Seeking advice from people who know what it's like to have been abused, otherwise you probably don't have the empathy to understand.
I just cannot seem to cbt with this still weighing on my mind. There is no reason to forgive. When the perpetrators continue doing the same things. Where's the lessons in life when injustice rules. Nobody has a conscience, everyone believes either the world revolves around them or they worship scumbags who put themselves out. (Lost the big world) people like Logan Paul Andrew rate who laugh at suicidal people. The typical sheeple is kissing their ass. Smiling while their laughing at them.
They want to be slaves and want their children to be even more mistreated slaves.
I have fought hard to survive for over 30 years now. I was born with two different genetic diseases that meant physically it has been very difficult for me and my father discouraged me from seeking treatment telling me there was nothing wrong that I was a hypochondriac. So I ended up ignoring stomach bleeds and got in a right mess hemoglobin down to 60 I was still working construction.
Until collapsing and it took4 years of these flares-recovery-flares-recovery.
I can't help but hate my parents, regarding this specific situation, my father for his ignorance and childish belief that if he plodded on things would be fine and he would have a normal family with grandchildren. But because of him not acknowledging and teaching me to ignore major symptoms it made me procreating impossibledue to losing my reproductive capabilities, which is good. But when it's done in such a. Sinister way. He is a coward in the sense he blood from a haemorroid and was making sure everyone knew he was in pain and getting them to worry.
Everyone I was surrounded by from birth was a despicable leech, coward, entitled. Worst of all they see what's going on in the world but will stay loyal to the government till the end. Whilst blaming ones who actually cared about them.
I would see a different view if I had of been able bodied/minded.
But to just be set up to fail?
To play a losing game?
What is the 'lesson' in that?
My dumb mother was more like a nasty sister and would hoard the child benefit because she grew up in a poor Catholic family literally when she was 17 she went from having nothing to getting child benefit but not caring for me leaving me in nappies all day. I don't blame her as much because she had a much worse start than my father but her idea was that "I suffered so he should too!"
Because they feel powerless to hurt anyone who hurt them.they choose to hurt their own child. And that's the shit humanity. There's no truly good people, it's not even dual, it's literally 90% evil deed with 10% just to keep people turning the wheels of pain.
I do wonder if the string pullers have me a miserable life as they want me to explore and use me as a tool in their agendas.
Even when I have a hit of heroin I just get some good sleep then wake up hating worse. Even heroin, crack don't take away the resentment.
So dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, norepinephrine don't seem to make it any easier. It would make it easier. Like my plan is to have a good dose of ketamine in top of the heroin and benzo maintenance habits I already have, which I will take a bit more.of them too, just so I'm.not 'smashed' and don't mess up, as I'll be either jumping a height a moving in front of a speed train.
I don't know how to go why still hating the hate that was put upon me when I didn't deserve it.
Well another day in paradise...
I hope no one is in despair today and sorry to anyone suffering.
I just cannot seem to cbt with this still weighing on my mind. There is no reason to forgive. When the perpetrators continue doing the same things. Where's the lessons in life when injustice rules. Nobody has a conscience, everyone believes either the world revolves around them or they worship scumbags who put themselves out. (Lost the big world) people like Logan Paul Andrew rate who laugh at suicidal people. The typical sheeple is kissing their ass. Smiling while their laughing at them.
They want to be slaves and want their children to be even more mistreated slaves.
I have fought hard to survive for over 30 years now. I was born with two different genetic diseases that meant physically it has been very difficult for me and my father discouraged me from seeking treatment telling me there was nothing wrong that I was a hypochondriac. So I ended up ignoring stomach bleeds and got in a right mess hemoglobin down to 60 I was still working construction.
Until collapsing and it took4 years of these flares-recovery-flares-recovery.
I can't help but hate my parents, regarding this specific situation, my father for his ignorance and childish belief that if he plodded on things would be fine and he would have a normal family with grandchildren. But because of him not acknowledging and teaching me to ignore major symptoms it made me procreating impossibledue to losing my reproductive capabilities, which is good. But when it's done in such a. Sinister way. He is a coward in the sense he blood from a haemorroid and was making sure everyone knew he was in pain and getting them to worry.
Everyone I was surrounded by from birth was a despicable leech, coward, entitled. Worst of all they see what's going on in the world but will stay loyal to the government till the end. Whilst blaming ones who actually cared about them.
I would see a different view if I had of been able bodied/minded.
But to just be set up to fail?
To play a losing game?
What is the 'lesson' in that?
My dumb mother was more like a nasty sister and would hoard the child benefit because she grew up in a poor Catholic family literally when she was 17 she went from having nothing to getting child benefit but not caring for me leaving me in nappies all day. I don't blame her as much because she had a much worse start than my father but her idea was that "I suffered so he should too!"
Because they feel powerless to hurt anyone who hurt them.they choose to hurt their own child. And that's the shit humanity. There's no truly good people, it's not even dual, it's literally 90% evil deed with 10% just to keep people turning the wheels of pain.
I do wonder if the string pullers have me a miserable life as they want me to explore and use me as a tool in their agendas.
Even when I have a hit of heroin I just get some good sleep then wake up hating worse. Even heroin, crack don't take away the resentment.
So dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, norepinephrine don't seem to make it any easier. It would make it easier. Like my plan is to have a good dose of ketamine in top of the heroin and benzo maintenance habits I already have, which I will take a bit more.of them too, just so I'm.not 'smashed' and don't mess up, as I'll be either jumping a height a moving in front of a speed train.
I don't know how to go why still hating the hate that was put upon me when I didn't deserve it.
Well another day in paradise...
I hope no one is in despair today and sorry to anyone suffering.
