I'm a programmer myself and I was wondering if there are other people here sharing that passion, would love to hear what you're working on!
want2dienow
Atari hazure?
- Jul 24, 2022
- 339
ManicPanic2018
Night of the final day
- Sep 11, 2022
- 182
Self taught dev here, C# / .Net working full stack. Haven't had the energy for much personal project work outside of my day job (Building a video messaging app in the healthcare industry). Would love to get into some creative coding based stuff / build my own bit of VJ software.
Lonerzepam
O'lord! I Have My Doubts
- Sep 2, 2022
- 620
Oh dude I'm a C# dev as well, tho I mostly specialize in graphics. Working majorly on path tracers.
What happened?
Lonerzepam
O'lord! I Have My Doubts
- Sep 2, 2022
- 620
Neurological illness caused by medication and drug abuse ruined my life. I can't see straight, can't focus, can't do anything anymore tbh. But i know java, javascript, php, sql, html css (yes i know technically they're not programming languages but fuck it), python, a bit of bash and some js frameworks like react and a bit of angula. Put my whole life in that shit. But it all was for absuluetely nothing
Darkover
Angelic
- Jul 29, 2021
- 4,432
i know c/c++ java euphoria programming language and game maker language html mysql
but i can't program anymore due to a brain injury last time i coded was back in 2014
but i can't program anymore due to a brain injury last time i coded was back in 2014
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I was addicted to drugs for a long time and I understand how you feel, for me the issues continued even after I stopped them. I work as a programmer and I might lose my job because of these mental issues...Neurological illness caused by medication and drug abuse ruined my life. I can't see straight, can't focus, can't do anything anymore tbh. But i know java, javascript, php, sql, html css (yes i know technically they're not programming languages but fuck it), python, a bit of bash and some js frameworks like react and a bit of angula. Put my whole life in that shit. But it all was for absuluetely nothing
Lonerzepam
O'lord! I Have My Doubts
- Sep 2, 2022
- 620
Same here. I can be clean 20 years and I would still have this disease. It's called hppd btw.
Oh dude, so sorry to hear that, your projects look cool. I don't want to share mine, because I'd rather not reveal my identity.
Lonerzepam
O'lord! I Have My Doubts
- Sep 2, 2022
- 620
Darkover
Angelic
- Jul 29, 2021
- 4,432
just wanted to post some more images
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I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and even tho I'm not sure if it was the right diagnosis, I still have mental issues that are fucking me over.
Yeah feel free to share, awesome work.
I agree
Darkover
Angelic
- Jul 29, 2021
- 4,432
there's my github
most least significant bit,
msb,lsb,big,little,endian msb[1,0,0,1]lsb, pop3,imap,rc4,base64,xml,zlib,registry,opengl,rsa,ssl,md5,xor cipher ,ftp,html,ports 80,20,21 , mysql, http, post,get,cgi,sockets, win32api,gui,windows,inf,rgb,palette
binary 8,4,2,1, zero and ones 0011,logic and not or nand xor nor,shift bits left right,power,sin,cos,sqr,sqrt,min,max,degress to radians,abs,floor,wrap,pi 3.14159,vector,normalize, magnitude ,direction,dot and cross product, hash functions sha1, ascii characters set,
strings,int, float, integer,short,word,dword,boolean,byte,bits, binary,octal,decimal,hex,matrix,ocr,neuron,weight,threshold,socks4,tcp ip,fat32, ntfs, exfat,partition, GUID, 8 bit 256, 16 bit 65536, 32,64,128, #FF , frequency, amplitude, gdi, ram,rom,circular buffer ,Inverse-square law, point_direction, distributed hash table, peer routing table, bootstrap node, pwm, random, randomseed,
kb 1024, 1000
mb=1024*1024, 1,000,000
gb=1024*1024*1024 1,000,000,000
tb=1024*1024*1024*1024 1,000,000,000,000
3d, view frustrum ,backface culling, painter's algorithm, ray tracing, binary space partitioning (BSP) , Visible Surface, md2 3d model, polygons quads,fps,camera
circle,point,x,y,radius,diameter,circumference
circle radius,
circumference divided by diameter gives PI,
by multiplying 3.14 pi by the diameter of the circle gives the circumference
point_distance(x1,y1,x2,y2), x = pow(x1-x2,2) y = pow(y1-y2,2) return sqrt(x + y)
if distance between two circles is less than combind radius than colliding with eath other
cellular automata,turing machine, lexer, parser, virtual machine interpreter, bytecode, x86 asm, opcodes, z80,6502,arm,4000 chips,pic12f675, nop 0x90
CPU, alu, control unit, registers, fetch,program counter, data bus, address bus, store, load, interrupt,, system clock, full adder, shift register, jk flip-flop, bcd, decoder, multiplexer,opcode
asymmetry, symmetry,
bresenham's line algorithm, flood fill, eclipse,virtual screen, c malloc,dos mode 0x13, 0xA000, 256-Color.
texture mapping,sprite,texture atlas
steering behaviors flee,arrival,wander,seek,
delta time, frame rate independent movement, system time,
1000 millseconds per second , pixels per second 120
120/1000= 0.12 *elsapedtime, delta time
1000/60(fps) =16.666666666666666666666666666667
0.12*16.666*60 =120 pixels, bitmap
0.12 speed
16.666 delta_time
x+=cos(angle)*speed*delta_time;
y-=sin(angle)*speed*delta_time;
k value between 1 and 26 the key,
shift cipher,
cipher mod 26,
perlin noise, encryption alice bob, private, public,key,
linear interpolation,lerp,distance -kademlia,field of view, serialization, deserialization, json, inputs, outputs, dma,immediate,absolute,memory mapping, lookup tables,truth tables,stacks, pop, push,top ,queues,first in first out, last in first out, FIFO & LILO , LIFO & FILO, link list, double linked list, node,child,root,head,tail,pointer,
two's complement, addition, subtraction, a star, modulo, windows environment variables, a variable
a=not(a) toggle on and off 0,1 repeatedly
(angle * (PI/180)) degtorad
(angle * (180/PI)) radtodeg
and_bits(test_integer, 1) = 0 is_odd or is_even
record input steam plus delta time between frames
then to playback replace the delta time with the record dt and to keep the same game state make everything deterministic and update each system with the dt, use the record input stream to create the output stream at each tick of the game 8 bits for movment 1 bit for each button plus 4 bytes for the dt
also a global seed for the random_seed function saved
function wrap_between(integer v,integer min, integer max)
return v - (max - min) * floor( v / (max - min))
end function
hash a image
image_data[23,1,66,12,11,7...] rgb colour values from a picture 24bit
16,777,216 colors
for i=1 to length(image_data) do
hash_index+=image_date
end for
return wrap_between(hash_index, 0,1000) room for one thousand images with hash collisions
packet protocol 5 bytes+data
5 byte header+data, per packet type
[1,0,0,0,10]+['h','e','l','l','o']
first byte packet id 0--255
next four bytes, data length is the total size of the packet-5
read and write ,byte,string,int,float,bool,short
if (buffer>=5)
{
packet_id=buffer[0]
packet_length=buffer[1..4]
if (packet_length>length(buffer)-5)
{
//packet is ready to be read
packet_id //decides the amount and type of bytes to read from the data buffer
}
}
32*32=1024 total number of pixels
1024*8=8192 total number of bits
256 colours per pixel
2^8192 total number of pictures
8192 bit full adder
constant number_of_bits=8192
sequence a,b,cin,sum,cout
a=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
b=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
cin=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
sum=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
cout=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
integer xor1
xor1=0
for i=1 to number_of_bits do
if cout=1 then
cin=1
end if
xor1=xor_bits(a,b)
sum=xor_bits(xor1,cin)
if (a=1 and b=1) or ( xor1=1 and cin=1) then
cout[i+1]=1
end if
end for
?sum
for i=1 to 8192 do
skip_speed = rand(1)
end for
value=sum
a=VALUE
b=skip_speed
reset values
add or subtract mode
need two's complement for subtraction
skip forward by 8192 bits constant skip_speed
display image on screen 32,32 resize to 320,320
gain some limited access to all images 2^8192
apache,7zip,euphoria,dev c++,code blocks,visual stuido,java, game maker,allegro,sdl,ollydbg, cheat engine,filezilla,virtualbox,bit torrent, camstudio,core temp,cpu-z,dosbox,firefox,fscapture,vcl player,tortoiseSvn,magic disk,power iso, fraps, joytokey,gpu-z
most least significant bit,
msb,lsb,big,little,endian msb[1,0,0,1]lsb, pop3,imap,rc4,base64,xml,zlib,registry,opengl,rsa,ssl,md5,xor cipher ,ftp,html,ports 80,20,21 , mysql, http, post,get,cgi,sockets, win32api,gui,windows,inf,rgb,palette
binary 8,4,2,1, zero and ones 0011,logic and not or nand xor nor,shift bits left right,power,sin,cos,sqr,sqrt,min,max,degress to radians,abs,floor,wrap,pi 3.14159,vector,normalize, magnitude ,direction,dot and cross product, hash functions sha1, ascii characters set,
strings,int, float, integer,short,word,dword,boolean,byte,bits, binary,octal,decimal,hex,matrix,ocr,neuron,weight,threshold,socks4,tcp ip,fat32, ntfs, exfat,partition, GUID, 8 bit 256, 16 bit 65536, 32,64,128, #FF , frequency, amplitude, gdi, ram,rom,circular buffer ,Inverse-square law, point_direction, distributed hash table, peer routing table, bootstrap node, pwm, random, randomseed,
kb 1024, 1000
mb=1024*1024, 1,000,000
gb=1024*1024*1024 1,000,000,000
tb=1024*1024*1024*1024 1,000,000,000,000
3d, view frustrum ,backface culling, painter's algorithm, ray tracing, binary space partitioning (BSP) , Visible Surface, md2 3d model, polygons quads,fps,camera
circle,point,x,y,radius,diameter,circumference
circle radius,
circumference divided by diameter gives PI,
by multiplying 3.14 pi by the diameter of the circle gives the circumference
point_distance(x1,y1,x2,y2), x = pow(x1-x2,2) y = pow(y1-y2,2) return sqrt(x + y)
if distance between two circles is less than combind radius than colliding with eath other
cellular automata,turing machine, lexer, parser, virtual machine interpreter, bytecode, x86 asm, opcodes, z80,6502,arm,4000 chips,pic12f675, nop 0x90
CPU, alu, control unit, registers, fetch,program counter, data bus, address bus, store, load, interrupt,, system clock, full adder, shift register, jk flip-flop, bcd, decoder, multiplexer,opcode
asymmetry, symmetry,
bresenham's line algorithm, flood fill, eclipse,virtual screen, c malloc,dos mode 0x13, 0xA000, 256-Color.
texture mapping,sprite,texture atlas
steering behaviors flee,arrival,wander,seek,
delta time, frame rate independent movement, system time,
1000 millseconds per second , pixels per second 120
120/1000= 0.12 *elsapedtime, delta time
1000/60(fps) =16.666666666666666666666666666667
0.12*16.666*60 =120 pixels, bitmap
0.12 speed
16.666 delta_time
x+=cos(angle)*speed*delta_time;
y-=sin(angle)*speed*delta_time;
k value between 1 and 26 the key,
shift cipher,
cipher mod 26,
perlin noise, encryption alice bob, private, public,key,
linear interpolation,lerp,distance -kademlia,field of view, serialization, deserialization, json, inputs, outputs, dma,immediate,absolute,memory mapping, lookup tables,truth tables,stacks, pop, push,top ,queues,first in first out, last in first out, FIFO & LILO , LIFO & FILO, link list, double linked list, node,child,root,head,tail,pointer,
two's complement, addition, subtraction, a star, modulo, windows environment variables, a variable
a=not(a) toggle on and off 0,1 repeatedly
(angle * (PI/180)) degtorad
(angle * (180/PI)) radtodeg
and_bits(test_integer, 1) = 0 is_odd or is_even
record input steam plus delta time between frames
then to playback replace the delta time with the record dt and to keep the same game state make everything deterministic and update each system with the dt, use the record input stream to create the output stream at each tick of the game 8 bits for movment 1 bit for each button plus 4 bytes for the dt
also a global seed for the random_seed function saved
function wrap_between(integer v,integer min, integer max)
return v - (max - min) * floor( v / (max - min))
end function
hash a image
image_data[23,1,66,12,11,7...] rgb colour values from a picture 24bit
16,777,216 colors
for i=1 to length(image_data) do
hash_index+=image_date
end for
return wrap_between(hash_index, 0,1000) room for one thousand images with hash collisions
packet protocol 5 bytes+data
5 byte header+data, per packet type
[1,0,0,0,10]+['h','e','l','l','o']
first byte packet id 0--255
next four bytes, data length is the total size of the packet-5
read and write ,byte,string,int,float,bool,short
if (buffer>=5)
{
packet_id=buffer[0]
packet_length=buffer[1..4]
if (packet_length>length(buffer)-5)
{
//packet is ready to be read
packet_id //decides the amount and type of bytes to read from the data buffer
}
}
32*32=1024 total number of pixels
1024*8=8192 total number of bits
256 colours per pixel
2^8192 total number of pictures
8192 bit full adder
constant number_of_bits=8192
sequence a,b,cin,sum,cout
a=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
b=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
cin=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
sum=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
cout=repeat(0,number_of_bits)
integer xor1
xor1=0
for i=1 to number_of_bits do
if cout=1 then
cin=1
end if
xor1=xor_bits(a,b)
sum=xor_bits(xor1,cin)
if (a=1 and b=1) or ( xor1=1 and cin=1) then
cout[i+1]=1
end if
end for
?sum
for i=1 to 8192 do
skip_speed = rand(1)
end for
value=sum
a=VALUE
b=skip_speed
reset values
add or subtract mode
need two's complement for subtraction
skip forward by 8192 bits constant skip_speed
display image on screen 32,32 resize to 320,320
gain some limited access to all images 2^8192
apache,7zip,euphoria,dev c++,code blocks,visual stuido,java, game maker,allegro,sdl,ollydbg, cheat engine,filezilla,virtualbox,bit torrent, camstudio,core temp,cpu-z,dosbox,firefox,fscapture,vcl player,tortoiseSvn,magic disk,power iso, fraps, joytokey,gpu-z
lex
Just another statistic
- Jul 7, 2020
- 47
Not anymore. As a hobby it was lonely and eventually burned me out. Never got into it professionally because of mental illness and I was never deemed good enough
allblackallwhite
Member
- Sep 4, 2022
- 46
I haven't been able to code for about a year now. My brain simply can't do it anymore. The stress and trauma was too much and I lost it. I can't envision a program or even a piece of one anymore. As soon as I sit down and start writing even a simple script I panic and get a ton of anxiety. It was my biggest lifelong passion and my greatest edge at work (security engineer) and it's gone. Luckily I had already transitioned into Scrum Master so I quit having to actually code to keep my job. I can talk about it, critique it, and tell other people what to write I just can't write any code myself.
I had been working on a game for a few years now too, it was a lifelong dream, but that's not going to happen.
I had been working on a game for a few years now too, it was a lifelong dream, but that's not going to happen.
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Yep, still a full time programmer and have been for 25 years now. It actually bores the shit out of me these days, but paying for kids through uni and debts to pay and a partner who doesn't work means I have no choice but to keep with it. Programmed pretty much every popular language over the years, these days it's all c# and JavaScript in some form that pays the bills.
want2dienow
Atari hazure?
- Jul 24, 2022
- 339
DeadManLiving
Ticketholder
- Sep 9, 2022
- 265
I was (C++/Java/Embedded). It's hard to think of those days. After my TBI I haven't programmed since 2019. It's like looking back at the sunny tropical days of my life - gone. Depressing.
I think these account for a majority of suicides; people who've made it in one way or another and then lost it all. For some reason these falls are more impactful. It's like now you're back at square one and you have to cross a minefield for a hypothetical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Even if there is this phantom pot of gold at the end of mine field rainbow, the economics and rationale are definitely not there to make even an attempt worthwhile. I'm glad I won't be around any longer. I have my concoction on hand, it's just a matter of when the next choke point comes around and moves the needle to flip me over the edge.
This is me. I don't know what happened on your end but with me was a traumatic brain injury after an accident. No money for advanced treatments so it's a graveyard spiral down. The worst of the worst tragedies in life are actually making it and achieving self-actualization only for it to come crumbling completely down and being even unable to start from zero.
I think these account for a majority of suicides; people who've made it in one way or another and then lost it all. For some reason these falls are more impactful. It's like now you're back at square one and you have to cross a minefield for a hypothetical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Even if there is this phantom pot of gold at the end of mine field rainbow, the economics and rationale are definitely not there to make even an attempt worthwhile. I'm glad I won't be around any longer. I have my concoction on hand, it's just a matter of when the next choke point comes around and moves the needle to flip me over the edge.
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Really sorry to hear that.. yeah I'm about to lose my job because of mental illness, I'm actually pretty good at graphics programming and I can still do it, but there are just some issues that make it difficult to work.
I think you're right, it's difficult because I love this job and I want to do it.. I've done so much and achieved so much, I don't want to feel like I can't handle it anymore :(
Last edited:
whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
actuallyEnjoyingIt = myJobSucks < me.personalProject;
do {
me.coding();
} while (actuallyEnjoyingIt);
So you're in such a big company that the Scrum Master doesnĀ“t code? Sounds pretty chill.
Last edited:
DeadManLiving
Ticketholder
- Sep 9, 2022
- 265
I'm sorry for what you're going through. Is it keeping up with the pressure that's burning you out?
It's like someone came and fucked my brain until I can no longer work. I sit down and I have complete lack of energy and my mind is blocked from thinking about work..
DeadManLiving
Ticketholder
- Sep 9, 2022
- 265
I see, a few things/questions:
- Underlying Pathologies: Cognitive deficits can appear spontaneously as a result of mold infections which are often untested for. You may have been exposed to some malignant biomass or other exposure which would require advanced and specialized testing. I've heard people go from 0 to 100 after realizing it's been a mold infection all along. Exposure to toxins (heavy metals) in food/water are also one-shot kills that should be tested for. There are a number of viral/non-viral pathogens which attack or affect the brain ordinarily untested for unless the specific test is requested (e.g. long-Covid, amongst hundreds of other post acute infection co-morbidities). You should look into full battery blood/urine/specimen testing.
- Cerebral Injury/TBIs: You should go get a full brain fMRI scan. Just tell your PCP you hit your head accidentally a week ago and a week later onset of progressively worsening headache (must be a week post hoc, otherwise they'll be suspicious without the bruise). Any concussions lately? Even if nothing to indicate blunt trauma, you may have had a mini stroke. Make up a story so your doc can get you a script and image your brain. Better yet, present more symptoms (neurological i.e. shaking hands, weak gait) to a neurologist for more advanced scans.
- If you do have brain lesioning or some remarkable deficiency, look into Nootropics (Piracetam, Cerebrolysin, peptides (BPC157)). If you've been on long term stimulant medications look into 9-Me-Bc (the magic dopaminergic re-set cure). Lot's of excellent info on Reddit r/Nootropics r/TBI. If I could afford a full nootropic regemin with peptide therapy I'm 60% sure I could pull a 180 out of my ditch. But no money means I'm stuck in the middle of the Sahara desert without gas, and that's the end of the rope and road for me. Save as much while you can, move back with parents' or scale back expenses while you can before hitting the zero gas point of no return.
Many more modalities I can propose - HBOT and Stem cell therapy, TMS/tDCS/tACS, brain stem nerve stimulation, ketamine infusion, psychedelics, et. al. but without knowing specifics hard to gauge what happened. I'm not a doctor so don't take this as medical advice.
Was it progressive or instantaneous? Brain fog or complete loss of more than 25% cognitive acuities?
If you can still work and show up, you may not necessarily at the bottom of the ocean yet (but then again, I don't know your situation). But if you're not yet past the 500th rock bottom down to the heat of the molten core yet, you may want to make at least one (ideally more than one good-willed) attempt(s) to rule out something that can potentially be fixed.
Do you think it could be long-Covid or something else?
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I was addicted to stimulants for a long time, I used to take 4-5 grams of 3-fpm per week.. while also being on some pretty strong anti-psychotics.. for many months, do you think this could be it?
The reason that I don't consider it to be the only issue is because I can feel that I was mentally fucked. Last week I was very motivated to work, then mental issues arise and I lose my capacity to work and the issues disappeared, idk...
Last edited:
DeadManLiving
Ticketholder
- Sep 9, 2022
- 265
Yes. You may have torched your dopamine receptors. Good news is it's reversible.
Look into 9-Me-Bc and BPC-157. The first is the most powerful dopaminergic system fixer above all. Still experimental, but if you're as fucked as I am - nothing to lose lol I was on Adderall/Vyvanse for 15 years and fucked with mass quantities of RC stimulants from a-PVP, Hexen, NEP, Meth, etc ... Too many to count.
Nep was the first stim I tried, then I moved onto 3mmc for a couple of months and finally to 3fpm which I abused for over a year, with some very minor breaks... Like I said I was going to 5 grams a week, which is just insane thinking about it and I did quit them, luckily for me it wasn't that difficult due to mindset of: "if I can't have it, why care?" I moved to a different country and stims/RCs are not so easily available and I don't want to deal with the dark web in any way..
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