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Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,398
There's one I just thought of today. She looked incredible.
 
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Arvinneedstodie

Arvinneedstodie

Existing is not living
Sep 17, 2018
200
Not particularly relationships and sex, but just the thought of having friends makes me suicidal. I've been so lonely for so long, i get anxious and suicidal whenever a group of people my age pass me on the street. I feel like a freak, like i'm not good enough. I wonder if it's natural instinct to weed out any social outcast and mentally ill to benefit society as a whole.
 
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Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,398
Not particularly sex, but just the thought of any relationship or having friends makes me suicidal. I've been so lonely for so long, i get anxious and suicidal whenever a group of people my age pass me on the street. I feel like a freak, like i'm not good enough. I wonder if it's natural instinct to weed out any social outcast and mentally ill to benefit society as a whole.
Yeah friends and relationships too. I often feel like I should be weeded out but I can attract women. I just never have any opportunities to meet them. I don't work and I don't have any friends.
 
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lobster salad

lobster salad

overcooked :(
Aug 27, 2020
246
Yeah, to be honest this was in my thoughts the last time I failed. I'm not sure if I should die virgin or if it even matters anyways
 
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Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,398
Yeah, to be honest this was in my thoughts the last time I failed. I'm not sure if I should die virgin or if it even matters anyways
It shouldn't because we'll be dead, but since we're alive, it bothers us. I hate this shit.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,378
Absolutely. When I was so sure I was about to get my chance, I had considered halting any plans of suicide entirely. I even considered quitting this site. It's such a selfish and disgusting thing about me that I'd flip so easily but at least I got my punishment because I no longer have that chance.
 
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Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,398
She should give you mercy sex.
This was several years ago. The reason I didn't go for it was because her personality was terrible and turned me off. She also only gave me one chance and it was clearly bad timing. Then after that she wouldn't even look me in the eye. Ridiculous
 
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CoalmineCanary

CoalmineCanary

Member
Jul 15, 2020
477
Sadly, I don't want to have a reason to stay so I sabotaged a possible romantic/sexual relationship. Yes, I haz regret. I'm a woman btw if that's relevant.
 
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Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,398
Sadly, I don't want to have a reason to stay so I sabotaged a possible romantic/sexual relationship. Yes, I haz regret. I'm a woman btw if that's relevant.
How do you overcome attachments in order to make ctb easier? My thoughts, especially my attachments are like a constant whirlwind in my head. I can't separate them from myself.
 
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CoalmineCanary

CoalmineCanary

Member
Jul 15, 2020
477
How do you overcome attachments in order to make ctb easier? My thoughts, especially my attachments are like a constant whirlwind in my head. I can't separate them from myself.

My illness kinda sabotages all the good stuff anyway. It's called it's called hope... once it's all gone what difference does it make? Personally.
Covid makes it easier to keep distance from others. Problem solved...
 
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Kramer

Kramer

Nervous wreck
Oct 27, 2020
1,398
My illness kinda sabotages all the good stuff anyway. It's called it's called hope... once it's all gone what difference does it make? Personally.
Covid makes it easier to keep distance from others. Problem solved...
I was at that point for years due to being on disability for ptsd and ocd. As a result, I rarely went for anyone. Problem is I can still attract women I really like which gives me hope. It'd be easier if I never attracted anyone.
My illness kinda sabotages all the good stuff anyway. It's called it's called hope... once it's all gone what difference does it make? Personally.
Covid makes it easier to keep distance from others. Problem solved...
I used to go on tinder and when a woman wanted to meet up for sex, i'd freak out and unmatch. But that's why I went on the app lol.
 
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U

ummwhaaat

Member
Oct 25, 2020
31
Yeah I was sure I was going to kill myself within a few years, but I met a girl about a year ago playing some game. She's really beautiful, smart, and funny and all but she told me she was lesbian. Anyway last month she told me she has had feelings for me for all this time and now she wants to meet me and be with me. I've only talked to her on voice like twice, rest has been on snapchat. I still feel like killing myself since I've never had a relationship and I'm 99% sure I'll fuck it up anyway, and even if I don't, I have a hard time believing I'll ever be happy.
 
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CoalmineCanary

CoalmineCanary

Member
Jul 15, 2020
477
I just couldn't believe any sane (and very good looking) person would be interested in me because of all my issues and they saw me at the hospital when I was at my least attractive. I guess it happens.
 
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CoalmineCanary

CoalmineCanary

Member
Jul 15, 2020
477
This is the kind of discourse I think was helpful. Thanks all.
 
ImmortalTaoist

ImmortalTaoist

Member
Nov 10, 2020
34
Not girls in general but the person who I am with right now yeah.. thinking of the future with her and the future of myself and my family. But what's the point
 
R

Reach

Member
Jun 28, 2020
63
I have someone in my life who cares about me but I'm still disgusted by myself and overall human behaviour. I'm disgusted by the thought that sex is something I supposed to do to make myself functioning and have a healthy mind because my stupid monkey brain and media telling me it's something I should achieve in life to seen as a successful guy. This whole sex thing is just disgusting for me, I'd rather be a drug user if I could without the side effects and expenses.
It's just a trick of our brain to have kids anyways, nobody would give a flying fuck about anything if it wasn't something enjoyable, that's why heroin users mostly become asexual, because it's simply a better experience without the possibility of getting rejected, which I believe can destroy lives.
 
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CoalmineCanary

CoalmineCanary

Member
Jul 15, 2020
477
I'm disgusted by the thought that sex is something I supposed to do to make myself functioning and have a healthy mind because my stupid monkey brain and media telling me it's something I should achieve in life to seen as a successful guy. This whole sex thing is just disgusting for me, I'd rather be a drug user if I could without the side effects and expenses.
It's just a trick of our brain to have kids anyways, nobody would give a flying fuck about anything if it wasn't something enjoyable, that's why heroin users mostly become asexual, because it's simply a better experience without the possibility of getting rejected, which I believe can destroy lives.

Have you read "Oryx and Crake" by Margaret Atwood? Dystopian, speculative fiction. Your post and that book seem timely right now.
 
F

Fedrea

Specialist
May 14, 2020
326
And ego comes from the brain. My brain is utilizing my desire for validation to prevent me from ctb. Evil brain
I do sympathise. It's totally human to take validation from things some might argue were trivial. They are not so trivial. Men do often seem to really value themselves by the appearance of the women or woman their are able to attract, or ability to attract a woman at all.

I just don't like seeing women talked about as if they are objects. OUR mental health is often harmed by that view of us. It wasn't you doing that so much as some of the rest of the thread and elsewhere on ss.

I hope you can meet someone long term and it makes you happier. Dating apps don't just have to be for one off sex
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
Can someone tell me what it means to "have a chance" with someone?

I was on a date with a guy one time and at the end he wanted me to go back to his apartment and I refused and he said "why won't you give me a chance" and I thought what the hell does that mean?
 
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Futile

Futile

Tired of being lonely
Sep 3, 2020
499
I'm ctbing exactly because I know I will never have sex (except for prositutes, but they don't really count)

Sometimes dreaming can ease the pain, but I look in the mirror and in seconds it's all gone
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
I'm ctbing exactly because I know I will never have sex (except for prositutes, but they don't really count)
Have you tried to get a girlfriend? or do you want sex without that? All the porn available might be misleading to men. I'm trying to understand.
There is more to male/female relationships than just genital contact. I think that might be part of the problem, to not realize that.
 
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Futile

Futile

Tired of being lonely
Sep 3, 2020
499
Have you tried to get a girlfriend? or do you want sex without that? All the porn available might be misleading to men.
Of course I have tried, maybe even too many times. In fact I'd like a girlfriend way more than just casual sex, but I can't afford to be picky so I would go with anything.

I agree that porn is bad and misleading, I'm trying to stop consuming it. Ain't easy
 
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F

Fedrea

Specialist
May 14, 2020
326
I'm ctbing exactly because I know I will never have sex (except for prositutes, but they don't really count)

Sometimes dreaming can ease the pain, but I look in the mirror and in seconds it's all gone
Oh gosh surely that could change?!
 
Futile

Futile

Tired of being lonely
Sep 3, 2020
499
Oh gosh surely that could change?!
What, the part about finding a gf or watching porn?

As for the first, if I'm finding no luck now that I'm young I can't imagine how things will be when I'll be older

As for quitting porn, I surely can if I put enough effort, the problem is finding the effort. Maybe it's true that I should care more for myself, even if the bus is near
 
F

Fedrea

Specialist
May 14, 2020
326
What, the part about finding a gf or watching porn?

As for the first, if I'm finding no luck now that I'm young I can't imagine how things will be when I'll be older

As for quitting porn, I surely can if I put enough effort, the problem is finding the effort. Maybe it's true that I should care more for myself, even if the bus is near
The finding a gf part. How old are you? The odds get easier for men as they older up to a certain point at least
 
Antigonish

Antigonish

Mage
Sep 19, 2020
593
There's one I just thought of today. She looked incredible.

Well I'm mostly gay, so I'll see a hot guy (or what I think of as hot.) and hope that we can commit suicide together, while having sex (slit wrist and dicks). Sometimes I'll see their girlfriend, and prey for a very hot suicidal threesome.
 
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