Any women feel harmed by feminism on here?

[Final Escape]

Ok so growing up with single mother confused me about gender roles for one thing. Not seeing a man in the home made it appear as though it was acceptable to not be married and a single mother in a way because I saw a bunch of single mothers in the section 8 housing we lived in lol! Then u add in child abuse that often comes when u grow up with a single mother because they unfortunately can't do it all. So between neglect, abuse by my mother and then abuse by the shit men that come around single mothers because your sexual market value drops to quality men as a single mother. Now ure attractive to pedophiles and other creeps. Then because I was afraid that it was an inevitable situation that men will likely leave you I was afraid to marry and figured I better get a career lol! Well I got too vocational degrees that are mostly low paying and not satisfying so all I ended up with was student loan debt. I also thought I had more control over my fertility than in reality and ended up getting pregnant by not the greatest guys which then led to abortions. Basically not understanding how different the genders are was very harmful to me as a young woman. I wouldn't be surprised if in the future there's lots of old poor single cat ladies in the future because women need men more then the other way around. Yes government will run out of money under this current situation of forced redistribution of income.

 

[millefeui]

No, I am thankful for feminism. For the most part, anyways. Nothing is perfect.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

I'm thankful for feminism, too.

 

[Final Escape]

For me it was a disaster, but I'm also talking about the toxic version of feminism currently where they give rights to women above men. Like the woman can choose to murder the baby but the guy has no say. If a man gets married these days a divorce can cost him everything, women can get knocked up by a guy and force him to pay through the power of the state for the kid even if he doesn't want anything to do with the kid. There are other aspects but this is just some things. Basically women can do whatever and there are not much consequences for women when decades ago there was. You couldn't get pregnant out of wedlock bc it's bad for kids to grow up with no dad. Because I didn't see responsible role models it really fucked me up in adulthood.

 

[Final Escape]

good one on how feminism is different these days.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

For me it was a disaster, but I'm also talking about the toxic version of feminism currently where they give rights to women above men. Like the woman can choose to murder the baby but the guy has no say. If a man gets married these days a divorce can cost him everything, women can get knocked up by a guy and force him to pay through the power of the state for the kid even if he doesn't want anything to do with the kid. There are other aspects but this is just some things. Basically women can do whatever and there are not much consequences for women when decades ago there was. You couldn't get pregnant out of wedlock bc it's bad for kids to grow up with no dad. Because I didn't see responsible role models it really fucked me up in adulthood.

It's not true that only men have to pay when divorced. When I divorced my first husband I had to pay alimony. (Of course, he later died and I was able to stop the payments...but still, for years I had to pay.)

 

[I want to end it]

Feminism gets a bad name these days because it is associated with female superiority and "man haters", rather than actual gender equality. In the Western World at least, women are equal to men and women actually have plenty of advantages men don't have (eg. childcare laws, divorce laws, dating/sex etc.). Gender pay gap has been shown to be a myth as well (women generally choose lower paying careers and take time off to raise kids).

Can't single mothers have abortions or use protection? It's not like you are forced into being a single mother, surely? I must say though, I don't know enough about the issue to comment fully.

Sorry for your situation, it sounds awful and I can understand why you would want to ctb. I hope you find peace whatever path you choose.

 

[Fylobatica]

The whole "gender wars" issue irks me. It teaches people to treat others like they were genitals, not actual sentient beings capable of thought.
It wouldn't be even that difficult to treat everybody equally, if certain stereotypes weren't pinpointed in everybody's head from childhood to adulthood and beyond.

 

[Final Escape]

It's not true that only men have to pay when divorced. When I divorced my first husband I had to pay alimony. (Of course, he later died and I was able to stop the payments...but still, for years I had to pay.)

Holy shit u had to pay him alimony? Omg I'm so sorry. I've heard of this happening but not as often as men paying women alimony. That sucks but I'm glad that it stopped. That's horrible. I didn't mean to upset u if I have.

 

[Final Escape]

The whole "gender wars" issue irks me. It teaches people to treat others like they were genitals, not actual sentient beings capable of thought.
It wouldn't be even that difficult to treat everybody equally, if certain stereotypes weren't pinpointed in everybody's head from childhood to adulthood and beyond.

The current version of feminism hurts women in white countries because instead of recognizing and appreciating the major differences between genders. This modern version of feminism seeks to make those differences harm the sexes worse than it was when we stuck more to gender roles and appreciated and respected these differences. The trying to make women equal to men actually leaves many women worse off because we just are not wired up the same way as men. It used to be ok to just have kids and care for the home. Now we are expected to be men too.

 

[I want to end it]

Well to quality men you are less attractive once you have some other guy's kid especially if you became a single mother by choice and u were not in a commitment prior to having kids. Oh it does explain why u had this experience especially if u are from a third world country where the men tend to have different values and tend to be more abusive on average. It does come down to picking a good man which women do have more control over than they think especially in western/white cultures. But often women will pick bad boy types or violent men but not pay attention to the warnings in the beginning that scream that a man is unreliable and a womanizer. In Islamic cultures for example women are seen as not equal to men. As in not equally worthy or valuable of being treated well and with dignity.

Women want to have sex with the bad boy/alpha/macho men, but they want a softer more caring man to provide them financial/emotional resources to bring up the bad boy's kids. This is just how biology made women to be. It's why so many single mothers exist and it's why 80% of women are chasing after 20% of men.

 

[Comatose11]

I think it has helped more than harmed, all though radical so-called "feminists" give real feminists a bad name. In an ideal world, there would be no gender roles or expectations. We place way, WAY too much emphasis on people based on what is between their legs.

 

[Meena]

I have bipolar illness and working is stressful 4 me.
But we live in an era where women has no other choice then working.
I wish i could stay at home and avoid all this.

 

[Final Escape]

Women want to have sex with the bad boy/alpha/macho men, but they want a softer more caring man to provide them financial/emotional resources to bring up the bad boy's kids. This is just how biology made women to be. It's why so many single mothers exist and it's why 80% of women are chasing after 20% of men.

Right but if they explain this reality to women when we are young. I had no idea to my detriment. I also had no dad. Actually all u have to do is take away the welfare state, forced redistribution of income and women will start to pick men more carefully. Even though we are wired this way, if it's not good for us then it would be great to know. So u don't end up a single mother or childless altogether. Also if u ban abortion women become more valuable and so men alter their behavior as a response to women changing behavior. Birth control works but it's not without side effects that sometimes are not tolerable. Or sometimes dangerous with the non hormone ones that they put inside your uterus. This is why birth control fails. Less reliable methods also tend to fail.

 

[RainAndSadness]

good one on how feminism is different these days.

In other words, let's cherry pick some moments where feminists didn't make good points and generalize millions of women. Yeah I'm pretty sure that's this logic isn't flawed at all. Like, you've never seen some men fail while trying to debunk feminism, right?

Hilarious. But hey, if you don't have arguments... just post one of these "SJW FAIL CRINGE COMPILATION" videos from youtube instead. Nuanced opinions are so outdated.

 

[Final Escape]

In other words, let's cherry pick some moments where feminists didn't make good points and generalize millions of women. Yeah I'm pretty sure that's this logic isn't flawed at all. Like, you've never seen some men fail while trying to debunk feminism, right?

Hilarious. But hey, if you don't have arguments... just post one of these "SJW FAIL CRINGE COMPILATION" videos from youtube instead. Nuanced opinions are so outdated.

I said in my earlier posts how I was harmed by feminism. I felt like i didn't understand men as a result of growing up with no dad. I ended up being sexually abused because single moms tend to be more attractive to predators when the bio dad not in picture. I had self worth issues, I ended up attention hungry and vulnerable to choosing shitty men. Birth control failed me and I ended up aborting 4 would be children. I guess I don't see how I'm empowered by feminism or feminist policies. I racked up student loan debt for low wage jobs, where I would have been better off finding a guy who is a good provider so I could have kids without having to work full time on top of it. I ended up thinking having some sex partners b4 trying to settle down was not harmful. Turns out casual sex impacts women to a greater degree than it does men. It damages your ability to pair bond the more previous sex partners a woman has. Sets u up for relationship problems and divorce. Yea feminism has been great let me tell u. I didn't even know how much more a man can earn compared with a woman. I also had no clue men don't care what u make because they typically expect or want to be the breadwinner. Well not all men but relationships typically work better wen one person can stay home and care for kids and the other one can focus on being breadwinner. Having kids motivates men to produce more. I thought men expected me to be financially independent or something lol! Turns out men really don't care, at least quality men or men who aren't trying to use u or mooch off u. These are the ways feminism confused me about some important differences between men and women. Oh, also women are much less driven on average because 10 times less testosterone.

 

[Luke]

Well Final all I'm saying is you see the situation perfectly well.

The problem here is how men react to this. More and more of us just go on our own ways. Plenty of panicked pussy in the 30s range that's "good enough" for us. Good enough because that's what we can get with no effort. It doesn't make us happy but that's the best value so we take that.

I'm guilty of this. I was disillusioned, tired, simply just wanted someone to be around and ease the loneliness. So I did the trade. I fucked them and let them take care of me. I had literally free sex, food, and companionship. What did they get? Promises. Or not even that. And I knew perfectly well their clock is ticking.

Feminism made that strategy the most viable one.

Edit:
Single moms are the bottom of the barrel. I was about to tell you why but I can't really. It must be some instinct because I know they are just don't know why. I'll try to put it into words... Something about the fact that they have a kid that's not yours generates "aversion". It's always in the back of your mind that a kid came out of this girl which is... blah.

It's not something conscious that we just decided to assign low value to these to laugh at them or something.

On another note, I think this current imbalance will correct itself. We have more distractions than ever... guys in their 20s are so screwed they are forced to check out. Somehow we will reach the sweet spot of 2 guys to 8 women and the problems will disappear.

Obviously the distribution system will collapse and the reproduction rate will suffer but guys get along with very little material needs.

Feminism put them in a shitty situation in which they grow up and by the time they are in their 30s and actually needed by females these guys just won't bother. They already don't.

I'm a textbook depressive realist.

 

[Luke]

It's not true that only men have to pay when divorced. When I divorced my first husband I had to pay alimony. (Of course, he later died and I was able to stop the payments...but still, for years I had to pay.)

The rate is actually 90-10. Excluding child support. ( in the EU the two are not separated at most places but calculated together )

 

[Gina]

Damn I'am sorry that you went through all of this, I personally don't know what to tell you. As a female it is extremely tough to be seen worthy in this society, whether you are smart vs dumb, poor vs rich and a virgin vs a sexually active individual. I've honestly become so numb to the feminist movement because its a blur to me that doesn't affect me.Since you have no kids you can apply for government programs until you can get back on your feet, did you receive the degree if you did you can apply for online jobs if you have a computer or go to the nearest library if you have transportation, do you have someone that you trust to ask for advice. To be honest most men can sense a woman aura and can spot their next victim to prey on trust me, I seen it, and experienced it 2nd hand. Not to sound offensive but I think you need to take a break from men and find yourself, what I do is stay at home and have my own spa day and look in the mirror and compliment myself.That's all I know so far, good luck.

 

[chloramine]

None of what you described is the fallout of feminism? For example not having a father isn't inherently feminist at all. I suppose you could blame feminism if he was abusive and feminism allowed your mother to escape, but I wouldn't say you would be better off with him around in that case. If someone gets pregnant while unmarried that's also not really feminism. There's more freedom to have casual sex than before, but that's been a larger cultural shift and women are still disproportionately looked down on for it compared to men. That's a result of the patriarchal culture we live in.

It sounds like you've had a hard life and have struggled. I'm sorry those things have happened to you. I think you're conflating feminism to things that it's not though. Someone in your situation would be significantly worse off if feminism hadn't equalized things as much. To be clear equality doesn't exist but it has improved over the years. 100 years ago you would likely be trapped with no hope beyond a man hopefully wanting you. You wouldn't be able to have your own bank account or a job which would mean you were completely dependent on another person which. Often results in abuse. And then you have no way out of that abuse because as a women no job will hire you. That kind of financial abuse still happens, but there are at least more resources and possibilities for escape.

Again I hear that you're in a hard situation and things are bad. I'm sorry you're living with that and I truly hope things improve for you.