Another Sleepless Night

[Graham.N]

These nights are becoming more frequent and I can't take it anymore. Sleep was the last thing that I had. Now every aspect of my life is depressing. I am a waste of space and everyone hates me. No matter what I do I feel physically sick and am in pain. There are momentary brief periods where I feel marginally okay, but even when I try to talk to my parents they want nothing to do with me. They shut down the conversation, and yell at me for expressing how I feel. I am disconnected for all of my family and have no one. The more I think about it now the more I feel comfortable killing myself. I will not be missed. I try to talk to my parents about subjects they are interested in and the change the topic or pretend that I am not even there. Tonight they were watching baseball and I tried to talk about baseball and they changed the subject and wouldn't even let me speak

 

[tryme]

Trash family is a common thing. Even though a lot of people here seem to be concerned about their family, so maybe it's 50/50. I don't speak to anyone in my family since 10 years unless i absolutely have to. As for sleep im on a counter to CTB or death, so i fell into a habit of sleeping 2 hours and waking up. Sometimes i oversleep as a coping mechanism. But sleeping problems ruin the whole day.

 

[Graham.N]

Trash family is a common thing. Even though a lot of people here seem to be concerned about their family, so maybe it's 50/50. I don't speak to anyone in my family since 10 years unless i absolutely have to. As for sleep im on a counter to CTB or death, so i fell into a habit of sleeping 2 hours and waking up. Sometimes i oversleep as a coping mechanism. But sleeping problems ruin the whole day.

I just need to get back on sleeping pills. My sleep problems never use to be like this ever. I could drink up to 2 or 3 energy drinks a day with 300 mg of caffeine each and do this every day and fall asleep by 2 am every day. Oh and I wasn't taking sleeping pills then. Maybe someone is drugging me. I would have to stop eating and drinking fluids to test this claim. Or at least have to prepare all my own food that is packaged. But if someone is drugging me why wouldn't they just poison me and kill me?

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand finding it painful and torturous to exist, it's just so dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I wish you the best.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

It's strange how your parents react to your attempts to have a conversation. That sounds soul-crushing. I'm sorry you have to endure that.