greekyfish10
i’m kinda screwed in the head but aren’t we all
- Aug 1, 2020
- 51
i don't really know if i count as a christian, but i used to be one. i'm still kind of thinking about it though, like going back to it i guess. but yeah i mean, i want to ctb.
Sometimes I get thoughts about it, and when those thoughts come I always know for certain that demons are bothering me and demons are planting those thoughts in my mind. When they come up I start to sing worship songs to God loudly to drown out the demonic voices. Hymns especially
Yes. I'm a Christian and I'm planning to kill myself. I don't see anything paradoxical about it. Suicide is not condemned in the Bible, and in the past, it wasn't as stigmatized as it is now.
Each person is soo so so valuable, bearing the image of God. Each person is even so valuable that God would offer himself as a ransom sacrifice for each person. The Bible says that Jesus carried our infirmities and by his wounds we are healed. So Jesus died on the cross so that we could have peace, joy, a wonderful life, happiness… (Isaiah 53)
I'm a Christian. If God knows the beginning and end, why would He still let people He knows will commit suicide (CTB), be born into this world? Like what's the point?
I know there is a higher power. I know there is a greater love. I also know that I was divinely betrayed, and the experience of that love was not enough to make up for that betrayal.
I was a BAG Christian. Moved from a passive Catholic upbringing to an evalengical happy clappy church.
Being told I'm a useless piece of shit and that I can't do anything on my own to improve myself every Sunday and that I need to rely on a distant unresponsive magical sky fairy was not good for my mental state because nothing I tried; begging pleading crying distraught prayer, conversations with supposed authorities etc yielded no results or change.
Christianity for me was a horrific soul destroying experience that has significantly contributed to me being a member of this forum.
Being told I'm a useless piece of shit and that I can't do anything on my own to improve myself every Sunday and that I need to rely on a distant unresponsive magical sky fairy was not good for my mental state because nothing I tried; begging pleading crying distraught prayer, conversations with supposed authorities etc yielded no results or change.
Christianity for me was a horrific soul destroying experience that has significantly contributed to me being a member of this forum.
Yeah. My thoughts about how God feels about it change like every day though. Some days I think that my desire to ctb is my punishment for being bad, and I'll definitely go to Hell once I ctb. Most of the time though, I think God understands and will forgive me.
Of course God prefers that we do our best to stay alive and live by Him. But God knows everything, so He knows how, why, and what we feel, and He understands and sympathizes. Ctb is not the ideal path that He has planned for us, but He loves us anyways and He does His best to watch out for us and lead us towards the right path while we have the chance.
I believe in evolution and stuff so I don't think God intended for us to have mental illnesses either. It's just a thing that happens, it doesn't change His love for us. So far all the good that's ever happened in my life have been acts of divine intervention, so I'm holding out for another miracle. If it happens then I'll put it off again. If not then I'll be back with God sooner than expected I guess. Or maybe right on time, who knows. In the end we can't talk to God directly so we'll always be in the dark as to what the real truth is.
Of course God prefers that we do our best to stay alive and live by Him. But God knows everything, so He knows how, why, and what we feel, and He understands and sympathizes. Ctb is not the ideal path that He has planned for us, but He loves us anyways and He does His best to watch out for us and lead us towards the right path while we have the chance.
I believe in evolution and stuff so I don't think God intended for us to have mental illnesses either. It's just a thing that happens, it doesn't change His love for us. So far all the good that's ever happened in my life have been acts of divine intervention, so I'm holding out for another miracle. If it happens then I'll put it off again. If not then I'll be back with God sooner than expected I guess. Or maybe right on time, who knows. In the end we can't talk to God directly so we'll always be in the dark as to what the real truth is.
I remember a member on here saying that Jesus Himself committed some sort of sacrifice. Like a form of suicide. Also, I believe no one goes to hell when they CTB since they've already experienced hell. Wouldn't a Loving, Merciful God take us back? We need a nice, long vacation, cool down period after all we've experienced here on Earth.
I don't think that suicide is ever part of God's plan for anyone. Like I don't think he wants anyone's life to get to the point that they don't want to live anymore. Instead I think that God wants the absolute best life for each and every one of us. We're born into this world so that we can live that wonderful life and so that we can fulfill the divine purpose that he created us to fulfill.
Yes! So why would a God that cares about you this much not be willing to talk to you directly? I think if he cares that much then he wants to connect that much.
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Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
How do you know it's not demons that are making you think you should NOT ctb? I mean life can be literally torture. Demons may WANT us to not ctb so they can continue to hurt us.
Has it ever occurred to you that we are in hell here? Without realizing it? And when we die we are finally released?
Demons are very smart and very tricky. They have no problem keeping us here to make us suffer. Maybe they are so tricky they want us to think they want us to die, when actually they want us to live and continue to suffer.
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Marktheghost
Paragon
- Feb 20, 2020
- 911
I was a christian when I first decided to kill myself. I know for certain that the God described by the bible does not exist now though.
Incorrigible77777
I was born human and I'm sorry for that. ——太宰 治
- Jul 9, 2020
- 229
Yes I'm also Christian. And I know a few Christian celebrities who CTBed. Sulli who died last October was also Christian.
It doesn't seem entirely pointless because everyone is resurrected (Revelation).
If I had a choice, it might have been to never live again, but it is how it is.
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IMO Religions and their rules are man made. Regarding the Christian bible, it was written and tweaked by man.
Religion uses fear to control people and to gain followers. Humankind can do whatever it chooses and that includes following whatever religion we're exposed to (from parents or society). And by CTB'ing won't automatically give your soul one-way ticket to eternal "fictious" biblical hell. I'm so sorry to be blunt here, and I hate to tell you that religions are scams!
Religion uses fear to control people and to gain followers. Humankind can do whatever it chooses and that includes following whatever religion we're exposed to (from parents or society). And by CTB'ing won't automatically give your soul one-way ticket to eternal "fictious" biblical hell. I'm so sorry to be blunt here, and I hate to tell you that religions are scams!
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Well, as long as a person is alive, they have a chance to know God/Jesus, be saved and enjoy a fulfilling life in Jesus. Demons want to completely demolish that possibility and encourage ctb.
BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,361
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
How do you know this please? They can attack us while we are here even if we believe in Jesus. I've known churchgoing faithful Christians living with severe schizophrenia. If that isn't demonic attack what is.
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GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
God directly told George W. Bush to invade Iraq, too. Really caring.
Lost in a Dream
He/him - Metal head
- Feb 22, 2020
- 1,744
That was my experience with Christianity as well. It is the reason that I can not and will not ever be a Christian again, even if I could still believe in it. Luckily for me, I managed to find online support from others who left the religion/church afterwards, but it isn't always enough for some people. Since I don't want to derail the thread, I won't say much more. I just wanted you to know that I understand.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
I was a small child hearing about how a nice man was tortured and was supposed to worship him and think he was God. I was repulsed by hearing of this torture and still am. I couldn't understand why when my parents knew how sensitive I was that I should be constantly told and shown pictures of a man hanging by his hands that way.
And does it really make sense that all the bad things we do are magically erased by him hanging by his hands that way? How does that work exactly?
2000 years ago there was a lot of public torture and brutality. It was commonplace. It was accepted. There were live animals being sacrificed in church to get favors from god. So Christianity is a holdover from that barbaric time. So the idea that someone has to die a brutal tortured death to get favors from god is part of that culture. If this superior being Jesus is brutally tortured, willingly, then the rest of us don't have to be tortured after we die. It's a trade off, in the style of ancient belief in sacrifice. In that it's similar to Santeria.
And it's similar to the ancient Mayans, who tore the living hearts out of people and children to get favors from whatever the gods were they worshiped. So Christianity, Santeria and ancient Mayan sacrifices all have this belief in common. Voodoo too come to think of it.
And does it really make sense that all the bad things we do are magically erased by him hanging by his hands that way? How does that work exactly?
2000 years ago there was a lot of public torture and brutality. It was commonplace. It was accepted. There were live animals being sacrificed in church to get favors from god. So Christianity is a holdover from that barbaric time. So the idea that someone has to die a brutal tortured death to get favors from god is part of that culture. If this superior being Jesus is brutally tortured, willingly, then the rest of us don't have to be tortured after we die. It's a trade off, in the style of ancient belief in sacrifice. In that it's similar to Santeria.
And it's similar to the ancient Mayans, who tore the living hearts out of people and children to get favors from whatever the gods were they worshiped. So Christianity, Santeria and ancient Mayan sacrifices all have this belief in common. Voodoo too come to think of it.
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Thanks for replying. I will never go back as well. I am an atheist now.
I wish there was something like AA for ex-christians.
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Eternal Paradise = inherently superior to life so everyone who truly believes that should want to get there ASAP especially when it's outside of control. Christians typically seem to be the most afraid of death to me though. Which isn't surprising as one of religions functions is to deny death.
LetzteAusfahrt
Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
- Jun 27, 2020
- 590
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
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