Venting Another example of selfishness by some pro-lifer (including infuriating remarks said by them)

[TAW122]

This Reddit thread is another example of a selfish prolifer putting his own needs before his friend. While I cannot respond to the thread, here is my hypothetical response if I were to post.

See this infuriating reply from the poster, u/AffectionateFun5057:

He's been talking a lot of suicide since the doctors told him this is basically all the mobility he's going to get for the remainder of his life. I mean everyday after work. He cries on my shoulder and says if he could at least tie a noose, he'd hang himself in a heartbeat. I shouldn't have snooped but I was concerned when his mobility started coming back that he would find a way to commit suicide and when I went through his search history, it was all "how to kill yourself while paralyzed" type searches.

Also this too:

So I almost hate to say this because ALL human life is sacred but... I am wondering if I should even contest the trip to Switzerland.

Last but not least:

I'm going to see him when I get off work here in a minute and I will try my best to suggest the WFH job and to not give up hope but I am also just like, from an objective standpoint, this may simply be for the best. I will just respect his wishes but I really don't want to have to say goodbye to my friend.

At least someone (who may not fully agree) has some interesting insight in their response, u/babyhaby:

Hi. I'm coming at this from a weird place, being someone who deals with chronic pain that will be life-long and who also lost a brother to suicide. You are a great friend. You clearly care about this person and being a care-giver, in any capacity, is both emotionally and physically draining. Maybe someone here will see this and can give you some resources for help as I have to think there should be some options out there for assistance. Now the hard (honest) bit...

I have chronic pain from a car accident. That accident changed my life - I no longer work, I don't go out like I used to, I'm getting ready to have my 13th surgery on my leg, the medications make me tired and stupid, and I have depression. I have days where I think I wouldn't be here if I didn't know what suicide did to a family. And I have full use of my body, even if it is a bit a mess. I can tell you, with 100% certainty, that I would not choose to be here if I was trapped in a body that didn't work. I hurt all the time, but I am FULLY mobile and some days I don't think I can handle it. I also have loving friends and family.

I would suggest you offer to accompany your friend if he makes the decision to go to Switzerland - it's called death with dignity. Show your love by letting him know you really support him and whatever decision he makes. Right now, he's just existing, he's not living. He WILL find a way to end his life if that's what he wants to do, at least it could be a non-traumatic experience for him, and you, as you would likely to be the one to find him.

I'm sure I'll get lots of religious disagreement, but your friend would not be alive today without medical intervention, so "God's plan" has already been derailed.

So with all those quotes in mind, especially how infuriating, dismissive, and invalidating they are, my "hypothetical" response is written in the quoted box below:

I can understand that losing someone close can be very painful, especially someone who is a good friend. However, if you truly respected your friend, you would respect his wishes even if you don't agree with them. You may already know, but you are not living his life nor experiencing what he is experiencing so while you are able to (currently) enjoy your physical faculties in which he does not, it would not be for you to decide what he does with his life.

Furthermore, if you were in a similar predicament, even if you wanted to continue to live, there are many others who do not share your opinion nor values. But this does not mean that you have the right to impose nor tell them you know better than they, with respect to their own lives. If you really believed in freedom of choice and compassion as well as mercy, then you would accept that in specific cases (especially that of your friend), that ending suffering is for the better.

Additionally, before you claim that your friend is depressed and not of sound mind, first you must consider whether your friend understands his decision to die, and whether he can coherently express it. Based on your story and details, it is shown that your friend is capable of understanding his decision and can coherently express it. Most (if not almost all) humans if they are put in similar situations would wish to die, but do you really consider that "the wish to die is an indication of mental illness or irrationality?" If so, then you would have to deny death to those who are terminally ill (cancer and other terminal illnesses that lead to death within a foreseeable
future), in which you do not, thus making it contradictory.

Anyways, I sincerely hope you respect your friend's wishes and if you do, then kudos to you. If not, then perhaps you will learn how important it is to allow someone who is irremediably suffering and living with a quality of life that is unacceptable to them. You might find yourself in a situation where you wish you had the option that you so vehemently deny to others.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but I felt like putting myself in that quadriplegic friend's shoes and responding as if I were him. (Note: This does not mean that ALL people in those (or similar) predicaments want to die nor does it imply that their lives are not worth living. I'm only speaking for those who do not wish to live in those situations (myself included).)

What are your thoughts and feelings about this? Would you have kinder (or harsher) words than the ones I said in my 'hypothetical' response?

 

[resolutory]

This kind of thing really disturbs me.

A part of the reason I feel the need to CTB, even though I don't particularly want to right now, is because I know that in this current society it's possible to end up in a position, such as the poor person in the post, where I'd desperately want to CTB but would no longer be able to myself, relying only on those around me to help me do something that is basically illegal currently. I find it hard enough as a fully capable individual to get people to listen to me, let alone if I was in such a desperate situation.

The irony of this 'pro-life' society is that I wouldn't mind living longer if I was protected by the knowledge of being able to be euthanized if I ended up in a situation where I'd consider it to be the best option. The more this society is adamant that we live, the more I want to die and feel that's the safest option.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does disgust me when people say things like "all life is sacred", even when somebody is trapped in a horrific situation like that, I bet they wouldn't be saying that if they ended up in the same situation. I hope that the person is able to go to Switzerland for assisted suicide rather than be forced to stay here against their wishes, I find it to be beyond cruel how the option for that isn't even available in most countries.

This world certainly is hell, and I hate how the pro lifer says that they are "concerned" at the thought of the person trying to ctb, that is just extreme selfishness as to me it makes sense wanting to escape from being tortured, it's just wrong to expect the person to stay here against their wishes.