Venting Anxiety and Paranoia

[Scribble Fan]

I feel close to the edge of not being able to handle this anymore. I'm sick of the anxiety attacks and my internal monologue always running me into the ground (internalized abuse passed down to me). It's so hard and draining having to deal with these feelings 24/7 I have no energy for anything else, they make me feel like screaming out the window. I wonder how I used to cope when I was younger? I suppose, as the years drag on by, strength wears thin if constantly under attack.

I can't believe it's getting worse. I didn't think things could get worse for a hikikomori, alone in my room, but of course life found a way to torture me further. Now on top of depression I get to deal with this. I'm just about finished. I'm fed up with living, this joke is one trail to fail after another. When do I get some rest? I'm beginning to genuinely think I'm cursed.

Well, the walls are closing in and I can't breath. Time to retreat into my dreams. Later everyone.

 

[puppy9]

me too, sometimes even the sound of my neighbor sweeping gives me extreme anxiety.I just can't cope with a lot of stimuli.

 

[Rollo]

I'm sick of the anxiety attacks and my internal monologue always running me into the ground (internalized abuse passed down to me).

What are you anxious about?

 

[Scribble Fan]

What are you anxious about?

When I feel vulnerable or weak from exhaustion I get deeply anxious. I feel unsafe. In my depressive state I always feel like this so there's no escape. I also feel like I will be attacked by people for no reason sometimes, probably due to the way I was raised. I have a hard time trusting.

And then there's pretty much everything else. Like puppy9 said, "I just can't cope with a lot of stimuli."

Thanks for asking!

 

[Rollo]

When I feel vulnerable or weak from exhaustion I get deeply anxious. I feel unsafe. In my depressive state I always feel like this so there's no escape. I also feel like I will be attacked by people for no reason sometimes, probably due to the way I was raised. I have a hard time trusting.

And then there's pretty much everything else. Like puppy9 said, "I just can't cope with a lot of stimuli."

Thanks for asking!

Well truth be told - our world is not really a safe place. Anything can happen to anyone at any moment. People do attack other people and sometimes they need quite little. You can just say the wrong thing, completely innocent in your mind, yet they're gonna be offended. And once they're offended - attack is always a possibility.

So it's not like you're feeling danger when there is no danger. Sense of danger is healthy cause danger exists and if something happens you will just have to endure it, bear through. But feeling danger and avoiding danger are two different things. I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to avoid danger. Like every time I go for a walk just cause I want to - I have an acute realization that by doing so I'm exposing myself to danger. Still I think it worth it and so I'm doing it.

And the same goes for even such a basic thing as thinking. If you feel danger and aim to avoid it then the very first thing you do is think about this danger and how to avoid it. Yet in many cases I do feel danger yet I choose not to do anything about it, not to avoid it and so among other things I won't be thinking about it.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Well truth be told - our world is not really a safe place. Anything can happen to anyone at any moment. People do attack other people and sometimes they need quite little. You can just say the wrong thing, completely innocent in your mind, yet they're gonna be offended. And once they're offended - attack is always a possibility.

So it's not like you're feeling danger when there is no danger. Sense of danger is healthy cause danger exists and if something happens you will just have to endure it, bear through. But feeling danger and avoiding danger are two different things. I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to avoid danger. Like every time I go for a walk just cause I want to - I have an acute realization that by doing so I'm exposing myself to danger. Still I think it worth it and so I'm doing it.

And the same goes for even such a basic thing as thinking. If you feel danger and aim to avoid it then the very first thing you do is think about this danger and how to avoid it. Yet in many cases I do feel danger yet I choose not to do anything about it, not to avoid it and so among other things I won't be thinking about it.

That's an interesting way of doing things. The best way to avoid being imprisoned in a fear of danger is to just accept danger... the advice is much appreciated!

 

[okkkk]

Though im not a hikki I relate to having a constant internal monolouge that wont fucking stop. I am so jealous of people who seem to have no problem with self doubt. For me at least I definetly got if from my parents. They would constantly compare me to whoevers around. and are the epitome of paranoid.

Im setting up an appointment with a new psych also. I was on a low dose of clonazepam but that didnt seem to help. medication is the route im on right now. I really hope that you can overcome this. Having good people that care about your wellbeing is the best thing you can hope for in life and i sincerely hope that you can grab it one day.

 

[not_a_robot]

When I feel vulnerable or weak from exhaustion I get deeply anxious. I feel unsafe. In my depressive state I always feel like this so there's no escape. I also feel like I will be attacked by people for no reason sometimes, probably due to the way I was raised. I have a hard time trusting.

And then there's pretty much everything else. Like puppy9 said, "I just can't cope with a lot of stimuli."

Thanks for asking!

I miss Scribble.

 

[justanotherday]

I feel close to the edge of not being able to handle this anymore. I'm sick of the anxiety attacks and my internal monologue always running me into the ground (internalized abuse passed down to me). It's so hard and draining having to deal with these feelings 24/7 I have no energy for anything else, they make me feel like screaming out the window. I wonder how I used to cope when I was younger? I suppose, as the years drag on by, strength wears thin if constantly under attack.

I can't believe it's getting worse. I didn't think things could get worse for a hikikomori, alone in my room, but of course life found a way to torture me further. Now on top of depression I get to deal with this. I'm just about finished. I'm fed up with living, this joke is one trail to fail after another. When do I get some rest? I'm beginning to genuinely think I'm cursed.

Well, the walls are closing in and I can't breath. Time to retreat into my dreams. Later everyone.

Same here.... I live in a constant state of fear and dread. I do not take any medication for it, because I cannot tolerated side effects from pills.