El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
477
Different people like different drugs. But if I had to recommend one, it would be MDMA. Almost everyone enjoys that.

I don't know why you want to ctb, but be warned that you might end up really liking drugs. Like really liking them. In which case you might change your mind about ending it and decide to pursue your life towards obtaining more drugs.
 
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Squidward

Squidward

This is as brave as I know how to be...
Apr 18, 2018
80
Marijuana is worth a shot. It's not magical but it's interesting and likely easy to get.

MDMA is a good suggestion, I've never heard of someone having a "bad trip" on that.

Hallucinogens can end up being unpleasant and scary but could help see a different side of things, if that's at all interesting to you.

You might have access to the fake shit like spice and bath salts, but I think even the suicidal should avoid garbage like that. No-one describes them as pleasant.
 
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FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
374
Be careful with marijuana. Pay attention to what people say and smoke it first. Don't do the edibles until you determine that you like smoking. My dumbass skipped the smoking and went straight to edibles with bad results. Worst night of my life.

I'm really interested in trying cocaine or meth. I think uppers are more my speed (pun very much intended) than downers.
 
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great-ape99

Student
Apr 22, 2018
111
Yeah do shrooms.
 
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HelpPlease

Psych ward
Sep 9, 2018
188
Ecstasy might change everything
 
PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,027
Datura
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Be careful brother, I'm not sure anything good will come of this. Not because drugs are bad, but because you may end up liking them (as El topo) has suggested then you could be in for a brief respite followed by a world of pain. My advice; not worth it.
DBD
 
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T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
Yeah do shrooms.
+1 for shrooms.

This was my first drug, even before pot. It was fantastic. Mindset and setting are huge, though --don't trip if you're mentally brittle or physically someplace you don't feel safe-- and if you have someone you trust who can sit with you for the first time, that's a good idea too.

The enthogenic --full-on trip-- doses can be amazing self-contained experiences. The first couple times I only got pretty colors, and was thinking, "entertaining, like a fireworks show in my head, but what's the big deal?" The next time, and the times after... Whoa. Major emotional shifts in perspectives, stereotypical "feeling one with the Universe" sensations, etc. And for the couple hours of comedown, a sensation of calm like I'd never even imagined possible. If only I could live in that calm.

I ended up microdosing on shrooms for about four months. It did amazing things for my anxiety, and I only stopped because I built up a tolerance and they became ineffective.

I may trip again in the next couple weeks, before my CTB date. Maybe it'll shift something. If nothing else, it's a way to let six hours slide past.

Anyway, I recommend shrooms. Physically non-toxic and non-addictive, too.
 
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lost_soul83

Wizard
Jan 7, 2019
638
Personally my favorite drug is heroin. But just please be very careful with it, it's extremely easy to get addicted to.
 
Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
Is this a joke? Have you done Datura? I would think a suicidal person would definitely end up jumping off a bridge or something. Look on Erowid - most people really don't like it.
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
MDMA, even though I havent been able to feel anything the last 5 years and haven´t been happy since age 12 one of the best days of my entire life was 4 years ago on MDMA with some friends if you get pure MDMA and it hit you just right you will experience euphoria that is out of this world like the best orgasmn you ever had times a 1000 but without it being sexual. I would hug a madras on the floor and it felt like heaven, or hugging a friend or dancing to Trance music omg that is just pure euphoria!
 
PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,027
Is this a joke? Have you done Datura? I would think a suicidal person would definitely end up jumping off a bridge or something. Look on Erowid - most people really don't like it.
I have tried it before 1 time... i am a paranoid person as it is and it did make that much worse I locked myself in my car for a while. This was a long time ago though when I was a teenager I dont do anything illegal anymore.

I just wanted to know what it was like so I tried it. Not negative, not positive, just very strange. It does make suicidal thoughts much worse but I'm glad I had the experience.
 
Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
Hmmm, I never really heard anything good about it before. Are you in the states? It's not illegal, it grows wild in a lot of places and has really pretty flowers. Same with belladonna, which is in the same family. Both have the potential to eventually kill you.
 
PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,027
Hmmm, I never really heard anything good about it before. Are you in the states? It's not illegal, it grows wild in a lot of places and has really pretty flowers. Same with belladonna, which is in the same family. Both have the potential to eventually kill you.
I did a threshold amount didnt want to be to extreme. Lol I didnt know it was legal, but I mean I dont think people would abuse that plant so I can see that... one and done for me. A tiny one and done...
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
hard to tell. how sure are you with your plans? how much time? you sound like you should start off with "softer" stuff to get used to a completely different feeling of your mindstate. i personally like downers like benzodiazepines, weed, opiates, but also dissociative hallucinogetics like ketamine (never tried an associative one like lsd or psilocybin though). peyote...DMT is the biggest experience. but you should know that you will enter different worlds, there will be no longer a room where you sat, the ground may melt while statues rise out of it and you stand on top of one while a holy entity is talking to you on an unknown language. maybe you even hit the reptiloid frequency of brain anctivity and uncover their plans to save us all from their tirannity.

yo that was fun to write, a good goodbye. no am not ctbing, just leaving as long as possible to recover.

its hard to bond to ppl dying, also so many new users ...thats the zeitgeist of the forum.

got to like many of the ppl here, hope we stay in contact or see again. i dindt pm ppl like @AnnihilatedAnna @21Neberg @Weeping Garbage Can @Kim @kimi etc but i hope you know i wish you the best

i wont come back as pro lifer but maybe with a real life and therefore motivation to follow my hobbys, medical stuff is always interesting. and i have people rather die if they do it anyways instead of making them suffer seizures and then repeat and repeat ctb under hardened conditions. but please dont play arount too much with these thoughts when youre very young, do at least your 30s or 40s or something in between before you decide. i speak not for all cases but you know everyone feels like the one who is most betrayed by fate but we all feel that
if god exists i hope he can at least help us recover some of the shitty stuff on our planet
 
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Weeping Garbage Can

Weeping Garbage Can

ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
Oct 31, 2018
320
@Memento Mori I think this was an awesome goodbye post, so very you :) Thank you so much for tagging me, I wish you the very best and I hope life treats you kindly. I appreciate the support you've shown me and other users on here, I think you're a lovely friend. I'll miss you, Memento, but I'll be thinking of you and hoping you're ok out there. Please PM me if you would like contact information. gives you a giant hug ❤️
 
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AnnihilatedAnna

AnnihilatedAnna

A Joke
Apr 17, 2018
1,346
@Memento Mori I wish you all the best in the world too❤️ From when I have talked to you in threads and stuff, you are a decent and funny guy. I'm going to miss you. I wish you the best of luck with your recovery. Hugss
 
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Letmego. Please

Letmego. Please

Wizard
Nov 18, 2018
619
@Memento Mori

Honestly so glad you are feeling like giving life a go, i have enjoyed your company but to know you are leaving here to go find new experiences has made my day, week & year. As one of those 40 something people i really hope someone takes your advice.

Wishing you the best for all that you do, respect xx
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
hard to tell. how sure are you with your plans? how much time? you sound like you should start off with "softer" stuff to get used to a completely different feeling of your mindstate. i personally like downers like benzodiazepines, weed, opiates, but also dissociative hallucinogetics like ketamine (never tried an associative one like lsd or psilocybin though). peyote...DMT is the biggest experience. but you should know that you will enter different worlds, there will be no longer a room where you sat, the ground may melt while statues rise out of it and you stand on top of one while a holy entity is talking to you on an unknown language. maybe you even hit the reptiloid frequency of brain anctivity and uncover their plans to save us all from their tirannity.

yo that was fun to write, a good goodbye. no am not ctbing, just leaving as long as possible to recover.

its hard to bond to ppl dying, also so many new users ...thats the zeitgeist of the forum.

got to like many of the ppl here, hope we stay in contact or see again. i dindt pm ppl like @AnnihilatedAnna @21Neberg @Weeping Garbage Can @Kim @kimi etc but i hope you know i wish you the best

i wont come back as pro lifer but maybe with a real life and therefore motivation to follow my hobbys, medical stuff is always interesting. and i have people rather die if they do it anyways instead of making them suffer seizures and then repeat and repeat ctb under hardened conditions. but please dont play arount too much with these thoughts when youre very young, do at least your 30s or 40s or something in between before you decide. i speak not for all cases but you know everyone feels like the one who is most betrayed by fate but we all feel that
if god exists i hope he can at least help us recover some of the shitty stuff on our planet

I wish you nothing but the best. You always seemed like such a kind person in your messages :)
 
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T

toolateforme

Student
Jul 2, 2018
158
There's a lot of different stuff that'd be cool to try, but you also have to remember that mindset & setting is very important - I haven't seen a lot of stuff on that here. Usually unless you're taking something like benzos, opioids, dissociatives which can be quite relaxing regardless of your circumstances, your mindset/setting can really affect how the course of a drug will go.

Like shrooms for example, they're fucking awesome but if you're planning to CTB it might not be that great of an idea and might make you feel more like shit (granted, you're gonna die anyway but why suffer for the experience?). This is why it's often recommended to prepare in advance for a trip instead of taking it impulsively because you don't give a shit about the consequences at the time. They can really make the bad thoughts and feelings percolate to the surface, which is especially more dangerous if you're prone to delusions and/or psychosis. Weed, too - some people are fine on it, others get horribly anxious and get bad panic attacks on it.. which is weird, because there's people that do fine on psychedelics but just can't handle weed.

I don't know much about MDMA, but I haven't heard of people having a bad time on it myself. It can even be done at home although it's a little more uncommon than taking it in a social settings. My first time taking it (well I took 6apb, which isn't exactly MDMA but it's very close in structure and effects) I took it at home and I was fine, I just did the usual stuff I did except I enjoyed it a lot more. Also can make you more rambly and lovey dovey so it'll probably help if you have someone to chat with in the meantime, which I did. Although I have also read that people who take it at home find it makes them feel lonelier. That will be something you'd have to research and decide on your own.

Someone here mentioned Datura, and while it belongs to an interesting class of drugs with interesting effects if doesn't have much recreational value if that's what you're looking for. It's a deliriant that makes you hallucinate, but unlike with psychedelics you won't really have insight into your hallucinations - so instead of thinking huh it's making me see spiders, you're going to think holy shit there are actually bugs in my room.

So it ultimately depends on the kind of experience you're looking for. Once you find something you think you'd be interested in try to research it and plan accordingly.
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
This is why it's often recommended to prepare in advance for a trip instead of taking it impulsively because you don't give a shit about the consequences at the time.
This is an excellent point to consider. The times I got the most out of shrooms were after I had done a bit more reading and encountered the recommendation to take three days for a trip:

Day 1: Spend the day considering what you would ask the Universe. Formulate some questions; actually write them down.
Day 2: Trip --and nothing else.
Day 3: Spend the day contemplating what you experienced on Day 2.

What I discovered is that even though the questions I formulated were never themselves answered, the exercise put me in an open mindset where I was prepared to receive and could accept the insights I discovered. I was mentally tuned to "hear" what I encountered under the influence of the shrooms.

A trip for me takes about six hours: 20 minutes from ingestion to "I think I need to just lie here and look at the pretty patterns on the ceiling..." At about 4:30 I'm cogent/coordinated enough to sit up and enjoy the serenity of comedown. By 6:00 I'd be safe driving and the real world is, sadly, again the most real element in my life.

The final Day 3 contemplation is, for me, less a formal exercise than a matter of not going back to business as usual, wasting time on the internet, etc. Stay in my own head, give myself permission to let my mind wander and play with the insights I've gathered the day before. Invest the time in absorbing what I experienced.

Again, with the caveat that calm/open mindset and safe/comforting setting are imperative, I recommend the experience to anyone.
 
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Sick Boy

Sick Boy

Student
Oct 19, 2018
186
If you´re suffering from depression or some type of mental illness i wouldn´t recommend to try drugs for the fist time,it´s only going to make your life worst
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
If you´re suffering from depression or some type of mental illness i wouldn´t recommend to try drugs for the fist time,it´s only going to make your life worst
Worth considering but... Shrooms dramatically mitigated my anxiety, both in the enthogenic sessions I just described and as microdosing. I've heard LSD will do the same. Both are now under consideration as treatment options for "untreatable" depression. Ketamine is showing enormous promise for depression and PTSD. MDMA has been similarly used for treatment of depression.

Caution is warranted, but abstinence may result in lost opportunities. I was straight-arrow for my first 45 years. I still don't drink alcohol. Trying shrooms under the guidance of an experienced friend was one of the best things I ever did.
 
Nutcase

Nutcase

Member
Feb 10, 2019
32
Alcohol being the only drug I have any serious experience with, I can't say the brief moments of pleasure I've gotten from it were worth the chaos and embarrassment it brought me. Only thing I could see it being good for is to give you enough courage to ctb.
 
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