Venting Another vent thread, of course.

[untothedepths]

i tried having friends. I basically know damn well, even without proof, that I've either pissed people off for whatever reason I don't know or I'm being blatantly targeted to be constantly hurt. I'm sick and tired of living around abusers my entire life. I can't get away from them. Once someone starts telling me stuff about how this or that is bad I immediately get scared and want to distance myself because that stupid shit has been used before as a scheme to isolate me so I can be psychologically tormented again. None of them would spend one second wanting to live my life, but I can't ever be left the fuck alone. I didn't do anything to anyone, I've always tried to be respect, polite, and kind. I've tried to be generous and understanding, and its gotten me here, just as if I was really as evil as I guess life is trying to make me. I'm so tired, SaSu. I'm really tired of this shit. No money to "fix" my problems. All but one person in my entire life has always had some sort of ulterior motive apparently.

I was marked since born. I feel like, for once, I am entilted to die MY WAY. I deserve it. No one can say shit deserving to hear unless they can understand a modicum of how it feels to be me.

 

[Viranamari]

I understand how you feel and I have been on that similar position for a long time now. You aren't the one to blame for all your failed friendships, as those types of things sometimes happen without even a proper reason. The world is filled with lots of cruel people after all and we can't possibly like or befriend every single person in the world. Maybe if your comfortable, you might open up to making friends on this forum also as there are probably many other people in your situation.
You have every right to CTB. Don't let another person tell you otherwise.