Another mother's day, another failure

[hockeymum9999]

Thank goodness I survived Mother's Day this year. Every holiday that passes gets harder and harder to deal with. It feels like one failure after another.

My mom and I used to be really close. The older she gets, the less patience she has with me. I know I am a disappointed to her. 10 years of post-seconday education and have nothing to show for it.

How was your Mother's Day?

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Mines dead now

She was a good typical example of a modern woman that
Outclassed the men that she associated with. Media often promotes narrative women going more for higher Ed and I think it's true she was a pioneer in that

I never would have told her this but I'm glad she passed away in the manner she did rather than wait for after there are no more painkillers available

I got the marketing emails in the inbox and just rolled my eyes

 

[Sleeper System]

Dealing with my depression and suicidal issues is hard on holidays. Especially mothers day. I love my mom so much. I usually call her and wish her a happy day and ask if she wants anything. I usually get her cloths or a new jacket. This year I am struggling so hard that I just called her wished her a happy day and then said ok gotta go. I'm such a useless unforgivable peace of shit.

My brother hit me up randomly after not speaking to me for a few months and suggested we take her to eat tomorrow. I agreed but now I feel sick at the thought of putting on the mask and pretending everything is ok with me so i don't worry anyone.

 

[whywere]

My "parents" have been gone for a while now, but I never saw them again after May 1974, when they kicked me out and never wanted any form of contact with me, 100% their choice. when my "mother" passed on, the local hospital called to inform me and that was that.

Walter

 

[FuneralCry]

Mothers Day was a different date in England. I'm sorry that you are in this situation, I know that it can be hard to carry on when you are struggling. Living is very tiring and I understand that it can be awful when things just get worse. I hope you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[ablmnop]

I'm a mother to a toddler. I hate mother's Day. I'm not a good mom and just feel like garbage. I need to stick around for my kid but it's torture. I just countdown till he goes to bed.

 

[hockeymum9999]

I'm a mother to a toddler. I hate mother's Day. I'm not a good mom and just feel like garbage. I need to stick around for my kid but it's torture. I just countdown till he goes to bed.

Being a mom at any age is hard. I had my first when I had just turned 17 and placed her for adoption. 10 years later I had my 2nd child. I did have an open adoption until about 2 years ago when she abruptly cut all contact. My oldest son moved out in Feb. and hasn't spoken to me since then. He is the one child that I gave my all too as he struggled with ADHD and school. My other 2 are wonderful children and they are the reason I am hanging on.

It still doesn't make it easy. I am in a loveless marriage of almost 23 years. Hubby is a good man and good father but just sucks ass as a husband. I can't hold down a job so I have to stay put in my dark and lonely prison.

 

[ablmnop]

Being a mom at any age is hard. I had my first when I had just turned 17 and placed her for adoption. 10 years later I had my 2nd child. I did have an open adoption until about 2 years ago when she abruptly cut all contact. My oldest son moved out in Feb. and hasn't spoken to me since then. He is the one child that I gave my all too as he struggled with ADHD and school. My other 2 are wonderful children and they are the reason I am hanging on.

It still doesn't make it easy. I am in a loveless marriage of almost 23 years. Hubby is a good man and good father but just sucks ass as a husband. I can't hold down a job so I have to stay put in my dark and lonely prison.

My marriage is struggling too. It's so hard. I feel so alone all of the time.

 

[Sleeper System]

I managed to get through the day. As I suspected I had to put on the mask and endure for the sake of my mom and brother. It hurts so much. I think my mom and me are alot a like. We try our best to wear our happy masks but deep down we are tired and waiting for the end.

I feel bad for my brother. He is taking life by the balls. He is traveling. He is seeing new places. Eating new things. Connecting with friends and family. He smokes weed and drinks. He does not hold back his emotions for anyone. He is fighting his own battles but in his own way. I feel like I can't be around him because I don't want to drag him down. He tries to include us in his plans but we don't have the heart to break his spirit so we make up excuses.

I made it through the day... but found a new hurt that now haunts me. Fuck.

 

[hockeymum9999]

I managed to get through the day. As I suspected I had to put on the mask and endure for the sake of my mom and brother. It hurts so much. I think my mom and me are alot a like. We try our best to wear our happy masks but deep down we are tired and waiting for the end.

I feel bad for my brother. He is taking life by the balls. He is traveling. He is seeing new places. Eating new things. Connecting with friends and family. He smokes weed and drinks. He does not hold back his emotions for anyone. He is fighting his own battles but in his own way. I feel like I can't be around him because I don't want to drag him down. He tries to include us in his plans but we don't have the heart to break his spirit so we make up excuses.

I made it through the day... but found a new hurt that now haunts me. Fuck.

Getting through most days is hard. I have gotten so good at wearing a mask.

I just found out that the daughter I placed for adoption gave birth to her son, 20 years later to the day I had my first born son.

I have started to finish my goodbye letters to a few family members. I am slowly pulling my info together so that everything is in order when I decide to ctb.