pax420
Someone in my head but it's not me
- Jan 19, 2026
- 8
Yes this has already been discussed but I have a different view story or a whatever you want to call it. I was already pretty much ready to ctb I had a place picked out a way to do it and time frame to accomplish it. It was pretty much perfect and I had no reservations about it. Long story short I'm in a lot of physical pain and I can't hardly breath. I'm 56 my lifetime partner died 2 years ago and I really have nothing holding me here. Except, I always had a sort of good thing with God and the other side. I was raised Catholic and taught if you take your own life you go to hell. Not my idea of perfect afterlife. I talked to a few people who said if you take your own life you must be crazy and God won't hold that against you. I was cool with being crazy and ready to go but then I overdosed on fentanyl (accidentally) and was brought back. Now I was completely dead for about 5 minutes before the revived me. There were no lights no angels no tunnel absolutely nothing. This blew my whole belief system I now doubt if God exists and once we die that's it we just cease to exist. That idea is too much for me to comprehend. Does anybody have any thoughts or similar experiences they could share with me? I still really want and need to ctb just unsure now.