Any addicts here?

[coked_pigeon]

How does your drug use affect your CTB desires/plans?

I'm at the point where I pretty much have everything I need, but I keep procrastinating - in large part because getting high temporarily keeps the depression at bay.

On the other hand, I've been even more reckless than usual with substances because I keep telling myself that I'll be dead soon enough so why not enjoy the high while it lasts.

 

[eggsalad6167]

former addict.
hard drugs definitely sent the bad thoughts somewhere else like you say, but that was pretty much the only good thing about them, addiction is pure fucking hell.

my former addiction really messed me up and it definitely has a negative impact on my current state of mind.

I definitely get what you mean though. If I could have only the positive effects of drugs I'd be taking them constantly.

 

[hippiedeath]

I use drugs, and I may be an addict. I have a high tolerance for alcohol. Drugs are an escape until they wear off, then I'm back to being depressed. It's something to do. I'm bored with life.

 

[death_bed221]

I am a alcoholic. Drugs do nothing for me. Didn't try meth or heroin or hard stuff like that tho .

 

[Jisatsu]

I understand your struggle, I keep getting high instead of just ctb... I wish I would just do it but I guess I just have a thing for suffering.

 

[Shiksa]

I've been sober for some time but I've struggled with addiction for years. Sobriety definitely helps keep my life in order but emotionally and physically I feel so numbed out 24/7. It's slowly becoming so much harder to justify staying sober. Getting high feels like the only thing that gives joy anymore. I'm getting ready to relapse pretty soon. My plan for CTB involves getting extremely intoxicated and shooting myself at some point.

 

[CannabisMuncher]

drugs is probably the second best thing keeping me here while simultaneously making me feel even worse. I always relapse when im high or drunk but yet its a buzz i feel is worth sticking for.

 

[carrotzilla]

Just caffeine in the form of coffee and tea

 

[Pale_Rider]

I was on methadone maintenance, and they messed up gave me a 3rd bottle one day. They revived me a block away. Opiates were like air for me at the time.

Other then that yes uppers early on they help imo. I'm kinda ok lately thanks to some but I'm also not happy about it, because I was clean off the illegals for 8 years.

 

[Emerita]

My main addiction is crystal meth. My tolerance is so high and Im still suicidal on it but it gives some relief. The extra impulsive nature on it will probably help me out because I just don't care I just want to die.

 

[Eriktf]

im trying to quit alcohol, might be about to relapse soon i think
i did quit drugs, used just about everything

it can easy send you over the edge to ctb but its also a reason to live, if you get to be high/drunk as much as you want/able you end up livng in a "bubble" not caring that your alive, all you care about are to make sure you have something to use tomorrow, ctb are not something i think about to much if im using, but if i think about ctb its so much more intense and SI are not as strong

 

[unluckysadness]

benzos but I don't know if I'm really addict. It gives a little relief for anxiety but drowsiness sucks

 

[Daphne]

Yes, a narctic I'm kicking
Makes me super easy going.
Things that should piss me off don't
i feel relaxed

I just got off and now my angry feelings are starting to come back. I'd rather be laidback and lazy but that's not sustainable

 

[bankai]

Yeah, I've been struggling with alcohol lately.

 

[L0nelyTaff07]

I used to use opioids and sometimes psychedelics, but I managed to get off that after counselling + therapy. I really miss opioids, but it's been a real struggle to get hold of them.
I'm still drinking alcohol and smoking weed on most days. Getting drunk or stoned, for me, makes things go away for a while.

With my CTB plan, I'm probably going to get myself kinda inhibited and intoxicated to do it. I think it'll be a lot easier and less painful that way.