself as darkness and death as the freedom from the darkness. I want to be free but I can't because of how heavily restricted suicide methods are

 

[3/4Dead]

Definetly feels dark. Especially considering that I'm losing blocks of time since when my anxiety gets high i start to dissociate and chunks of my day are just missing, or brain fog is so bad I don't remember what I did an hour ago. A lot of my memory is just.. dark.

 

[Forever Sleep]

For me, it's more just reluctance of slogging through life and a massive amount of resentment at having to do so paired with frustration that I feel trapped here (as in, I don't want to CTB while my Dad is still alive.) I do get very unhappy too but the more common emotion is just feeling utterly pissed off with it all and exhausted.

I don't know that I feel utterly trapped. I think you have to change things in life to effect changes in your mood. That can be incredibly difficult but, it's possible. For me, it feels more like I've tried out plenty of things and none really worked. I'm currently doing what for me is the best out of a lot of worse options but, it still doesn't feel worth it. So, I suppose I feel trapped by feeling like I simply can't make life work for me.

 

[Kit1]

Just feels pointless carrying on and then feel selfish for wanting to end my life or even being depressed.

 

[lacrimosa]

Yep...

Everything goes to shit as soon as it feels like things are going right.

Life is one giant punch to the crotch.

You either become corrupt to gain the advantage or let yourself become a victim.

I choose neither and am in limbo. Because life is not for me. Not in its current condition.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I call it hell. My daily and painful hell.

 

[emptyenvelopes]

Yes. Very often I feel like dead leaves just blowing through life. I feel the sun on my skin and I get through the day. But nothing pierced through to the core of me. And just like you can't revive a dead leaf, I don't know how to revive myself either.

 

[VentureOverwatch]

100%

It just feels like I'm surviving at this point, I have tried too better myself and get myself out of this darkness, but I give up,

 

[stayedtoolong]

Yes. BPD adds to it lol. The chronic emptiness and apathy is endless.

 

[sugarb]

It's been like this for years to me. For me the "darkness" is a description for my depression, anxiety, psychosis etc. that I'm dealing with that makes my mind dark and clouded btw. Although for you it can be something completely different if you will. Anybody else feel this way? I'm so tired of it tbh. I just want to be free...

I feel less in the dark and more closed in. Not so much a cage as a wildlife reserve. I can roam, but not very far… Obligations and laws get in the way.

As much as I appreciate modern conveniences, I often just want to walk. Walk out on the prairie, away from people, roads, fences, family, and cars, beyond phonecalls and light pollution, and just sit and run and do whatever in a great flat neverending expanse of grass waving in the wind

Or to fly. Or wander an empty city.

but I can't

 

[Leiden]

Severely dark and trapped. Unbearable