Any point trying to reason with a narcissist?

[Shakespear's Brother]

So you won't leave one?

Still undecided, but leaning towards either no or something very basic; I've done a bunch of drafts but I keep coming back to the fact that nothing I could say would matter to her. She simply does not care beyond on how anything affects her personally and causes her disruption.

 

[Bluefish]

I'm so sorry for you @heylightiforgot Living like this must be really unbearable, but death is scary too. I think I understand a little of how you feel. Still remembering what life was like before getting sick but no way to return to that point. We'll all find peace in the end, one way or another.

About the note. Your relationship to your parents is very complicated, so it depends on how truthful you want to be. It might be difficult to know how your parents will react in the end. Just tell them what you would like them to know. If u need to talk or anything feel free to talk to me :)

 

[heylightiforgot]

Still undecided, but leaning towards either no or something very basic; I've done a bunch of drafts but I keep coming back to the fact that nothing I could say would matter to her. She simply does not care beyond on how anything affects her personally and causes her disruption.

Would it be even more pointless just directly telling them they're a narcissist lol?

 

[CrushedHopes]

Would it be even more pointless just directly telling them they're a narcissist lol?

It would. Narcissists are self-righteous people that will **deny** any claim that they're narcissists. Either that, or they'd just shrug it off by saying, "Yeah, I'm a narcissist. So what?"

 

[Reyki6667]

None.
eitheir beat them so they fear you and leave you alone or do everything to not be around them and breathe the same air.

 

[trynacbt]

I think it's probably best to leave one.
Either they will gain something from it and find a little bit of understanding, a little bit of solace;
or they will not care.

If you don't, they may ask themselves 'why?' forever.
Perhaps they will ask themselves 'why?' even if you do leave a letter.

But if you leave one, at least there is the chance that they will gain some understanding.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Would it be even more pointless just directly telling them they're a narcissist lol?

Generally speaking, narcissists find it impossible to take responsibility for their behavior. They, themselves, believe that they are always the victim. It is always somebody else's fault, never their own. They lack the self-awareness necessary to even consider the possibility that they are narcissistic.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I'm really sorry for your situation. I can't imagine how much physical and emotional pain you're going through.

My opinion is you should leave a note. Even if you think she won't care now, maybe some years from today it may help her understand.

what about your father? Wouldn't he understand the letter?

 

[heylightiforgot]

I'm really sorry for your situation. I can't imagine how much physical and emotional pain you're going through.

My opinion is you should leave a note. Even if you think she won't care now, maybe some years from today it may help her understand.

what about your father? Wouldn't he understand the letter?

I don't think so. My parents lack empathy for different reasons: mother seems to be a full-blown BPD/narcissist, whereas father seems to be very rigid and on the 'spectrum'. So both have poor theory-of-mind.